Those Obnoxious Demons
by jaime.evaunit.coronado72
Summary: Issei Hyouhou's life was never the same that day. On that day he faces angels, demons, spirits, conspiracies, war, all thanks to... a game of tag with a space alien?
1. Chapter 1

I don't own neither Highschool DXD or Urusei Yatsura. They belong to their representative owners

* * *

[Lum No Love Song]

(A blank blue screen appears, then a heart with bats wings soon appear, drawing a star.[Song Start] Then the title appears, Issei freaking out and trying to hide from someone.)

**Those Obnoxious Demons**

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide_.(The screen soon change pink, showing a attractive horned girl,freaking Issei out)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(The girl soon wags her finger as Issei runs around)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(The girl skips side to side, Issei ducking under the screen)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban_(The screen changes the girl position revealing her tiger skin boots and bikini)

_Suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(The girl shaking side to side excitement, while Issei was meeting a red haired maiden, a brunette shrine maiden, a blonde nun)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(The girl shaking side to side again, while Issei was seeing a strawberry blonde, a blunette, and a blonde magical girl)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(The girl shakes side to side once more, Issei comically caught by the kendo clubs with is friends)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(The girl soon kiss Issei one the side, making him blush, but soon punched by a small white hair girl)

_Hoshitachi ga kagayaku yofuke_( A UFO draws a heart pattern, soon reveal that the horned girl riding on top of it)

_Yumemiru no anata no subete._(Issei is dancing side to side, but the horned girl and the red headed maiden side stepping towards him, causing him to shrink)

_Aishite mo anata wa shiramburi de._(The two maidens try to kiss him,but he soon leaning back soon join by the other girls surprising him' all of them step dancing)

_Imagoro wa dare ka ni muchuu._(Issei sneaking away with a smile on his face, but soon meets a baby on a floating potty, and breathed fire on him, looking quite charred)

_Aaaaaaaaaa otoko no hitotte. Ikutsu mo ai o motteiru no ne_( A tiger striped ship flys off screen, bat hearts moving across the screen,leaving pink neon streaks behind. The Urusei Yatsura cast running across the screen, red ribbons following them. The fish creature soon following them)

_Aaaaaaaaaa achikochi ni baramaite. Watashi o nayamaseru wa_( A tiger striped space fighter float off screen. The High school of DXD cast are flying upward with a hearts in the back ground. The fish creature tries to fly but soon falls, revealing Issei and the red haired maiden sitting on the moon together as lovers)

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide._(The horned maiden soon appears on the opposite side, tilting the moon and sliding Issei towards her)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(The red haired maiden pushes down, tilting the moon back and sliding Issei towards her, the horned maiden does the same thing, both aren't eager to share Issei. Issei himself looks a bit nervous being between the situation)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(The horned maiden appears in pink once more wagging her finger, while Issei is running around)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban._(The horned maiden shaking side to side in excitement)

_Ichiban suki yo!_(Issei soon sits down, sighing)

* * *

Chapter 01: A Game that changes All

Our story begin in a sunny midday, the sky is crystal clear. Not to far away, a team of little leaguers practicing for the upcoming game. As the pitcher threw the baseball, the batter hit it, letting it sail across the sky, Unfortunately it heading towards a very distracted teen.

"Hey mister, watch out!"

"Huh? AAAHHHH!" the teen soon sees the and ball and... painfully caught it.

The little leaguers soon comes by and sees the teen has the ball and in pain.

"Hey watch where you hit these! You could of hurt someone!" the teen said in anger. The leaguers cringe a bit and the teen soon calms down.

"Look, just be careful next time, you could of really hurt someone, okay?"

"Okay." The leaguers responded.

"Good" the teen tosses back the ball "Now go back playing" he said with a smile.

The teen before us is sixteen year old Issei Hyoudou. He is 5"7', has brown shaggy hair, brown eyes, and currently wearing an open school uniform of Kuoh Academy, revealing a red under shirt.

Today is Issei's lucky day for he is going on a date with his girlfriend, Yuuma Amano, a beautiful girl from another school. Just thinking about her is making him smile perversely, and everyone can see it.

Not too far a small traveling monk is walking by, the sound of his staff clinking, filling the air. He soon bumped into Issei and said something that not quite something some hears from a holy man.

"Hehehe AHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT THAT FACE THAT RIDICULOUS FACE!" the monk laughed, ticking Issei off, his fist tenses greatly.

POW BAM WHAM

"What I meant to say was that on your face bares signs of great omen" the now battered monk said to Issei with a steaming fist.

"What are you taking about?"

"What I'm saying is that before you is great change and calamity."

"Yeah right. Like I'll believe some fake monk" Issei said as he walking away.

"WAIT! Don't go that way. Only despair waits for you." The monk warned him.

"Sorry, but I have a date and this is the only way to reach her." Issei said as he walks away.

The monk sighs and soons place his hands together in prayer. "Poor soul, may Buddha watch over you"

* * *

"Great calamity my ass. Great thing been happen to me ever since I met her." Issei ranted but soon calms down as soon as he was thinking about her.

"(sigh) Yuuma-chan... I don't know what I did to deserve you, but no matter what, I will do my best for you! And maybe... and maybe..." Issei soon drifted off thinking of something perverted again, and people around him could tell.

"Mister!"

"Huh?" Issei soon was out of his trance and now sees a woman cosplaying as a devil.

"Here, take this flyer" the women soon gave Issei a flyer with a pentagram on it. he soon reads it and thought its a bit ridiculous.

" 'Make your wish come true?' Sorry, but no thank..." He soon sees the woman gone.

"Where did she... Ah never mind." He stuffs the flyer into his pocket. Next thing he know he hears a voice of an angel.

"Issei-kun" What Issei sees before him is beautiful girl thats 5"5', having violet hair and eyes, wearing white shirt and black skirt, complementing her innocent appearance and curvy figure.

"Yuuma-chan. Hey there."

"Issei-kun did you wait long?" Yuuma shaking her hips playfully.

"No no I just got here 'YES, I ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT!'" Issei mentally cried.

"Come Issei-kun, the movie is about to start." Yuuma soon grabbed him and both are laughing and smiling. What they didn't know was that not too far from them are a small handful of men in black keeping a eye on them, more specifically, Issei.

"Target confirmed. Should I apprehend?" Thug 1 said.

"Not yet. Wait for the opportune moment." the elder said, obviously the leader.

"Yes Sir." the group responded.

* * *

A few hours past and the sun is setting for the day. Both Yuuma and Issei had a wonderful time from shopping, dining, and playing. They are soon alone in the open, with no one around. Yuuma playfully skips away from Issei and smiles at him. Issei felt a sudden warm, his face showing him blusing.

"Say Issei-kun, can I ask you a favor?"

"A favor? 'Could this be? Will she ask me to... kiss her?' " Issei mentally said. "What is it?" Issei soon swallowed.

Yuuma smiles darkly and said "Will you..."

SCREEEEEEEEEEK

"TARGET CAPTURED MOVE OUT!"

"WAIT SHE WAS GOING TO TELL ME SOMETHING!" Issei screamed as the men in black kidnapped him and drove away, leaving Yuuma behind looking dumbfounded. The wind blowing the flyer away off screen.

"What... the hell...just...HAPPEN!"Yuuma snarled, revealing a mouth full of sharp teeth.

* * *

"NOW TELL ME WHAT IN GODS NAME IS GOING ON!" Issei yelled in fury.

"I apologize for the sudden abduction, but as of now you are a person of great international importance." the elder said.

"Wait what?" Issei was dumbstruck-ed when he heard that. Soon a helicopter flew close by, followed by fighter jets, tanks and armed soldiers. Issei notice something about them, or more specifically, where they were going.

"Why are they coming to my house?"

"You will be fully debriefed when are inside." the elder said.

As soon as they arrived, hordes of reports and journalist flock toward Issei shooting a great number of question that are too incoherent to understand. The only protection from him and this pack of jackals are the thugs in soon arrived inside, Issei showing worry on his face.

"Mother, Father, what is going on?"

"I can't believe it, my pervert of a son is willing to face such odds." Issei's mother said with tears on her eyes.

"I agree my dear. That being of perverseness incarnate shall take his first step of being a man." Issei's father said drying the tears from his eyes. Issei can feel their love for him.

"Can you please tell me whats going on?"

"You shall young man." the elder said leading to his living room, only to see a 10" Oni looking over him. Issei screamed at this sudden appearance.

"Mr. Hyoudou I like you to meet Mr. Invader." the elder said.

"Hello nice to meet you young man." Mr. Invader said.

"Hello Mr. Invader" Issei said.

"Despise his appearance, he is actually a alien from another world and he has chose our world for invasion." he elder explained.

"Invade?!"

"That's right young man. My card" Issei soon was holding a card strangely in perfect Japanese and a comedic picture of Mr. Invader on it.

"You see Mr. Hyoudou, upon their customs, they let the planet a fighting change to save it only by randomly choosing its champion to defend it. By defeating them in a challenge, they will call off the invasion, if we lose..."

"We get to invade in full force." Mr. Invader said happily.

"So will you please accept his challenge and save the world." the elder pleaded.

Issei is in great distraught now. 'Shit, how could this happen, one moment I was having the best day in my life, next thing I know I am suppose to be this world's saver. If I accept his challenge there is a good chance that I will lose and the world is thrown into war, if not, the world is thrown into war and it will be mine fault.'

"Well whats your answer?" Invader asked.

"I guess I have no choice. I accept your challenge Invader. What are we suppose to do?"

Invader looks sternly at Issei, the tension in the room is great, but that soon left when Invader laughs heartly.

"Sorry but I'm not the one challenging you."

"Your not? Then who is?"

* * *

Just outside the Hyoudou residence, the army are on look out, but they soon hear and see Lightening and thunder, but that not whats scaring them right now. Right above them is a colossal tiger striped space ship bigger than anything they or anyone have ever seen. The center of the ship is charging greatly with power. It then shot a bolt of lightening right onto the residence scaring both soldiers and reporters. This cause the reporters to frenzy over this, acting crazier, just to know what happen.

* * *

"Your opponent is just arriving young man." Invader said.

Issei looked confuse at the moment until a bolt of lightening stuck the middle of the room blind everyone. Within it, a shape began to form. It was slim, showing waspish hips, large breasts, long hair, and a small pair of horn on the of its head. When it was done right before Issei is a highly attractive blue haired oni girl, having nothing, but a tiger skin bikini and GoGo boots.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm you opponent, Lum-icha" she just said.

"An oni-girl" Issei said while drooling a bit. but soon punch himself hard 'NO STOP THAT! YOU HAVE YUUMA-CHAN FOR GOD'S SAKE!'

"Hmhmhm. What a funny man you are." Lum said

"My daughter will be your opponent in a game of tag." Invader said.

"Tag?" Issei now looks confused. He was expecting a battle for the planet's future, not a game little kids play.

"Yes. All you have to do is to grab her horns in within ten days and you win."

"That's all?" Issei was looking at her intently. He could tell that she that she will be fast, but she doesn't look like that she has a runner's body. 'I could do it.'

"Don't think you could catch me so easy." Lum said.

"Don't worry, I have alot at stake this, and I say you'll won't have an easy time either." Issei responded, drooling a bit.

"Thank you young man. Today is the day that the course of history will change, whether for better or worse." the elder said, until a huge group of reporters burst through the ground flipping him on his back.

"Mr. Hyoudou, Mr. Hyoudou! How does it feel to bare the fate of the world on your shoulders knowing that your actions will forever change it?" one reporter said.

"Well, heavy as it suppose to be. If I treat it lightly, then there must be something wrong with me." Issei said boldly. "But I do have one question for you? How you guys got inside my house?"

"Yes. How did you come inside our house, more specifically, how under it?" Mrs. Hyoudou asked as a aura of malice radiates from her.

The reporters soon turn pale and immediately ran for the hills leaving behind trails of mud and dirt. That day is when Mrs. Hyoudou hated weaselly reporters.

* * *

The next day was a huge media circus. almost every news media, alien conspiracists, and citizen are all in the main square, waiting in anticipation. In the middle of the square is Issei in a blue track uniform, and Lum jumping up and down in excitement and impatience. A referee soon shows up and starts to addressing them both.

"As the challenge applies, Mr. Hyoudou have ten days to capture and grabs Ms. Invader's horns. Other than that anything goes, beside death. Agreed?"

"Agreed." Issei said

"Yes." Lum said while raising her hand.

"Right, on my mark you will begin. One, ( Issei straightens up), two (he digs his feet into the ground, getting a good hold), THREE!" BANG

Bt the sound of the gun Issei rushes towards Lum trying to end this quickly, what comes next what he didn't expect. Lum just jumps upward, causing him to miss her completely, she's staying up there. Issei looks greatly in shock on what he is seeing. Lum is flying in the air.

"I told you I'm not easy to catch" Lum cheerful states.

"Damn it." Issei silently curse. He quickly got back up and began to chase her. Thus began long days of defeat and humiliation.

* * *

It been almost nine days since the challenge started and in those nine days Issei has been hurt, humiliated, and pushed to his limits. The media depicts him as a complete fool, dooming the planet thanks to his incompetence. People are quickly blaming him for the planets fate. His friends abandon him alone to face this. Right now he is in his room recovering from his latest failure.

"One more day, just one more." he said forlornly. As Issei finish cleaning his wounds, he hears a rapping sound from his window. Issei was expecting more kids throwing rocks at his window, but not Yuuma looking worried.

"Issei-kun."

"Yuuma-chan!? What are you doing here?" Issei said worriedly. In the last few days, he has experience that people will stoop into low things.

"I was worried about you. We haven't talk to each other since our date."

"I'm sorry, but lately I'm getting my butt handed to me by a cute oni-girl in a game of tag." Issei sighed.

"Well at least it's a cute butt." Yuuma teased. Issei blush greatly at that.

"Issei-kun, can I come up?"

"Yes, of course." Issei soon brings in his hidden ladder that he uses for late night porn scavenges.

When she got inside she sees his room is filled with posters, models and magazines depicting beautiful women both real and fable.

"Issei-kun, why you have such a ecchi heart? Do I mean little to you?" Yuuma is looking at Issei with sad puppy eyes, tears on the edge on eyes.

"Wait, Yuuma-chan don't cry. All of this stuff is what I had before we even met. " Issei panics even more when it looks like she is about to burst into tears. "Yuuma, please don't cry. I promise I will get rid of it all of it."

"I don't believe you Issei." Issei looks greatly hurt by that comment. "This type of behavior is not something that will disappear overnight..."

"Yuuma." Issei is starting to fear on what she is saying.

"but, if you really mean it, I will help you as long as it takes..." Issei brightens when he hears that. Yuuma soon came to Issei closely, causing Issei to blush furiously.

"... maybe longer to be certain." Steam soon escape from his ears, his face frozen in shock.

'Longer!? Does that mean that she, she will...' Issei's mind immediately showing both himself in groom's wedding suit and Yuuma in a bride's wedding dress. Issei whole body freezes on the spot. Yuuma soon titters at his reaction.

"See you soon Issei-kun." Yuuma soon leaves his room, leaving a still shocked Issei alone in his room.

* * *

Not too far Yuuma is on the street, and soon meets a clergyman with wild eyes.

"So, how the pep talk with him Raynare." the crazed clergyman said.

Yuuma appearance quickly changes from a innocent girl to a blood thirsty woman, along with her voice.

"Exactly as planned. I gave the fool a shot of confidence that he thinks is needs." Raynare said coldly.

"Hehehehehehehe, good. When that fool fails tomorrow, he will runs towards you in comfort."

"But he will only get is betrayal as I stick him as a squealing pig, securing our safety and ensures our plan to get the sacred gear from that naive girl."

"Bingo Raynare. Won't be long till we get our vengeance from those idiotic bastards from the church."

"Not to mention destroy the other competition on all sides. Until then, see you later Freed Sellzen." Raynare soon jumps into the air, leaving black feathers behind her. Freed Sellzen soon laughs madly as he walks towards an abandon church, a blood red moon shining behind it.

* * *

"I won't forgive you sensei... unless... unless you... marry me." the alarm soon stops when Issei pressed the snooze button. Issei was still in his bed but a laughter soon rises from him.

"Hehehehehehehe...HAHAHAHAHAHA THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS DAY. WIN OR LOSE I WILL BE THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE!"

* * *

"Today is the last day for Issei Hyoudou to win this challenge. Will he succeed or will he doom our world to war." a reporter in a helicopter stats as he flys over Issei and Lum. What he doesn't notice that Issei is smiling greatly and mumbling greatly.

"As soon as I win this, Me and Yuuma will marry hehehehe." Issei said with a big doopy smile on his face. What Lum heard was a bit different,

"Marriage? But with who? Does he mean...?" BANG

The gun shot snapped both Lum and Issei out of their trances. Issei quickly got the jump on Lum, but she quickly jumps into the air dodging him. Lum just floated away somewhere safe.

"Phew, that was close." Lum's peace was disturbed when Issei was right afront of her ready to grab her.

"EEEEEEEEEKKK" Lum soon jumps farther away, but she sees Issei close behind her. Upon seeing this, she flys faster try to lose him, but no matter how hard she tries, Issei is a few steps behind her. Sadly this didn't last long for Issei. He is showing signs that he is slowing down, getting tired.

'No, not now. I'm so close. I can't give up, not now... not EVER!' Then something change within him. A sudden power starts to builts inside him. His body starts to glow red, a great fire burns within him. Then it appears. In a blinding light a green gem emerges from his left hand. Red armor builds around it, spreading around his hand and forearm. When the light dies, everyone is greatly surprise on what they see. What just formed was a red gauntlet, with a green gem glowing brightly in the posterior end of the hand, and the fingers are claw like. Lum show a bit of fear when she sees the transformation, wondering who and what is he. Issei on the other hand...

"This power, this power that courses through me. Yes I can win. I CAN WIN!"

_**BOOST**_

Issei soon ran towards Lum, faster then before. Lum starts to fly away trying to get away, but Issei is not only faster, but he is also jumping twice as high nearly catching her in mid air.

"No get away!" Lum said in fear.

"No, I will not, not until I win this!" Issei said as he raise is armored hand and it glows brightly again.

_**BOOST**_

Not long they were both jumping building to building with Issei greatly catching up to Lum. Not too far was Raynare in her Yuuma disguise looking furious.

"That brat. He activated his Sacred Gear!?" She then sheds her disguise, revealing blood red predator eyes, a mouth full of needle like teeth, and wearing black leather bondage straps, an on her back are black raven wings.

"I'll kill you son of a whore!" Raynare soon flies off following them in blind rage.

Back to Issei, he is catching up to her with each second, coming closer and closer to his goal. Lum however...

"No keep away!" Tears of fear are trailing down her face trying every trick and maneuver she knows. With all that twisting and turing, Lum didn't see the wall right before her and slams into it hard, falling toward the ground.

"Oh no LUM!" Issei sees her falling and did his most idiotic move yet, he jumps for her.

Everyone is seeing this, holding their breaths, hoping that nothing happens to them. Raynare sees this hoping that Issei falls to his death. When Issei grabs her, he tightly held onto her and prays that this power protects them.

When they were closing to the ground the shine once more Issei body glowing more so.

_**BOOST **_BOOOOOOOOMMMM

Everyone is silent. Trying to see any sign of life. Within the cloud of dust, in the middle of the crater, are Issei, who protected Lum from the fall. Lum was the first to awaken to see a battered Issei holding on to her body tightly.

"No, please NO!" Lum is in great distress so see the man she fear not too long ago protecting her from a great fall. "Please...no. Don't die. Please." Tears were rolling off her eyes landing on Issei's face. Not long Issei begins to stir to see Lum Invader, crying.

"Okay. That was the stupidest thing I have done. You okay?" Lum was greatly surprise to see that Issei is taking this lightly.

"BAKA! Of course I'm alright! What about you!? You fell three stories to protect me."

"Your fine? Good." Issei cheerfully said as he grabs Lum horns. A large sphere explodes in confetti and a banner that says 'Victory'. Soon every on earth cheered to know that not only did Issei survives his fall, but also completes the challenge.

"Yes! Finally I won! I can get married!" Issei screams in joy, acting like the fall was nothing.

"'Married?' Does that you really want to..." Lum said with a blush, but that soon change when Issei saw something.

"LOOK OUT!" Issei grabs Lum out of the way, and an explosion occurs near them. What landed near them was Raynare, her eyes full of fury and malice, Lum was scared greatly, while Issei is shocks on what he sees.

"Yuuma, what are doing here, and in s&m leather straps." His nose is bleeding seeing his girlfriend showing so much skin and cleavage. What he was expecting the voice of an innocent girl, but instead he heard a voice a cold hearted woman.

"You fucking bastard. You can't die can't you."

"What?"

"You heard me. Why can't you just die like the pig you are. Hehehehehehehe... you know on our little date, I was planning to kill you on that day, but surprisingly that didn't happen according to plan."

Issei looks in shock on what he is hearing right now. "Yuuma why?"

Raynare smiles cruelly at this. "Its because of that power that God has given you. If left all alone, others may have suede you to their side, bring danger to not only to me but to others. That power coursing through you right now is not even a fraction on what it can do." A spear of crimson light appears in her hand reading to strike. "And the best part that no one will know the truth." she said, revealing her fangs.

"No..no...NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!" something snaps inside Issei as he raises his gauntlet at the fallen angel. the gem glowing once more brighter then it has ever before.

_**EXPLOSION**_

A small sphere of energy gathers in his fist, building, growing, until Raynare's spear struck it and it shoots forward. What came out was a large beam of energy that consumes Raynare, screaming in great agony. The spectators duck under the beam, the glasses of the buildings shaking violently, like a typhoon just came. And when it was over, Issei is shaken, weak from this act and sees Raynare body greatly burned, struggling to stand.

"You god damn BASTARD! I SHALL KILL YOU AND THAT BITCH IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO!"

"I don't think so dear."

"WHA..." before she could finish, a charm was place on her forehead and sees a small buddist monk afront of her. Almost immediatly, she screams on great pain as if electricity is coursing through her body. Soon, her wings disappear and she can feel her energy draining away. "What have you done to me."

"I shall tell you three things my dear. Firstly, you are not as stealthy as you think." The monk points out the crewmen and spectators that witness all that just happen. "Second, what I did to you is that I place a sealing charm on you, sealing your power away."

"Impossible. I am an angel, an being of light." Raynare said in disbelief.

"Wrong. You were a being of light when you sided with heaven, but as soon as you betray them, you are no different to a demon born in hell."

"You BASTARD. MY ALLIES WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND NOT ONLY KILL YOU, BUT TO ALL YOUR LOVE ONE." Raynare screams in hate. The monk scoffs at her remark.

"You act as if I am new to this. Sorry my dear, but my family specializes in exorcizing demons and evil spirits. Creatures fallen from heaven are not going to make a difference." The monk turns around and leaves. "Oh, one more thing, who you consider allies are just using you for your power, not for friendship. A snake will turn on another snake just for it's own needs."

The police quickly arrest Raynare for the crimes of attempted murder, attempted political assassination, carrying a lethal weapon, false identification, and public indecency. The reporters are swarming Issei asking questions about what happen, what was his power, what was his relationship with Raynare. Before Issei can even say a word, Lum glomps him to the ground and starts kissing him all over his face.

"Darling! Your were so brave (kiss) so strong (kiss) protecting me from that fall (kiss) and that devil woman(kiss). I have decided."

"Decide what?" Issei said in a daze. His brain trying to catch up.

"For marriage silly. I will become your wife."

"WHAT!" was everyone's general reaction, especially Mr. Invader's reaction. The reporter went to a frenzy. Nevermind current events, gossip on the once political rivals turn lovers will turn in the ratings. Lum is holding onto Issei tightly, bit whisper something into his ear.

"But if you cheat on me like you did with that devil woman..." an electrical charge was building inside her and let it course it though Issei's body, Issei was spazzing and shaking erratically as electricity are arcing throughout his body. The spectators wince as they sees this. Issei was barley conscience when he heard 'Yuuma's' final word.

"KNOW THIS ISSEI HYOUDOU! YOU WILL BE FOREVER CURSED BY GOD'S GIFT! YOU WILL NEVER HAVE REST NOR PEACE! ALL THAT YOU HOLD PRECIOUS WILL BE DESTROYED! YOU SHALL FOREVER..." before she could finish, Lum sends a large bolt of lightening directly at her, causing her to spasm and lose conscience.

"Shut up you evil woman! You don't even deserve someone as brave as darling. Is that right darling?" Lum said as she cozy up to him, while he is barley conscience. The monk just saw all this and place in hands together on prayer.

"Poor soul. As I said great change and calamity awaits for you. May Buddha watch over you."

* * *

On a different location in what it looks to be a manor, a red haired maiden with nothing but a towel on sees the event and ponders on it.

"Issei Hyoudou... hmmm. Akeno."

"Yes Rias-sama." a equally beautiful brunette appears standing besides her.

"What happen to the flyer the familiars passed to him?" Rias asked.

"Ara ara... when the government pick him up, the flyer flew out of his pocket." Rias pouted that that remark.

"That boy has a great power that can challenge god himself." Rias soon picks up a red pawn chess piece and glows in her hand. "He will make a good addition to my peerage."

* * *

**AUTHOR NOTE: **Okay readers, this is my first typed Fanfiction. I will read your reviews for constructive criticism. Negative comments will be ignored.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own neither Highschool DXD or Urusei Yatsura. They belong to their representative owners

* * *

[Lum No Love Song]

(A blank blue screen appears, then a heart with bats wings soon appear, drawing a star.[Song Start] Then the title appears, Issei freaking out and trying to hide from someone.)

**Those Obnoxious Demons**

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide_.(The screen soon change pink, showing Lum,freaking Issei out)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(Lum soon wags her finger as Issei runs around)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(Lum skips side to side, Issei ducking under the screen)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban_(The screen changes Lum's position revealing her tiger skin boots and bikini)

_Suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(Lum is shaking side to side excitement, while Issei was meeting Rias, Akeno as a shrine maiden, a blonde nun)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(Lum is shaking side to side again, while Issei was seeing a strawberry blonde, a blunette, and a blonde magical girl)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(Lum is shakes side to side once more, Issei comically caught by the kendo clubs with is friends)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(Lum soon kiss Issei one the side, making him blush, but soon punched by a small white hair girl)

_Hoshitachi ga kagayaku yofuke_( A UFO draws a heart pattern, soon reveal that Lum riding on top of it)

_Yumemiru no anata no subete._(Issei is dancing side to side, but Lum and Rias are side stepping towards him, causing him to shrink)

_Aishite mo anata wa shiramburi de._(The two maidens try to kiss him,but he soon leaning back soon join by the other girls surprising him' all of them step dancing)

_Imagoro wa dare ka ni muchuu._(Issei sneaking away with a smile on his face, but soon meets a baby on a floating potty, and breathed fire on him, looking quite charred)

_Aaaaaaaaaa otoko no hitotte. Ikutsu mo ai o motteiru no ne_( A tiger striped ship flys off screen, bat hearts moving across the screen,leaving pink neon streaks behind. The Urusei Yatsura cast running across the screen, red ribbons following them. The fish creature soon following them)

_Aaaaaaaaaa achikochi ni baramaite. Watashi o nayamaseru wa_( A tiger striped space fighter float off screen. The Highschool of DXD cast are flying upward with a hearts in the back ground. The fish creature tries to fly but soon falls, revealing Issei and Rias sitting on the moon together as lovers)

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide._(Lum soon appears on the opposite side, tilting the moon and sliding Issei towards her)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(Rias pushes down, tilting the moon back and sliding Issei towards her, Lum does the same thing, both aren't eager to share Issei. Issei himself looks a bit nervous being between the situation)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(Lum appears in pink once more wagging her finger, while Issei is running around)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban._(Lum is shaking side to side in excitement)

_Ichiban suki yo!_(Issei soon sits down, sighing)

* * *

Chapter 02: The Chibi-devil and the Devil Princess

Kuoh Academy. Once a private, all girl academy, that daughters of the elite and prestigious are send to teach and groom, to take over roles to rule their household, their family's company or to increase their worth as dowrys in arrange marriages. Now, its a co-ed public school. that students with exceptional grades and potential are sent, hoping to earn a chance of a successful future. This however, doesn't mean that the idealism of elitism and pedigrees are gone in those hallowed hall. For you see, this dramatic change appeared three years ago. Many teachers are still in the mind set of favoring and pampering their most prestigious students, many of the seniors looks down on many students as an eyesore or as an embarrassment to their school, and being sent to Kuoh Academy still means that the parents expect perfect grades, and perfect behavior. For Issei Hyouhou, these are acceptable term when he, and the vast majority of the males that enter this school, when the girl/boy ratio are 3:1. For most boys, that means that getting a girlfriend are really good. For Issei and a small minority however...

"Man check her out. Her porcelain skin, her cute face, her killer curves, combine with her petite form... that makes her one of the most illusive kind of girl that though to only exist in anime, mangas, pornography and poor fanfiction." A bald, lean second year male student said, while he is drooling greatly and his eyes are popping out.

"110, 70, 110. While her taste in sweets gives her a small paunch, rounding her figure, but vast majority of that excess calories went and build large, perky breasts, flare her hips, forcing her to swing a sexual swagger, and a large, bountiful butt that rumored to be able to balance a full drinking glass." another second year male student said, his glasses glaring in the sun, his eyes not off the girl once.

"That's right gentleman. Right before us is the once fabled woman that no man, no matter his taste, will ever refuse. That his beautiful specimen is the infamous... Oppai Loli!" Issei said as he raises his fist, while countless images of large breasted petite girls are behind him.

The two beside Issei are Matsuda, the jock of the group, and Motohama, the brains of the group. They are better known as Matsuda 'The proclaimed Lolicon', Motohama 'The Three Size Scouter,' and Issei as the 'Harem King', and in their minds, are the embodiment of what young men are suppose to behave and act in their age. The girls however...

"Ew, the Perverted Trio is looking this way."

"Why are they looking at me?"

"Quick run away before we catch their perverseness!"

"EEEEEEIIIIIIIIYYYYYAAAAAA!"

They are also notoriously known to the school as The Perverted Trio. Thanks to their lecherous nature, getting a girlfriend in any shape or form are next to zero and none.

"Why is that every opportunity to get a girlfriend always ends in disaster?" Mastuda said as he crotches down, a despair cloud floating above him.

"That's because the old policy about honesty are with the dinosaurs. Old, dead, useless." Motohama said as he appear in the same position as Mastuda.

"Come on guys. Don't give up! Remember why we enter this school! Why we refine our talents to even enter Kuoh Academy! It to become men by taking that forbidden step that will make or break us!" Issei rise his fist and shout will full vigor and youth. "TO LOSE OUR VIRGINITY IN UNPROTECTED SEX!" Issei earned disgusted looks from nearby female students, while silent nods from nearby male student that understand their pain.

"Easy for you to say Issei. You had a girlfriend to back that up." Mastuda said.

"Agree, even if it was fake, you had tasted what it feels like to have one. It is something no man will never forget." Motohama pointed out. Issei froze on the spot. Soon later, Issei is with them in the same position, same cloud, crying in waterfalls as he looks at a picture that he and 'Yuuma' took together.

"YUUMAAAAAAAA! WHY DID THIS HAPPEN!? WERE WE ENEMIES IN A PAST LIFE?! WAS I A DEMON THAT LED YOU ASTRAY FROM HEAVEN?! PLEASE TELL ME!" Issei's friends sympathies with him, patting his back comforting him. What was suppose to be an emotional bonding between friends, quickly turn to a hate fest when a group of girls calls on the most loved and despised person on campus.

"AAAAAAHHHHH! YUUTO KIBA!" a swarm of girl instantly swarms a 5"8' blond second year student. He his incredibly handsome, many consider him a bishonen, combine with his European features, makes him highly desirable man to the female student body . To the male half however...

"Yuuto Kiba, the enemy of all men in this life time and next." Matuda said as a aura of rage surrounds him, almost every blood vessel in his body pulsate to a point almost near bursting point.

"A man who's only charm is his looks and mannerism. He has to do little to nothing to wins a girl's heart." Motohama said, his eyes are glowing red, along with his glasses, when he adjusts them.

"And the worst part is that when a girl asks him out or confess their feelings for him, he rejects them without a second thought!" Issei said in a firey background.

"YUUTO KIBA, YOU ARE THE DEVIL AMONG MEN!" The trio has said. This barely caught Yuuto's attention, but doesn't know what they said.

"I sorry. Did you three just call me?" Yuuto said with calmness, causing the girls love him even more. This cause the Trio to hate him more.

"You Bishonen bastard. Is there anything that you don't brush off." Matsuda said at him.

"Even in a presence of the school's baseball MVP, President and captain of the mathematician club, and a raising sculpting artisan/ earth's hero, you act so smug when your only talent is being eye candy." Motohama said as he squeezes his glasses almost to the point of breaking.

"No one knows anything about you, other than your good looks and mannerism. What makes you better then us!" Issei said as fire are flickering in his eyes.

"Its because that he isn't a perverted fiend like you three." a girl said quickly. This shocks the Trio quickly, but they soon recover.

"At least we are honest on how we feel. Yuuto can't even tell why he rejects so many girl's hearts. Come on guys lets go. I know a spot that we can relax." Matsuda said, leading them the way.

The girls look at them with disgust, but soon try to comfort Yuuto, thinking that he was hurt by their comments. Yuuto however..

"Issei Hyouhou. What will you do when Rias give you the offer." he said quietly.

* * *

"Hehehehe look at her. Wow, I didn't know she wear such cute panties."

"80,60.75. A curvy figure for a athletic girl."

"You know what will be nice? Let me have a turn!" Issei silently yell at them as they hog a small hole that shows the girl's locker room.

"Yeah yeah in a minute." Mastuda said as he wave off Issei.

"Yes Issei. Learn some patience. You are our planet's hero. You have to keep up your image." Motohama said, imitating Mastuda's earlier action.

"Come on guys you own me one when you bail on me that night." Issei reminded those two.

(Flashback)

"Man, I can't believe I lost again, even with the jet pack." Issei said as Mastuda and Motohama are carrying him home.

"True man. I thought the jet pack will help. Who would of thought that it was a experimental prototype." Mastuda said.

"Yes, combine with your inexperience with military grade transportation. Something like that is not unforeseen." Motohama pointed out.

"Then why did the military gave me such a thing."

"Today is the ninth day. They are getting desperate."

"No surprise. You feel in a garbage truck, got lost in the forest, got attacked by dogs, got lost at sea that one day..."

"Okay I get it. I'm pathetic example of humanity. Can we get home already. I have bruises that has bruises." Issei pointed out.

"Yeah yeah." Mastuda said, but sees something in the distance. Motohama notices too. Issei however...

"Oh God no. Not the reporters again. They turn anything I say or do into some sort of tabloid junk. I don't know about you guys but,..." Issei was about to talk to his friends, but only see a trail of dust flying in the opposite direction. Issei was shock to see his friends bail him in the middle of this mess. Not long he was surrounded by reporters shooting questions that has nothing to do with the challenge or what happen in the last few days.

(Flashback ends)

Both Mastuda and Motohama think back that day and feels a bit sorry for what happen.

"Okay you win." Mastuda groan in frustration.

"Just make it quick." Motohama points out.

"Alright hehehehe." Issei smiles as its his turn to see bare flesh afront of him, but only to see nothing.

"Huh? Where did they go?"

"Right behind you pervert." a girl's voice said behind him. To his fear, all the women in the locker room are right behind him, all of them carrying a aura of malice before him. What makes this worst is that all of them are the infamous all girl kendo club that are know to beat up people like the Trio in and out of school grounds on a daily bases.

"Oh shit! The kendo club. Guys you better get out..." in a sense of deja vu, he sees two trails of dust going in the opposite direction. He couldn't believe on what he saw. His friends abandon him in this situation, again!

"Issei Hyouhou, prepare for justice!" the kendo leader says as she raise her wood carved sword. Issei quickly dodges her swing and soon sees the others are preparing their swings at him. In either masterful dodging or luck, he manage to avoid their swings and escape the crowd.

"Stop him he getting away!" the leader said. The kendo club soon runs after Issei to deliver justice onto his hide. Issei was soon being chased by a large group of women, but not the way that he dreams of. Issei was running through the halls, through class rooms, through the baseball fields, so on until he is trapped between a cement wall and a group of girls trained in the art of swordsmanship.

"Now surrender pervert. You have nowhere to hide." The kendo leader said, visibly tired and cover in sweat.

'Damn it, they cover all the exits' Issei thought as he sees that there is no escape, but... 'That tree branch if I could reach it then I could...' Issei train of thought is interrupted when kendo leader jumps into the air getting ready to strike him down. In a moment of clarity, Issei sees how he can escape. When the kendo leader swung her sword, Issei barely dodges it and then uses the leader's head as a springboard, to launch himself to the tree branch.

"Oh GOD! HE TOUCH ME! I GONNA CATCH HIS PERVERSENESS!" the kendo leader is panicking, while her followers are trying to calm her down. Issei use the branch and climb to the wall.

"Sorry ladies, but perverseness isn't a disease, but one own lustful nature. The way you reacting though, it appears that you have some skeletons in your closet. Each of them are an embodiment of your pent-up lust, each of them curious, each of them yearn for release." Issei stats. The kendo leader blush furiously at Issei's remark. Issei smiles as it appears he hit the head right on the nail. "If you need release, all you need to do is to ask. (Crack) Until then, this will be the last you see the HAREM (BAM) AAAHHH!" Issei screams in pain as a baseball hits him square on the head and fell down to the ground right on his back.

"Ow." Issei wince in pain and slowly rise up, to only see wooden sword pointed at him. "Eheheheh. Hello ladies, its been a while sence we last met. How have you been."

"Fine. You know that favor you promise us."

"Yes." Issei is visibly scared right now.

"I think I will use that promise, (rising her sword above his head) right NOW!"

"NO WAIT!" BAM WHAM CRACK "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

* * *

"Thanks for backing me up there guys. I could feel the love you guys." a battered Issei said to his two friends.

"Che. Don't act like you won't do the same if one of us are that situation." Mastuda said.

"I agree with him. What you said to the captain is quite bold. Not many have the guts, or stupidity to say that." Motohama said as he adjust his glasses.

"Hahaha I get it. I done something stupid and I would bail you guys in a heartbeat." grumply accepts.

"See how excepting your faults make you feel better. Now lets get this behind us and head for class. Its not good for the president of the mathematician club being late for his class." Motohama said.

"I agree man. If I'm late for class, my parents will kill me." Mastuda points out.

"Alright lets go." Issei agrees and all of them run towards their classes, but Issei saw something. A flash of red in a window appears. What Issei was a beautiful woman with long crimson hair, pale white skin, sapphire eyes and a beauty that only heaven knows. "Who's that?" Issei said breathlessly. Both Mastuda and Motohama stop to see what he's seeing.

"Her? Man your barking up the wrong tree. That Rias Gremory, president of the Research Occult Club the most beautiful woman in school. Every man loves her, every girl adores her, and both will go great lengths to protect her." Mastuda told him.

"Yes. Her 99, 58, 90 measurements gives her a near perfect hourglass figure, combine with her European Lineage, she is the embodiment of foreign beauty." Motohama points out.

As Issei stares at her, he could feel a tense sensation were his gauntlet was at. But something kills the mood almost immediately.

"Ah to be young. It been a life time since I saw a beauty." the monk said as he suddenly appear in the middle of the Trio. All of them freak out as soon as he spoke out of no where. When Issei sees him, he immediately got angry.

"YOU AGAIN! IS IT BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU RUIN MY LOVE LIFE, BUT NOW MY EVERYDAY LIFE?!" the monk wince at Issei's yelling, but soon got back and whack Issei on the head.

"First off, I warn you that you will face a great calamity and chose to ignore it. And second, I am here to prevent anymore calamity." The monk clarity it to Issei as he cringe in pain.

"Anymore? How can things get worst."

"Don't ask for things that you don't want the answer to. Now I will meet you later at your house when school is over."

"Wait. How do you know where I live?" Issei said suspiciously.

"You were on the news for two weeks. Who doesn't know where you live." the monk point's out. Issei grumbles to this but agrees to this.

"Could you at least tell me you name?" The monk soon looks Issei seriously.

"My name is Sakuranbo, but you may call me Cherry."

"Cherry? Seriously?"

"Wait, does his name means 'deranged monk'?" Mastuda whispers into Motohama's ear.

"Yes it does. His name, in truth, means 'Deranged monk' and 'Cherry'." Motohama clears up.

"Whatever man. Come on guys. We don't need to late." Issei said to the other.

"A word of warning. A beautiful rose is not without thorns, and pain will always follows them." Cherry said to Issei before the Trio left to class. The monk sigh as he leaves to. 'This place makes me uneasy. This place is too close to the underworld for my confort.'

As he leaves, Rias Gremory is keeping an eye on his to make sure he doesn't cause trouble to anyone or anything while he is in her 'territory'.

* * *

"Cherry?" Issei"s parents said in confusion. Right now They are all at Issei's house discussing about Issei's situation.

"Husband you hear that. More calamity will follow Issei. Even if he is a perverted fiend, not even he deserve such a fate." Issei mother said in worry.

"I know dear. It not bad enough that our neighbors were going to lynch us, but things are going to get worse to our sex fiend son." Issei's father said, he too in worry.

"I can tell your parent's care for you." Cherry said to Issei.

"Yeah me too." Issei said monotonously.

* * *

"Look, I know you trying to prevent more misfortune on me and all, but do you have to watch over me while I sleep." Issei said as he is trying to sleep, while Cherry is watching over him.

"Just making sure."Not long when Cherry arrived, the Issei family saw things that contradicts on what a holy man suppose to be. Cherry is not very clean, he has poor mannerism, and his appetite could challenge a starving pig. The Hyouhou family suspects that he's more a pig than a monk. Maybe a greedy octopus if one squints their eyes.

Issei is trying to get some sleep, but couldn't. Not mainly because of Cherry constant eye on him, but what happen on that last day of the challenge.

'What is a sacred gear? What made me get one? What make it so dangerous?' Issei looks at his hand where his gauntlet appeared. Not long his mind drifts to Rias, and he starts to drool a bit.'Hehehe Rias Gremory. I wonder what you wear underneath your uniform.' Issei soon imagines Rias is wearing erotic black lingerie and laying on a bed. She was calling him to join her and to keep her warm. He happly excepts, but not long a bolt of lightening stuck before him and scares him on what he sees. Right before him is Lum, seething in anger and electricity jumping off her body. ' Lum what are doing here?' 'Darling, how dare you cheat on me!' Lum shot a bolt of lightening at Issei and he screams in pain.

Issei woke up in sweat. He sees Cherry fast asleep. Issei grumbles a bit but a sharp pain emerges behind his head. 'Don't tell me that wound still hasn't heal yet.' Issei sees it's 11:59 pm, and decides to check his injury in the bathroom. When he's in the restroom, he took a hand mirror and adjusts to to the bathroom mirror, it was now 12:00 am, Friday the Thirteenth. A pair of red glowing eyes appear inside the hand mirror ,scaring Issei to drop it. A pool of miasma emerge from it, covering the floor. A small figure emerges from the middle of it. The miasma slowly drifts off the figure to reveal... a tiny demonic jester. It has a large overbite, pale blue skin, purple fur, a pair of horns that looks more a jester cap, and of course a devil spade tail. Issei doesn't know whether to freak out or laugh at it.

"If one should put one mirror and face another, at midnight, in Friday the 13th, this will summon a devil from hell." The fish creature said from a corner of the screen. "Man, this is worst when I was doing it on those horrible English dub ones."

The little devil looks around seeing that he isn't in the underworld, and then he notice the human before him, just as freak out as he is. The devil soon panics and tries to enter the mirror before it's too late. Sadly for him, a blunt object saturated with holy energy whacks him on the head and he goes down.

"YES I DID IT! I VANQUISHED THE DEMON!" Cherry screams as he hit the demon with his staff. Not long the devil got back up scaring Issei and Cherry as he runs to the mirror and he smashes to it. It is 12:01 am now, the summoning is over. The devil starts to cry and tears are leaking put of his eyes. Issei start to pity him, but that soon gone when the devil places a knife at his throat and talks in a squeaky voice.

"Send me back. send me back human!" the devil demanded.

"What are you talking about! I don't even know how you got here in the first place!" Issei truthfully answer, and the devil could tell. The devil starts to cry once more.

"Oh my, first space aliens, then dark angels, now devils. You truly are cursed are you." Cherry points out causing Issei and the devil to stare at him angrily.

* * *

"So our son accidentally summon you last night?" Mrs. Hyouhou said as she serve the devil a slice of melon.

"Yes the fool did. A common knowledge of devil summoning and he doesn't knows it." the devil said right before he starts eating his melon.

"How unfortunate, one minute you just mining your own business, next thing you know someone summons you with no way back. I think they use that plot in many animes, and mangas." Mr. Hyouhou said as he reads the morning paper. "Huh, look at this. 'Crazed Angel founded killed in hospital room. Evidence points to other forces when room is filled with black feathers belonging to the victim and eye witnesses seeing a priest entering and leaving the hospital and room.' What a shame."

"Oh, are they talking about Yuuma? How sad. She maybe a cold hearted killer, but she was making Issei a better man." Mrs. Hyouhou said as she pities the departed angel. Issei looks down sadly when he heard the news. The devil was laughing when he heard the news.

"Hehehehe. A fallen angel meeting an untimely end is as common as you humans breathing air."

"What you say!" Issei got mad at the devil. "She was my girlfriend! She was... she was..."

"A fallen angel that didn't love you in the first place. Fallen angels are beings that abandon or banished from heaven, but still hold that fat smug attitude knowing that they still hold onto their angelic powers."

"Wait how you know all this?"

"I'm a devil. How I not know fallen angels. The only decent one are the ones that join us demons out of free will. The rest are too crazy and selfish to be organize or all too ready to spark war between us, them, and heaven." Issei is now curious on how much the devil knows. That thought soon stop.

"Issei you better hurry. You still have school today you better hurry." Mr. Hyouhou said. Issei flinched as he almost forgot. He soon dreads the thought of returning home, seeing Cherry using a half baked plan to send the devil back home. For all he knows it will multiply the devil by the thousands. Then a idea pops into his head. 'Wait, what if I bring him to school to the occult research club and they can sent him back. Not only will he be rid of the devil, but also gives a chance to see Rias, and milk a few questions while I'm at it.

"Say do you wanna come to school with me?"

"What for?" the devil said as he continues to eat his melon.

"Well there is Occult research club and I bet they have a painless method of sending you home."

"Hmm. Alright I'll give it a try."

"'Yes.' Alright lets get going."

* * *

"So devil. Do you know what are sacred gears are?" Issei said as they are walking down the street, earning many stares from others.

"Remember people. Do expect crazy or nonsense situations because this story is crossover with Urusei Yatsura." the fish creature said as it crosses the street.

"How you know about them?" The devil ask. Issei soon looks forlorn when he asks that.

"I have a sacred gear and that's the only reason Yuuma gone out with me... and planned to kill me."

"I see. She was special to you was she?" Issei shook his head to confirm it.

"Yes, no one should forget their first love, no matter the outcome. Well to answer your question, a sacred gear is a weapon or tool that god created that usually embodies inside humans."

"Why human?"

"I think it has to do with having a incredible trait or something." Issei nods at this. He knows that his ability making life like sculptors.

"How dangerous can they be?"

"Depends on the it's ability. They normally tools that aid a side in some manner or a weapon that make their enemies run for the hills. Very few are actually can be a dangerous as a whole."

"How dangerous?" Issei is curious in how dangerous is his gear.

"At highest, on par with God if the individual has the training, experience and the energy to use it fully." Issei jumps at that.

"You mean I have the potential to have a fist fight with God!"

"Of course not. You will faint after the first few uses of it. That gear of your will kill you first before you can use it fully."

"Wait you know what my gear is?" Issei is a bit scared.

"I can sense it right now. It's one of those rare types. Dragon to be specific."

"Dragon?"

"Yes. Dragons are powerful beast that many consider gods for good reason." Issei is staring at his left hand in shock. He is a demigod in the process. Issei soon imagines himself as a true harem king. Horde's of women of every shape and form at his side waiting impatiently to service him. Issei smiles and drools as the pervert he is. The devil soon hits his head to snap him out of it.

"You can dream of your harem later after you actually grow in power. Your power still immature, barley consider a hatchling.(Issei soon slumps down as his dream are shattered) now where is this school of yours?" the devil said in impatience.

"It's right there." Issei points out and the devil froze on the spot. Like most males, he sees this as the holy grounds of beautiful women. He was shaking in excitement and he can't hold it in.

"BEAUTIFUL WOMAN! BE MY WIFE!" he said as he latches on to a random girl.

"EEEEKKK! A RAT! HELP ME!" the girl scream in help. When a girl tries to remove him, he soon latches onto her and says to her to be his wife, equally freaked out. When a guy tries to remove him, the demon instantly jumps into the air and kick him right on the face. The devil soon latches on to another girl and it repeats over and over. Issei soon chases after him.

"Hey wait! We still need to go to the Occult Research Club! At least share some with me!"

* * *

"So Rias-sama wants me to invite Issei Hyouhou into the club house?" Yuuto asks a 5"6' beautiful black hair woman, with a figure that super models will kill for. Her name is Akeno Himejima, another heavenly beauty, and many consider her a 'True Japanese Beauty."

"That's right Yuuto. Before class can start, you must invite Issei to the clubhouse, and mention Rias is the one who invited him. Do you remember it all?" Akeno sweetly ask Yuuto.

"Yes I do. I will inform Issei as soon as possible."

"HEY GET BACK HERE!" Both Yuuto and Akeno hears Issei's voice and sees him chasing something. And it latches onto Akeno's breast.

"WOMAN! BECOME MY WIFE!" the devil said. This cause Akeno to feel warm inside as her masochist nature turns on.

"Ara ara. Who do we have here? A little devil lost his way to hell?" she said as she begins to hug the demon. Issei saw this began to feel jealous. 'That bastard! That should be me hugging her.'

"Ah, Issei. We where just talking about you." Yuuto said.

"What do you mean Bishonen bastard?"

"We were going to get you to come to our club." Yuuto explains, but Issei still doesn'y know what are they talking about.

"He means that Rias Gremory, the president of the Occult Research Club, invites you, Issei Hyouhou, to our club today." Akeno explains to Issei, and soon brightens up.

"Really? What a coincidence. I was looking for Rias."

"Ara, really? What for?" Akeno ask as she continues to hug the demon.

"Well you see last night I accidently summon that devil you're holding onto right now."

"I see." Akeno soon turns the devil and said, "Is what he said is true?"

"Yes, the fool did my lovely wife. Now lets go somewhere more private." the devil said to Akeno, causing her to blush.

"Ara ara. but I know so little of you?" Issei was seeing red and jumps onto the devil, causing it to fight back.

"Sould we stop them?" Yuuto said as a sweat drop froms on his head.

"Why should we? Its boys being boys." Akeno said as she sees both of them inflicting pain on each other, visibly turned on.

* * *

"Here we are. The Occult Research Club." Akeno aid to a bruised and scratched Issei, while he is carrying the devil in a similar condition, but being held in rope Akeno provided. Don't ask where she was keeping it. Its too early to abuse the M rating. It's an old warehouse that use to be part of the school. It shows signs of great age, and Ivy plants are growing all over the walls.

'This is the Occult Research Club? I guess even this school have cutbacks.' Issei thought to himself.

"This way please." Akeno said as she opens the door. What Issei was expecting a hallway, it was instead a stair way leading downward. This grabs his curiousity greatly, and the same time, his paranoia increase ten fold, telling him this is a bad idea.

At the end of the staircase is a large dark room, walls covered in red wallpaper, have elegant funiture and a white board covered in a pentagram, and they aren't alone. A small white haired first year girl with golden eyes and wearing a black cat barrette in her hair is sitting down, eating a sweet chocolate pastry.

"Let me introduce myself. I am Akeno Himejima, vice president of the Occult Research Club. You already know Yuuto Kiba, another member of our club." Akeno introduced.

"Nice to meet you Issei." Yuuto said as he bring out his hand to shake his. Issei grumbled, but shock it none the less.

"Same here" Issei said as he tightly grips Yuuto's hand.

"And our youngest member right there is Koneko Toujou." Yuuto said as he let's go of Issei's hand.

"I see. 'Of couse I know who she is! She is Koneko Toujou, the school's Mascot. Who doesn't know her. Ah man, I wish I could be that piece of chocolate right now.'" Issei receive a hateful glare from Koneko, as if she knows what he's thinking. He then later hears a shower running in another room. 'Who's showering right now?' Issei sees a faint outline of a curvy female figure. He could see how her hips form, how slim her waist is, and most important how large her breast are. 'Is that Rias in the shower? My god, this is my luckiest day ever!' Issei is grinning and drooling at the scene.

"Letcher." a quiet voice spoke up. Issei snaps out and see who said that. He saw Koneko turn her head a bit and he think he saw the cat barrette sticking it's tongue out.

"Akeno, can you help me dry off?"

"Of course Rias-sama." Akeno said as she enters the bathroom with a towel. Issei drools even more as he imagines a girl on girl action between Rias and Akeno, he barley notices the devil figiting in his ropes. Not long Rias comes out fully clothed and looks at Issei with interest.

"Hello Issei Hyouhou. You came here eariler then expected." Rias said as she sits down. A flash of black appeared between Rias's legs and Issei enjoys that moment.

"Yes Rias, I came here actually looking for you."

"Oh? For what may I ask?"

"For this actually." Issei was bringing the demon out only to see the rope broken. "What?"

"OH BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS OF HELL, NEXT HEIR TO THE THRONE OF SATAN, WHOSE BEAUTY KNOWS NO BOUND! PLEASE HELP THIS LOWLY SUBJECT OF YOUR KINGDOM RETURN HOME! OH MERCIFUL PRINCESS RIAS GREMORY OF HELL!" the little devil grovled before Rias feet. Issei is surprised on what that devil said, while Rias looks embarresd on how she is being treated.

"Princess of Hell?"

"Well I was going to tell you a little later, but..." soon Issei, Akeno, Yuuto and Koneko stood side by side, then behind them, black devil wings appear behind them. Issei fell backwards seeing this. 'They are devils, real ones.'

"As this demon spoiled, I am a devil, or more specifically, a princess of hell, and everyone here in our club are my servents, and they too are devils. Is that right?" Rias is pressing her foot down on the demon harder, making him squrm in pain. She soon change the her tone to mad to sweet and said, "So why are you looking for me?"

"Um, I was going to ask you if you could sent his devil home. I accidently summon him last night with the mirror trick. 'But I would of perfer if I summon you.' Issei imagines Rias naked afront of him pleading him to be gentle with her.

"Pervert." a quiet voice said. Issei tries to see who say that and again Koneko turns her head away and her barrette is sticking it's tongue.

"I see. I'll fulfill your request, but in exchange you will listen to my request. Deal?"

"Take the deal, take the deal!" the devil pleaded, only to be pressed more.

"Okay, okay I take the deal. Go easy on him." Issei said. Rias lifts her foot, and a magic circle appeared beneath the devil.

"Thank you human." the devil soon disappears and the circle vanish.

"With that out of the way, could you please sit down?" Rias gestures her hand to an empty seat and Issei follow suit, trying not to anger the devil princess. Rias return to her seat and smiles as if nothing happen.

"So what do you know about Sacred Gears?" She smile in a sensual manner, enticing Issei.

"Well, they are tools created by God, only humans with a incredible trait can posses them, they are highly desirable to both heaven and hell, and very few can be on par with God." Issei said with a goofy smile. Rias blinks in surprise.

"Oh. So you know then. 'Well there goes my speech.' Do you know what kind your gear is or does?"

"Well, all I know its those rare types, and its has something to do with dragons". Issei said. Rias head slumps down hoping to explain his gear more impressivly.

"Correct. Your gear is a Longinus type called Boosted Gear. As the name applies, it has the ability to temporaraily double one's attributes many times." Issei remembers the feeling of that power on the challenge, but his mind soon imagines every woman's breast doubling in size by his mere presence, all of them moaning in ecstasy. "Your gear is also known as 'The gauntlet of the Red Dragon Emperor'. Being based on a powerful red dragon. Now for my offer."

"Right." Issei face turn serious listening to Rias offer.

"What I am offering you is a chance to join my peerage, to be my servent." Issei is a bit confuse at this. He has the potential punch God in the face and she is offering him to be his servent.

"Okay, but what are the perks?" Rias was caught ungurded by Isssei's question. Most of her peerage join without much question and in their free will. In desperate situations sure, but in their freewill none the less.

"Hmm? Oh, um... you become a immortal devil, and can rise in rank to become a high lord, beside Satan of course, and you have servent's of your own later on." Issei almost immediately likes the idea of having a all female servent to serve his every whim. But something bothers him. 'Wait, how can I even become a devil, for the most part, human can become devils by...'

"Um Rias. How do I become a devil? I'm human." Issei said as he point at himself. Rias laugh nervously a bit. Issei has a bad feeling about it. "Well, you see, to change you into a devil all you have to do is stand inside a magic circle, place a evil piece onto your body and then you have to be experience a psedo-death." Issei stomach turns cold hearing that. "Soon as the rituals done you have become a devil."

"But, are there weaknesses of being a devil?" Rias cursed a bit. She having more trouble adding him to his peerage and her servants could tell.

"Well, yes. You get weak in sunlight, silver burns on contact, sacred or blessed objects or places burns more, and you will be enemies with two other factions." Issei cross his arm together thinking more.

"Lets say say if I did join, what will be my ranking?" Rias sweats a bit as she tries to concince him.

"Well you actually start as 'pawn.'"

"Pawn? Like the chess piece? Does everyone start out as pawn?"

"No, they are given a rank." Rias could tell he his having doubts. "But each piece rank has their own unique ability." Rias looks at her peerage pleading for help.

"Um, yes. You see I am ranked 'Knight' whose's special trait is high speed and moblilty." Yuuto Kiba explain his rank.

"My rank is 'Rook'. My traits are High offence and defence." Koneko said with little interest.

"My rank is 'Queen.' It has all the powers below it's ranking Issei." Akeno said while bending towards Issei.

"And my rank is 'King'. Think of it as a stronger version of 'Queen.'" Rias explain.

"Okay, but what about the Bishop, or pawn."

"Well, you see a bishop's special trait is the ability to perform magic efficently, while pawn is a jack of trades. It can adopt the traits of other pieces other than king. 'if you are in enemy territory or given permision from the king.' Rias said to the side. Issei is thinking hard about this.

'One the one hand, I can form my harem, achieving my dream, in the other I get literally get dragged into the eternal war for the cosmos, not to mention how will my parents will react to this. I could keep it a secret, but they will age normally, while I hardly age at all. But then again...'

"So what's your decision?" Rias is moving her leg impatiently. This is the first time she is having a hard time trying to convince someone to join her peerage.

"I'm still thinking. This is literaly a life changing decision. These things take time to think." Issei trys to calm her down, but not much effect.

"Come on. Please. I'll take good care of you." Rias is pouting a bit, and being cute with those watery puppy eyes. Issei almost fainted with a overload of cutness.

"Um... let me think about it for a day or two. Please Rias." Issei recovering from Rias's cuteness attack. Rias cheeks swell a bit, as she visibly disappointed that she get him today. "Fine, but I do expect a answer soon." Rias said as she points as him.

"I promise. I promise." Issei tries to calm her down, while the same time, is enjoying Rias's Tsundere personality.

"Good. I will keep you to that promise." Issei is glad to see Rias calm down. Yuuto guides Issei, much to his disappointment, outside as Rias, Akeno, and Koneko talk to each other.

"Hmph. I can't believe I didn't get him as my servent."

"Ara ara. You knew that this is going to be difficult. He actually has time to think about it." Akeno points out.

"I think he shouldn't join." Koneko said as she finishes her cake.

"Why shouldn't he?" Rias ask her.

"He's a lecterous pervert."

* * *

"ACHOO!" Issei sneezed violently as he leaves from class. "Huh? Is someone talking about me?" Issei brush that thought and returns to deep thought about Rias's offer. 'Man this is hard. Why can't things be easy? Maybe I should make a list and work my way there.' Issei train of thought gets interrupted when he bumps into someone.

"Hawa!"

"Ow!" Both Issei and the person are both on the floor. When Issei open his eyes, he sees something that only in heaven is aloud to see. Right afront of him is a young petit girl, with long blonde hair with ahoge on top of her head. Her cute appearance, combine with her emerald eyes made Issei think of one thing. 'She has to be an angel. No way a girl like her be human.' Issei then felt something land on his head. He retrieve it and sees it to be cute, pure white panties.

"EEK. Please don't look!" The girl said as she quickly gathers her spilled clothing and, for Issei, flashing her panties to him.

'WHITE' Issei is having a massive nose bleed.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I didn't see where I was going." the girl said as she packs her cloths back in.

"No no, its fine." Issei plug his bloody nose with tissure. "Here. Let me help you." Issei offer his hand to the girl and she accepts. "So what's your name?"

The girl smiles and said "Asia. Asia Argento."

* * *

Back to Issei's house

"Where is that boy? I have found a western exorism that will help him greatly." Cherry said as he finish his fifth whole watermelon. The Hyouhou family still thinks of him as more of a pig then a monk.

* * *

**AUTHOR NOTE: **Okay. This is my second chapter. I have receive a handful of constructive reviews. Many said that this story have potential. I say thank you for the confidence boost and your input for making this story more enjoyable.

P.S. Does any of you guys know a good english translated source for Highschool DxD beyond Season 2? The translated manga isn't that far, and Hulu only shows up to Season 2.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own neither Highschool DXD or Urusei Yatsura. They belong to their representative owners

* * *

[Lum No Love Song]

(A blank blue screen appears, then a heart with bats wings soon appear, drawing a star.[Song Start] Then the title appears, Issei freaking out and trying to hide from someone.)

**Those Obnoxious Demons**

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide_.(The screen soon change pink, showing Lum,freaking Issei out)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(Lum soon wags her finger as Issei runs around)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(Lum skips side to side, Issei ducking under the screen)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban_(The screen changes Lum's position revealing her tiger skin boots and bikini)

_Suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(Lum is shaking side to side excitement, while Issei was meeting Rias, Akeno as a shrine maiden, Asia as a nun)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(Lum is shaking side to side again, while Issei was seeing a strawberry blonde, a blunette, and a blonde magical girl)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(Lum is shakes side to side once more, Issei comically caught by the kendo clubs with is friends)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(Lum soon kiss Issei one the side, making him blush, but soon punched by Koneko)

_Hoshitachi ga kagayaku yofuke_( A UFO draws a heart pattern, soon reveal that Lum riding on top of it)

_Yumemiru no anata no subete._(Issei is dancing side to side, but Lum and Rias are side stepping towards him, causing him to shrink)

_Aishite mo anata wa shiramburi de._(The two maidens try to kiss him,but he soon leaning back soon join by the other girls surprising him' all of them step dancing)

_Imagoro wa dare ka ni muchuu._(Issei sneaking away with a smile on his face, but soon meets a baby on a floating potty, and breathed fire on him, looking quite charred)

_Aaaaaaaaaa otoko no hitotte. Ikutsu mo ai o motteiru no ne_( A tiger striped ship flys off screen, bat hearts moving across the screen,leaving pink neon streaks behind. The Urusei Yatsura cast running across the screen, red ribbons following them. The fish creature soon following them)

_Aaaaaaaaaa achikochi ni baramaite. Watashi o nayamaseru wa_( A tiger striped space fighter float off screen. The Highschool of DXD cast are flying upward with a hearts in the back ground. The fish creature tries to fly but soon falls, revealing Issei and Rias sitting on the moon together as lovers)

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide._(Lum soon appears on the opposite side, tilting the moon and sliding Issei towards her)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(Rias pushes down, tilting the moon back and sliding Issei towards her, Lum does the same thing, both aren't eager to share Issei. Issei himself looks a bit nervous being between the situation)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(Lum appears in pink once more wagging her finger, while Issei is running around)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban._(Lum is shaking side to side in excitement)

_Ichiban suki yo!_(Issei soon sits down, sighing)

* * *

Chapter 03: Saving a New Friend

"Asia Agento huh? What brings you here?" Issei said as he hands her veil.

"Well, I got transferred to this town's church?" Asia said as she put's on her veil, completing her look.

"The church?" Issei is trying to think what church shes talking about. 'Well there are shrines here, but churches? The only church I could think of is...'

"There is only one Church I could think of is that one." Issei points to the church on the other side of town. "But I don't see people coming or going to it. Most people think it's abandon."

"Really? But, how can this be? Did people lost faith in our lord?" Asia is quite upset and soon brings her cross and began her prayer. "Oh Lord in Heaven. Please don't forsake them for losing faith in you. Please forgive them. Amen." Issei could tell that she is upset about this.

"Hey, hey don't get upset. Remember. You're in Japan. God here just goes by a different name that's all. Look what if I walk you there and we will find out the truth alright?" Asia calms down and nods her head in agreement.

"Good. Now lets go." Issei offers his hand and Asia accepts it, letting her guide him to their destination. What they didn't know is that they are being watch. Not far, is a middle aged gentleman, wearing a violet trench coat and fedora and look mighty pissed.

"Damn it! Of all the people." He soon reaches inside his coat, and pulls out a cellphone and called someone. "Freed. We got a problem."

* * *

"WAAAAAAAH! MOMMY!" Not far from the two is a child with a injured knee bawling his eyes out. Asia immediately went to the child trying to cheer him up.

"Shh. There, there. Let me take care of it." Issei soon joins them and sees a green glow surrounding the boy's wound. Issei sees the wound healing rapidly and a pair of ethereal rings in Asia's hands. Suddenly, Issei's left hand pulse in pain.

'What was that?' Issei now sees the wound completely healed and the rings vanished. 'Could she...'

"There. All better." The boy soon stops crying, feeling that the pain stops. Asia smiles that she has done something good, and Issei also smiling too.

"Yoshi! Where have you been?" a woman suddenly appear holding onto the boy. Probably her mother.

"The lady over there healed me." The boy points to Asia and showing appreciation for her.

"I saw him fell down and he needed help. Its nothing really." Asia trying to dismiss it as if it was nothing. When Issei expecting a thank you from the woman, something else came out of her mouth.

"Yoshi. How many times I told you. Don't talk to strangers." The woman said with a dirty look at Asia, and quicly grabs the boy. Issei is shock at this. Asia looks like as if she seen that look before, many times.

"Thank you sis!" the boy said before he leaves, cheering up Asia a bit. Issei however...

"That xenophobic bitch. I can't believe she had that attitude even when you help her son."

"No its okay, it me being meddlesome again." Asia acts cute as if it was nothing, but looks forlorn soon after. "Besides. I'm used to be hated." Issei is surprise hearing this.

'Hated, but who in their right mind hate you?' Issei train of thought broke when he heard a small growling sound. Asia quickly blush, knowing that its her stomach that making that sound. "I guess your hungry from your long trip right?" Asia shakes her head as if in shame. Issei chuckles at this, but soon his stomach growls louder then Asia's did. His face is flush red as he is embarrasses of it. Asia giggles seeing Issei reaction. "I guess I'm hungry too. Say you wanna grab a bite to eat?"

"Yes I would like that." Asia smiles, and Issei feels warm inside, feeling a familiar sensation that only one person made him feel before. Issei coughs trying to rid of that sensation.

"Well, I know this one place that make great hamburgers. Wanna go there?"

"Yes I would like that, but what is a hamburger?" Asia said with a confused look.

* * *

Asia is scared. Before her is unfamiliar territory. Before her are things that defies everything that she knew all her life. Before her is a chesse burger, a side of french fries, a fizzy drink that she is unfamiliar with, and to make things worse, there are no eating utensils what so ever! Oh the Horror!

"Something wrong Asia?" Issei asks as he starts to dig in.

"Um, I don't see any utensils." Asia frantically searches for one.

"Asia. These are finger foods. You eat them like this." Issei demonstrates by taking a bite of his hamburger, with his hand, much to Asia's surprise.

"You mean I have to eat it like that?" Issei nods his head while chewing his food. "Please wait a moment. I need to wash my hands." Asia reaches inside her dress and pulls out a small bottle that is embroiled with a small cross.

'Is that Holy Water?' Issei question as Asia dab some on her hands and washing any dirt away. Asia soon looks around trying to find something. Issei reconized immediately on what Asia needs.

"Here. Use these." Issei hands her a few paper towels and she happy accepts. When Asia soon finish, her hands shine and her face lit with her smile. Asia soon place her hands together and starts to pray, thanking the Lord for the food. Issei thought he saw a pair cringing when Asia is praying. When she finish, she prepare herself for her first hamburger. Asia took a small bite out of it and her face lights up.

"Oh my gosh! It's so good!" Asia continually takes small bites out of her burger. Issei smiles as he sees her happier compared earlier and continues eating his. Soon as they are done, something caught Asia's eye. "What's that Issei?"

"That's a game center." Issei points out. Asia tilts her head in curiosity. "Wanna check it out?"

"Really?" Asia's face brightens in excitement.

"Really." Soon both Issei and Asia run towards it, while being followed by the previous pair, and a biker chick with a dangerous look in her.

* * *

"UWAH! ITS RATCHU-KUN! THERE SO MANY OF THEM!" Asia is glowing in happiness as she sees a claw game fill to the brim with black and yellow striped mouse, covered in lightening markings, in various sizes. Issei sees her and asks her something.

"Do you want one Asia?" As soon as she hears that, she withdraw in and pushes her fingers together.

"Well.. um.." Issei could see that this is the first time she wants something for her own self. Issei soon smiles at this and try to act cool in a dynamic pose.

"Don't worry Asia! I will win you one!" Asia looks astonish as Issei trys the claw game for her.

Ten minutes later, "Thank you Issei! I will take care of Ratchu-kun forever!" Asia hugs tightly to the large ratchu-kun doll as Issei cries a bit to his husk of a wallet.

'Half of my savings went to that doll. I guess its true. No good deed goes unpunished.' "If you want more, I could get you some." Issei scratches his cheek in embarrassment.

"There's no need. This Ratchu is the best present created today. Its our treasure of our encounter!" Asia smiles brightly and her ahoge bounces in her excitement. And Issei melts in her cuteness.

'UWOOAH! What a good girl Asia is! She got to be a angel. No way on earth she will go out with me.'

"Issei what that?" Asia points out a machine that Issei is all too familiar with.

"YOSH! THAT, MY GOOD ASIA, IS A DEVICE THAT IS BUILT FOR LOVERS! TO REMEMBER THEIR MEMORIAL TIME TOGETHER, THEY WILL PHOTOGRAPH A MOMENT OF HAPPINESS TO REMEMBER TOGETHER FOR ETERNITY!" Issei blood boils as he explains it to Asia.

"Lovers?" Asia flutters as Issei explains something extremely intimate to her. "But the only time lovers are together in a box are wedded and of old age." Issei soon realize on what he has done.

'Shit. I done it again. Blurting out useless information in the middle of our date. Wait? Did I say date?' Issei blushes at that remark.

"But, maybe we could take one as friends?" Asia said, hiding her blush behind Ratchu-kun. Issei smiles at that, but something interrupt this moment.

"Wow! What a cute costume!" a girl dress like Miku suddenly appear.

"Costume?" both Issei and Asia said in confusion. While Asia doesn't know what she is talking about, Issei knows why.

'Ah. She works at the cosplay store, but can you take pictures in costumes?'

"Oh oh I wanna where it next!" another girl in a sailor senshi asks. Not long, they both drag Asia behind the curtain and Issei heard some intimate things.

"Wow, you have such soft skin." "Your a real blonde? Man I'm so jealous." "I can't believe your so big. Your boyfriend must be lucky." "What! He isn't my... Kia! Don't touch there! No its to revealing!" When Asia comes out, she was dress as a nekomimi, wearing a tight white school uniform, revealing her C-Cup breast, her feminine hips, along with black stockings, creating 'absolute territory' between her short frilly skirt. Issei coughs up blood seeing this great transformation.

"Issei whats wrong?!" Asia said in worry.

"With this form, even the devil himself will fall in one look."

"No way!" Asia tries to cover herself, feeling shameful on wearing something so revealing. Issei could see that she is upset when she puffs her cheeks.

"If its about your outfit, we can ask for it back okay?" Asia's cheeks deflate and smiles with her blush on her face.

"Okay."

"Good. Now let's take that picture." Issei pushes Asia toward the photo booth as she flutters in defiance. When they got inside, Asia was too embarrass to notice the first shoot is taken. She relaxes as soon as the second photo is taken, then she tries for a cute pose on the rest of the photos. Soon both Issei and Asia went out on a date they didn't know they were having, forgetting what they were originally were doing. Not far from the game center is a sweets shop, and in the middle of it is a small Gothic-Lolita, eating her cake with a wicked cackle as she sees the two leaving together.

* * *

A few hours pass and it getting dark. Issei and Asia are in the park, relaxing as they are exhausted on today's fun and activities. They are sitting down, reminiscing on today's activities.

"Man, I can't believe we did all that." Issei sigh as he sits down on the bench.

"Me too. I have learn so much today." Asia said as she remembers all the things she experience on Japanese culture. She also remembers parts of town and stores that Issei lead away or block for some reason. She also learns of Issei's involvement in the competition. She admires his courage for protecting humanity and is surprise of his power he use to win. But she feel like she is forgetting something.

"Man, it already that late? I guess its time to go home." In that moment, something clicked inside Issei's and Asia's head. "AAAAHHHH! I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE CHURCH!" Issei screams in to the sky, clutching his head.

"OH LORD! PLEASE FORGIVE ME FROM STRAYING FROM THE PATH! PLEASE HELP THIS LOST SHEEP FIND HER WAY TO HER SHEPARD!" Asia is on her knees praying for forgiveness, clutching her cross hard. Issei groan in pain, breaking Asia's prayers. She sees grunting in pain, trying to rub the pain behind his head.

"Oh no your hurt."

"Nah, its nothing. We should be more concern for you." Issei waving it off, but Asia drags Issei back to the bench and place her hands on Issei's head. Soon, the rings appear once more and a warm glow envelops his head. The pain is disappearing to a point it wasn't there at the first place. Issei is greatly impress in Asia's power, and confirms his earlier suspicion. "That is a incredible gift Asia. Your sacred gear can help many people." Asia blushes at Issei's remark, but her face turn to sadness and regret.

"No Issei. Your power is a gift. You use it to save countless life from war against incredible odds, just like the heroes of old. Mine is a curse." Issei is surprise on what is he hearing.

"A curse? What do you mean?" Asia sits down next to him and begins to tell her story.

"On the day I was born, I was abandon a front of the orphanage." A image of a newborn baby crying on the steps of a building, in the middle of the night. "All my life, the church raise me and teach me all I know." An image of Asia and other children being teach and raise by the nun and father. "Until I turn eight is when I discover my power when I heal a puppy near death's door." An image of a bloodied puppy enveloped by Asia's power. "A child told the Father of our church of my gift and I was brought up a Saint, healing the weak and the wounded." A image of Asia being brought fourth everyone, the sick and wounded kissing her hand. "While I was thankful for God's gift, I felt isolated, alone when I was raise to sainthood." A image of Asia look out the church window, seeing children playing and enjoying life. "It's been that way forever, till one day I saw a man fatally wounded." A image of Asia seeing a dying man, pleading for her help. "I thought I was doing something good, but...,but" Asia begins to cry, tears falling out of her eyes. "But, it turns out to be a devil. A devil a exorcist was chasing after. Soon he slew the exorcist in cold blood, right a front of me." A image of the Devil gutting a man a front of Asia, her face full of horror and shock. "The people that worship me as a saint, soon call me a devil worshiper, a witch." Asia is wiping the tears away. "So I move church to church, hoping to find sanctuary. And maybe... and maybe..." Issei couldn't stand it anymore and hold Asia closely to him. Asia is surprise on this situation.

"Don't talk like that! Never talk like that!" Issei shouts.

"But, what I done..."

"It's wasn't your fault. You didn't know that he was a devil. No one taught you how to tell from one. The ones that excuse you, where hypocrites, people that will turn on you just to save their names."

"Issei..." Asia is being move by this. No one truly care about her until now.

"I have seen you who you really are. A kind hearted girl who will put others before herself." Asia soon feels warm inside Issei's embrace, and soon mimicking it. This feeling is alien to her, and she enjoys it. Not long they both hear a clapping sound behind them. Both soon sees a man, wearing priest clothing, have silver hair, and red eyes, filled with madness, and blood lust.

"Well, well, what do we have here? A lovely couple out on a evening stroll?"

"Asia, get behind me." Issei pushes Asia, much to her confusion.

"But why Issei? Isn't he a priest?"

"Yes, why you don't trust me 'Issei.'" The priest mock.

"It's your eyes. They give off something wrong." The priest face turn to a scowl and points at him like a child.

"Well your not so pretty yourself boy, but don't worry, you'll be worse!" The priest soon rushes toward him, pulling out a sword. Issei dodge the initial attack and kick the priest right in the face. The priest clutches his face in pain, dropping his weapon. What surprise Issei is the weapon the priest use is a light saber, a real light saber! The priest got back up looking at Issei in fury. "You, little BASTARD!" The priest pull out two short swords and swing them wildly. Issei barely dodges them, getting nicks now and again. Asia is afraid for Issei's life and shock to see a priest, a man of peace, attacking another man for reasons unknown. All the while the priest cackles wildly like a madman he is, enjoying inflicting each cut on Issei's body. Issei is getting tired of this and does something stupid. When the priest lunges one at Issei, he dodges the strike, nicking his chest, and grabbing both the priest's arms, locking them in place. The priest struggle and curse with every move he does, but Issei only collides his head against the priest again and again, until the priest falls onto the ground, struggling to get up. Issei isn't left unharmed in his attack. He has a large gash in his forehead, blood flowing out of it. He has trouble keeping his balance. "GOD DAMN YOU! I WILL KILL YOU, YOUR FAMILY AND THAT BITCH OF YOURS!" the priest curse as he tries to get his footing. Issei was forming a fist, trying to finish the priest off, but Asia said something.

"Issei, look out!", but it was too late. Three spears of light, each one a different shape and color, struck Issei down, one in his shoulder, another in his chest, and finally in his stomach. Issei felt incredible pain coursing though his body ass he fell to the ground, bleeding as three figure land before him, bearing black wings. A gentleman, a biker chick, and a Gothic Lolita, all of them holding a aura of death and madness.

"I can't believe you have trouble with this kid Freed." The gentleman spoke.

"Fuck you Dohnaseek! The little bastard is stronger then I thought. What took you guys so long." The now named Freed spoke in a childish manner.

"What. I gave you the situation. Is it really my fault that you can't handle one kid." Dohnaseek mockingly said.

"It is truly pathetic when a supposed exorcist can't handle a pathetic runt. Isn't that right Mittelt?" The bicker chick ask the lolita.

"Hahahaha, that right Kalawarner! The little ex-priest can't handle the boy toy on his own. He needs us to finish him, like the bug he is." The now named Mittelt said cutely as she skips to Issei's body. "Hey, are you dead yet?" Mittelt begins kick Issei, but soon surprise as Issei grabs her leg and begins to crush it. "AAAAAAAHHHHHH! LET GO! LET GO! LET GO YOU BASTARD!" Mittelt screams in pain, struggling to loosen Issei's grip. When he lets go, her leg shows visible signs of bruising and Mittlet summons her spear in fury. She was about to strike, but Asia jumps onto Issei body, protect him. Mittlet's spear stop mere inches from Asia, growling in frustration. "MOVE YOU BITCH! I HAVE TO MAKE THIS INSECT PAY FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE!"

"No, please leave him alone! He was only fought to protect me! Please, leave him be." Asia weep in sorrow as she sees Issei in a bloodied and broken form, struggling to stay alive. The fallen group tsks at this, knowing that they need her alive.

"Fine, but do expect us you to come with us." Freed said as he stands up. Asia begins to heal Issei's wound, but not fully. Freed grabs her roughly, pulling her away from Issei. Issei, while healed, still feels the pain of those spears piercing his body. Issei struggles to get up, only to see the group disappearing in a magic circle, Asia, while smiling, was crying and moving her mouth, Issei barely understanding her.

"Thank you Issei. Please take care of yourself." The she was gone.

Issei gets up, having trouble keeping his balance, walking towards where they were, looking for some sort of clue of where they are. Issei was about to fall to the ground, but someone grab hold of him, supporting him up. Issei turn to see it was Yuuto, with a smile on his face.

"I see you are okay Issei." Yuuto replies with a smile on his face. Issei is conflicted on this. While he naturally hates Yuuto with a passion, he is confuse on what he was doing here.

"What are you doing here?"

"Naturally making sure you make it home. Rias's orders. Right Koneko?" Koneko appears, eating a creme puff, nodding her head. Issei scowls a bit hearing this.

"If that's true, where were you when I was attack and Asia got kidnapped?" Yuuto smiles fades away and looks downward.

"I'm sorry Issei, but I couldn't help her or you." Issei grabs Yuuto by the collar in great fury.

"Why?! Why couldn't you help me, or save Asia for that matter!"

"Its because she is a member of the church, thus a member of Heaven. Same with those four. While those four are members of the fallen sect, they are still members of one of the three factions. If either Koneko or I face them, we may start another war, between all three factions." Yuuto said with some regret in his voice. While still angry, Issei can sense Yuuto's regret in not intervening.

"Then I guess I have to do something then." Issei let's go of Yuuto, limping towards an unknown destination.

"Where are you going?" Yuuto ask.

"I'm going to rescue Asia. You can follow if you want."

"But, I can't. If a devil enters enemy territory without reason, it will cause great conflict." Issei just turn around and smiles.

"Good thing I'm not a devil then." Issei soon starts running toward his unknown destination. Yuuto is surprise to see this but smiles soon after.

"Guess he do have some good qualities."

"I still think he is lecherous pervert." Koneko adding her two cents.

* * *

Deep inside a building, a strange ritual is occuring. Around the pentagram are men, covered in black hoods, chanting a forgotten language. The three fallen angels, Dohnaseek, Kalawarner, and Mittelt, near the center, they too chanting the same chant. And dead center, bound, gagged, and striped bare is Asia, crying and praying for Issei's safety, and hidden in her heart, hoping that Issei saves her. The pentagram begins to grow brightly, Asia groaning in pain and suffering as the chant goes faster. A green glow to emerge from Asia's breast, slowly forming the Twilight Healing Rings, Asia's sacred gear. The group's eyes widens as they see their goal within the reach, but something happen. A load crashing sound interrupts them, stopping the ritual and the Twilight Healing Rings disappearing. A guard falls down a flight of stairs, groaning in pain. On top of the flight of stairs is Issei, fist bloodied and mad as hell.

"You! How you find us!" Freed scream as he rips off his hood of, showing his shock and hate. Issei smiles at that as he remarks on Freed's words.

"Simple. Where else where a group fake priests and fallen angels hide. Inside an abandon church." While Freed growls at Issei's words, the three fallen angels smile wickedly, seeing a opportunity to finish him off.

"To see you up and well, let see if you put up a good fight." Donahseek cackles madly as he forms his purple light spear.

"I will enjoy breaking you as the insect you are." Kalawarner belittles him as she summons her yellow light spear.

"Hahahahaha. I am glad your up and well too. Now I can break and fix you over and over till you reduce to nothing." Mittelt giggles as she summons her red light spear.

Soon Freed, Dohnaseek, Kalawaner, and Mittelt rushes Issei, catching him off guard. Issei jumps back dodging the initial attack, but soon gets cut and slash left and right, not having enough time to dodge them. Issei fall to the ground, the group cackles madly, seeing that victory is within their grasps. The other monks comes up surrounding Issei, holding either 'light sabers' or siver spears aiming at Issei. One was holding onto Asia. He brought her up to either to show Asia that her hope is lost or for security measure. Asia look in fear and shock that Issei came for her, but he is beaten and on the ground.

"That the best you can do? Pathetic!" Donahseek stats as he stomps on Issei.

"Just I expect from a pathetic creature such as yourself." Kalawarner said as she kicks Issei across the face.

"Oh, broken so soon?" Mittelt stamps on Issei. Issei stuggles to get up, as the trio laughs at his attempts.

"Just give and die already you sorry sack of shit. You have nothing to stops us!" Freed giggles madly as he draws a pistol and Issei's head. Oddly for the group, Issei smiles at them.

"It maybe true that I am weak, and pathetic, but to come from the the mouth of a shitty priest, and shitter angels means nothing to me." The group growls at this and prepare to cut Issei down. "Besides, who said that I have nothing to stop you?" Issei growls as he lifts is left hand and a green glow emerges. The group soon are push back by the sudden power, blind to the sudden light.

_**DRAGON BOOSTER**_

When it dies down, the ex-priests and fallen angels looks at Issei in shock and horror. Right now on Issei's left hand is his red gauntlet, The Boosted Gear. "Now, let FIGHT!"

_**BOOST**_

Issei's gear announces as Issei feel power flowing in his body. Issei immediately punches Freed, flying towards a broken alter. The three angels panic and began to throw their spears at Issei.

_**BOOST**_

Issei felt the power growing more inside himself, and uses it to swat the spears away, rushing towards the angels, trying to finish them quickly. Issei slugs Mittelt across the face, sending her tumbling across the building. Issei then uppercuts Kalawarner, sending her to the though the window. Donahseek cackles madly as he sees a great battle before him.

"Yes, yes YES! THIS IS HOW A FIGHT SUPPOSE TO BE!" Donahseek rushes at Issei swinging his spear at Issei. Issei blocks most of his attacks, getting cuts on his arm and sides. Issei collides his fist to Donahseek's spear, breaking it to pieces. Before Donahseek reforms his spear, Issei swings at his left and right repeately, until Donahseek falls to the ground. Issei turns to the others and sees them all of them armed and ready to cut him down. Issei raises his arm once more, summoning more power.

_**BOOST**_

Issei rushes toward the group, nailing them in droves, all of them falling before they swing or lung their weapon. Issei didn't notice one bringing his 'light saber' down, but someone blocks it with a obsidian color sword, absorbing the blade into itself.

"Yuuto?" It was Yuuto who joins Issei's side.

"Sorry I was late. It was quite hard to enter church grounds, abandon or not." Yuuto swings his sword at the priests wounding them. "And I have a hard time convincing her to come."

"Who?" Issei's question was answer when many priests flew straight to the walls, Koneko wearing cat theme boxing gloves, making small huffs with each hit. Issei smiles at this and continues to fight the horde of priests, cutting them down quickly. Not long, all of them are laying on the ground groaning in pain, and shattered weapons litters the floor. Issei, Yuuto, and Koneko breaths heavily, but all of them satisfied on the outcome. Out of the turmoil, Asia, barely covered, gingerly walks towards Issei.

"Sorry for the mess Asia. They weren't the most hospitable host." Issei said, trying to look cool. Yuuto chuckles at this, and Koneko hmphs at it. Asia however was beginning to cry.

"Why, why did you come back?" Issei was confuse at this

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you come back for me?! Why for someone like me? Someone who you should care for at the first place. Why?" Asia begins to wipe her tears out of her eyes. Issei places his dragonic hand on Asia's head and smiles at her.

"What kind of friend would I be if I abandon you in your time of need." Asia face blushes as her chest tightens and beats fast. Asia once more feels this alien feeling appears once more. The mood was killed when Koneko punches Issei in the stomach, he is cringing in pain. "What was that for?" Issei stares at Koneko as he cries in pain.

"You were corrupting her to your lust." Koneko stats, Asia confuse on the statement and Issei groaning. Not long the group hears a trio of sounds, groaning and cursing. It was the three fallen angels, recover from Issei's attack, all of them staring at Issei in great fury.

"You little bastard. I can't believe you beat me." Donahseek said, his face bloodied and swollen.

"No way in hell I shall let a pathetic piece of shit like you beat me!" Kalawarner growling, nursing a broken jaw.

"You will pay dearly for what you have done." Mittelt said with a swollen black eye.

"You will PAY!" All three of them said as they rush towards the group on blind fury. Yuuto prepares this sword, Koneko takes her stances. Issei however,...

"Just give up already!"

_**EXPLOSION**_

Issei once more forms a small ball of energy, slowly growing in size and power, until it reaches peak and explodes towards the three. Donahseek, Kalawarner, and Mittelt looks in fear as the blast comes towards him, then it consumes them, and destroys a large part of the building. When it was over, most of the church was gone, Issei struggles to stay conscience. Issei falls backwords as his body fells like lead. Asia rushes toward's Issei in fear for his health. Yuuto and Koneko disappears when police sirens wails towards their location. Last thing Issei sees is Asia calling his name over and over again.

* * *

Issei wakes up in a medical tent, Asia crying into his lap. Issei places his hand on Asia's head and starts petting her, calming her down. Asia looks up and sees Issei up and conscious. She lungs at Issei crying in his chest.

"Issei! I thought I lost you!" Asia cries as Issei tries to remember what happen. Issei smiles and said "Hey Asia, heroes don't die, remember." Issei soon reaches inside his jacket and pulls out a all to familiar mouse. "You drop this Asia." Asia is surprise to see Issei carrying Ratchu-kun with him. Asia holds onto the plush toy and embrace Issei in happiness. Not far, is a greedy monk looking at the situation as he place sealing charms on the burned forms of the fallen angels.

"While a good deed you have done Issei, you are adding more strife in your life when a certain oni hears about this." Cherry shakes his head in pity and prays to Buddha for his safety.

* * *

On Planet Oni

Lum and Mister Invader are signing and sealing large stacks of paperwork, but it is taking a long time thanks to Lum's sudden moodswing today. One moment she is happy and chipper, next thing Mr. Invader knows she is shouting and lanching lightening bolt randomly, muttering words in jealous fury, balling in tears, wetting the papperwork then she is happy once more. Mr. Invader sighs in stress and turns on the news for a change of pace.

"And that was the sports section you worthless mongrols. What is new right now meat slave." A large headed, lizard like creature said to a beautiful humanoid.

"Well, as of international news, Issei Hyouhou, first person to defeat the Invader family, saves the day once more. Stay tune to our local reporter." The screen changes to the fish creature, holding a mike in it's flippers.

"Here today is another heroic deed to local hero Issei Hyouhou. Just now he has stop a large cult sect from sacraficing a lone girl today and by the looks of it, he single handly stops them with his bare fist. While one is unaccounted for, vast majority of the cult, later to be learned as former religious leaders, all been captured and imprison for many accounts. As for their three best fighter, are heavily wounded and sent to the hospital, where they will be on trial soon enough." Behind the fish creature is Issei being embrace by Asia. "By the looks of things, Issei is getting his reward for his heroic deed." A bolt of lightening stuck the screen fizziling it and explodes. "Hey! Don't shoot the messenger!"

Lum is shaking in fury seeing her fiance in the arms of another woman. "Darling, you have lots of explaining to do when I get back!"

* * *

Back home Issei feels a shiver down his spine, sensing that someone is planning to inflict pain and torment very soon.

* * *

**AUTHOR NOTE: **Sorry I took so long. Last week I finally got a job and it is taking a vast majority of my time. So what do you guys think? Too much, not enough? Please write down constructive criticism. Oh! and thank you for those who sent links for Highschool DxD light novel.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own neither Highschool DXD or Urusei Yatsura. They belong to their representative owners

* * *

[Lum No Love Song]

(A blank blue screen appears, then a heart with bats wings soon appear, drawing a star.[Song Start] Then the title appears, Issei freaking out and trying to hide from someone.)

**Those Obnoxious Demons**

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide_.(The screen soon change pink, showing Lum,freaking Issei out)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(Lum soon wags her finger as Issei runs around)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(Lum skips side to side, Issei ducking under the screen)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban_(The screen changes Lum's position revealing her tiger skin boots and bikini)

_Suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(Lum is shaking side to side excitement, while Issei was meeting Rias, Akeno as a shrine maiden, Asia as a nun)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(Lum is shaking side to side again, while Issei was seeing a strawberry blonde, a blunette, and a blonde magical girl)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(Lum is shakes side to side once more, Issei comically caught by the kendo clubs with is friends)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(Lum soon kiss Issei one the side, making him blush, but soon punched by Koneko)

_Hoshitachi ga kagayaku yofuke_( A UFO draws a heart pattern, soon reveal that Lum riding on top of it)

_Yumemiru no anata no subete._(Issei is dancing side to side, but Lum and Rias are side stepping towards him, causing him to shrink)

_Aishite mo anata wa shiramburi de._(The two maidens try to kiss him,but he soon leaning back soon join by the other girls surprising him, all of them step dancing)

_Imagoro wa dare ka ni muchuu._(Issei sneaking away with a smile on his face, but soon meets a baby on a floating potty, and breathed fire on him, looking quite charred)

_Aaaaaaaaaa otoko no hitotte. Ikutsu mo ai o motteiru no ne_( A tiger striped ship flys off screen, bat hearts moving across the screen,leaving pink neon streaks behind. The Urusei Yatsura cast running across the screen, red ribbons following them. The fish creature soon following them)

_Aaaaaaaaaa achikochi ni baramaite. Watashi o nayamaseru wa_( A tiger striped space fighter float off screen. The Highschool of DXD cast are flying upward with a hearts in the back ground. The fish creature tries to fly but soon falls, revealing Issei and Rias sitting on the moon together as lovers)

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide._(Lum soon appears on the opposite side, tilting the moon and sliding Issei towards her)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(Rias pushes down, tilting the moon back and sliding Issei towards her, Lum does the same thing, both aren't eager to share Issei. Issei himself looks a bit nervous being between the situation)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(Lum appears in pink once more wagging her finger, while Issei is running around)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban._(Lum is shaking side to side in excitement)

_Ichiban suki yo!_(Issei soon sits down, sighing)

* * *

Chapter 04: The Dream and the Return

A beautiful sunny day shines over a beautiful church. The bells are tolling, flower petals raining from the sky. A large group of people cheering in happiness, with hints of jealously and sorrow. To many, it is the beginning of a wedding ceremony, same to Issei, if only he knows what is going on!

"What the hell?" Issei is in a white tuxedo suit, all clean up and looking sharp as a groom.

"Rias-sama! You look so beautiful!" a random girl shouts in glee.

"Rias-sama, why are marrying that pervert!" another girl said while biting down on her handkerchief. Issei is more confuse then before. Him, marrying Rias? Him, a normal human, marrying Rias Gremory, a princess of hell? This can't be real.

"Issei, don't look around restlessly. The ceremony is about to start." Rias said while wearing a revealing wedding dress. Rias soon wraps her arm around his leading him to the church.

"HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN" "This must be a conspiracy of sort." Both Mastuda and Motohama curse Issei with tears streaming down their eyes.

"Issei! I want my first grandchild to be girl! Got it mister!" Mrs. Hyouhou shouts out.

"I can't believe it. What was a useless pervert of a son is now a man!" Mr. Hyouhou is wiping the tears of happiness and pride off his face. Before either one of them enters the building, someone screams loudly in outrage.

"DARLING! THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE OUR WEDDING DAY, NOT YOU WITH THAT SUCCUBUS!" It was Lum, with a face full of fury, her fangs fully revealed, while wearing a tiger skin wedding dress and veil. Rias glares darkly at Lum as her bat wings fully reveal.

"Issei is mine. Now step aside or else." A black ad red aura gathers around her, as power builds in her palms. Lum doesn't talk this lightly and she too builds power in her body. Not long, both brides begin to attack each other. Black fires destroying the earth, lightening striking everything it can, and Issei is in the middle of it.

"What is going on?!" Issei panics as he runs insde the safety of the church. Issei closes the doors and the room has gone dark. While Issei can hear all the explosions and screams, he couldn't see anything. Issei is feeling around, trying to find the light switch, or at least know where everything is. "Now where is that switch?" Issei soon feels something. "What this?" It's warm and soft to the touch, on top of it is something small and hard.

"Kia! Issei please be more gentle" Issei froze on the spot, recognizing the voice. Then the lights turn on, revealing it to be Asia, in a simple, but elegant wedding dress, and Issei is groping her.

"What?!" Issei backs away immediately in panic.

"Issei, please can you wait until we are wed." Asia pouts at Issei's earlier action, but smiles soon after. "At least we are now husband and wife."

"Husband and wife?!" Issei's head is releasing steam from his reddening face. Him and Asia? Husband and wife? Can it be true?

"LIKE HELL YOU WILL!" That train of thought was interrupted with both Rias and Lum, in tattered clothing looking mighty piss.

"HE'S THE ONE WHO PROPOSE TO ME!" Lum grabs Issei's left side selfishly.

"NO! HE IS GOING TO BE MY SPECIAL SERVANT! HE'S MINE!" Rias soon grabs on to Issei right,trying to wrestle him out of Lum's grasp.

"No! He is my hero, I'm going to be his wife!" Asia soon grabs into Issei's chest trying to free him from those two. While they were trying to take Issei for their own, they were rubbing their breasts on Issei's face, and he is smiling and bleeding as if he is the luckiest man alive.

'Is this Heaven or Hell? I don't care anymore!'

"_**Aren't you getting a bit aroused, shitty kid?**_"

"Huh?" Then everything turned black as soon as Issei heard that voice. "Where am I? What is this?"

"_**KUKUKUKU.**_" The stranger laughs at Issei's questions, piss him off.

"Where are you bastard!" Issei screams into the void, only to hear more laughter.

"_**Why right beside you of course.**_" From the void emerge a giant creature, a creature known for it's terrible greed and power. A creature forever known through out the world and maybe beyond. A Red European Dragon. Issei falls down in surprise and in fear seeing this mighty beast before him.

"_**It's about god damn time that we talk face to face. While still too weak to use my power fully, but you have enough strength for short visits time to time.**_"

"Why? Why are you trying to talk to me? For what purpose? Oh God, please don't tell me your going to eat me?" Issei starts to panic more, but the dragon laughs at that idea.

"_**Eat you? Ha! Not a chance, not when you look unappetizing.**_" The dragon speaks truthfully as he is seeing crying and dripping snot. "_**Any way, I am here to greet you, since we will get to know each other for every battle.**_"

"Battles? What battles?" Issei worries about this. He may won a few fights, but ongoing battles? The dragon begins to sink back to the void, giving Issei a few last words.

"_**You know what I mean by those words. You will fight, fight to the bitter end, until you fight our other.**_ _**See you soon kid.**_" The dragon soon disappears, but leaves Issei with more questions.

"Wait what are you..." Issei throws his hand forward to only see it mutated into a large dragonic arm, surprising and scaring Issei with great magnitude.

* * *

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" Issei screams greatly, his body cover in sweat,his breath short, and his eyes full of fear. Not long a series of foot steps comes racing towards his room, his door opens quickly to reveal a distress Asia, in a simple white sleeping gown, her face full of worry.

"Issei, what wrong?" Issei sees Asia face full of worry, he calms down and begins to explain.

"It's nothing Asia, it just a bad dream that's all. Please go back to bed." While Asia didn't buy into it full, she understand.

"Okay, I see you in the morning. Night Issei, may God bless you with good dream." She gently closes the door and begins to return back to her room. Issei feels a bit bad on how he treated Asia back there, but if he told her what he envisioned, she will be more worry then she already is. Seeing it being 3:35am, Issei tries to go back to sleep, hoping not to repeat what happen in his dream, mostly.

* * *

"YAWN." Issei yawns loudly, as he receive little sleep and, much to his disappointment, didn't pick up where he left off. Just some dream about flying or something.

"Can't sleep last night?" Asia said right next to him, while wearing a Kuoh Academy girls uniform. Its been a week since Asia started living in Issei's house. While fighting hordes of crazed monks and angels are one thing, convincing his parents of letting her live with him is a whole another league.

(Flashback)

Issei and Asia are sitting side by side, under the stares of both Mr. and Mrs. Hyouhou. At first, Issei's parents thought that they were picking up their injured son barely alive from his accouter, instead they see him up and well, being held by a barely decent blonde girl. They were frozen on the spot, same with Issei and Asia. Now here they are, wanting a explanation.

"So you want this girl, who we found with you earlier, barely decent, to live with us? Can you explain yourself Issei?" Mrs. Hyouhou said with a glare that can kill a man with ease. Issei is nervous under her gaze, making him wanting to face that horde again, instead of being under her gaze. Luckily for Issei, Asia comes in to save the day.

"Please don't be angry at him. It's really my fault. After spending the day with him and saving my life, I couldn't help it. Up until now, I had no friends, no one to look after me. Then he came, showing me kindness, showing me wonders I have never experience before." The Hyouhous look at Issei more intensely, causing to Issei to shrink more. "And when he got hurt, my heart was breaking. I that moment, I wished that we never met at the first place." Asia's eyes began to tear, the Hyouhou ease up, Issei looking at Asia with sadness. "When I was taken, I was hoping that Issei will forget about me, but he did came, ready to face those villains, and against incredible odds he save me. I felt so overwhelmed, I couldn't help it." Mrs. Hyouhou can tell that she is telling the truth. Despise his soon being a perverted fiend, he does have good points, and doing something without thinking first sometimes is his finer point.

"OH YOU POOR CHILD! TO FACE SUCH ODDS! THAT'S IT, YOU WILL LIVE IN OUR HOUSE!" Mr. Hyouhou baled.

"FATHER!" BAM

"What I mean is, despise his act of bravery, to keep you here in our house with our stupid lust incarnate of a son, we can't afford the new responsibility with him around." Mr. Hyouhou said with a large lump on his head, Mrs. Hyouhou nodding in agreement. Asia looks downward in grief, Issei drinking his tea, trying to think another way to convince them.

"I can't believe we are in this mess. If I had a time machine, I will go back and say to my past self 'Be wary of your son. He will save the world, but most of the time, he will be a useless son with smutty magazines hidden inside his play model box, inside his closet.'" Issei spits his tea in surprise, knowing that his mother knows his treasure trove, while she sighs in stress.

"Issei, what wrong?" Asia said in worry.

"(Cough,cough) It nothing Asia (Cough, cough) 'How the hell she found out about my hiding spot.'"

"Are you fine Issei?" Asia said as she wipes his mouth and he gladly accepts. The older Hyouhous notice Issei's change in behavior. He is not try any type on advances on her nor trying to 'accidentally' touch her anywhere. All he did was accepting Asia's gift and they look at each other like newly weds do. If this one girl change thier son on a single meeting, imagine what will happen if she does stay here.

"Asia-san! Even though he is useless, but can you take care of him?" Mr. Hyouhou said as he grabs Asia's hands.

"But's he is a wonderful person. He the one who offer me help when I first arrive, and offering me a place to stay." Asia said in a sweet smile. At that point the Hyouhous are convinced. Even if they reject her, she doesn't have anyone else to go to.

"It looks like we just have a new daughter today mother." Mr. Hyouhou said with tears trinkling off his face.

"It appear so father." Mrs. Hyouhou smiles in agreement. Asia is quite happy knowing that she has a place to live, and people that care for her. In either a form of imitation or cultural know-how, Asia sits on her knees and bows to them.

"Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Hyouhou. I may be inexperience, but I'll be under your care for now on." The Hyouhous smile seeing a foreign girl bowing to them, like a daughter-in-law.

"Okay Asia, as being part of being a woman of the Hyouhou house, you must know where the Hyouhou men keep their ecchi item hidden." Mrs. Hyouhou said in a smile. Issei starts to freak out, while Asia looks at her with a blush, confused look.

"MOM, WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TEACH HER SUCH THINGS!"

"Why, it part of bridal training of course." Issei blushes furiously, Asia also in her blunt remark.

'Is she trying to train her to be my wife?'

'Oh Lord in Heaven, is she giving us her blessing to wed?'

'What does she mean 'all Hyouhou men?' Asia doesn't need to know where we keep our collection dear. Half of it is yours.'

(Flashback over)

"I'm fine Asia. I'm more worried about you. Are you getting along with others?" One of Issei's worries that she may relive her pass life, no friends, constant rejections, dehumanization.

"Yep, everyone is nice to me! I made a lot of friends as well. I was invited to go shopping with them next time." Asia smiles brightly, warming Issei, knowing that she is fine.

"Good for you Asia." Issei pets her on her head and she enjoys it.

"Morning Asia-chan!" Mastuda shouts in vigor.

"Good morning Asia-chan." Motohama said.

"Oh, good morning Mastuda-san, Motohama-san." Asia said to the duo. While Issei is glad to see his friends, but something about them is off.

"Issei..." Mastuda said with hints of malice.

"Yeah?"

"Good... MORNING!" Mastuda punches Issei in the stomach hard, Issei's breath is knock out.

"(cough cough cough) WHAT... THE... HELL... BALDIE!" Issei wheeze with each breath with that sucker punch his friend gave him.

"Hahaha Issei. Don't play dumb. I've heard." Mastuda wraps his arm around Issei's shoulders.

"Heard about what?" At that moment, Motohama appears behind him, soon both emits a aura of rage and jealously, towards him.

"That you are walking with Asia, our new transfer student, everyday for a week, Why is that?" Mastuda said with a sneer.

"What about it?" Issei sweats at this. Its nothing really.

"Why is it that you guys are walking in the same general direction, side by side for the last week." Motohama said in the exact same sneer. Issei sighs at this and push them away from his face.

"Look guy, if you haven't been watching the news, I save Asia from a group of church rejects, earning her friendship. As for why we always walk together, Asia and I are living together. Right Asia?"

"Yes. I'm staying at Issei's house." Asia smiles warmly answering that. Mastuda and Motohama face are in shock and horror.

"Does that mean Asia-chan wakes him up every morning?" Mastuda imagines Asia giving Issei good morning kisses. Issei smiles at this, knowing what Mastuda is thinking.

"Yes, it true. Asia woke me up today, isn't that right."

"That's because Issei is such a sleepyhead. Right hehehe." Asia giggles in delight, causing Mastuda to fall into despair, cloud and all.

"Does that also mean you also serve him rice too?" Motohama imagining Asia kissing a grain off rice off Issei's cheek.

"Well, mom does praise Asia for her thoughtfulness. Right Asia?" Issei is milking the situation even more so.

"Hwah, its so embarrassing." Asia sways side to side, trying to hide her embarrassment. Not long Motohama is with Mastuda, same depression, same cloud.

"Issei, you bastard! Not only you had a girlfriend, and a proto-yandere, but now a angel is living with you!" Mastuda said with jealous fury.

"What next? The academy idols want you. If that happens, hell will freeze over." Motohama shakes his head in disbelief.

"Issei, good morning." Akeno skips to Issei's side with a smile. "How have you been?"

"Fine Akeno-san, why you ask?"

"Just curious. You know you still didn't Rias-sama your answer. She getting impatient you know." Akeno said, trying to sound upset. Issei rubs the back of his head in embarrassment. He actually forgot about that for a while, but Akeno comes up, to remind him every now and again, and they begin to enjoy each other's company. Of course what strays Issei from Rias is a certain petite blonde.

"Itai..." Issei wince a bit when Asia pinches his arm, puffing her cheeks in jealousy.

"Come on Issei, class is about to start." Asia said, with her cheeks still puff up.

"Right, nice to see you Akeno-san." Issei said as he waves goodbye, Akeno waving back. While they are saying goodbye, Mastuda and Motohama are frozen on the spot, just found out that the Academy idols do want him, and somewhere in hell, a snow day is happening.

* * *

"Come on Asia, what's wrong."

"There is nothing wrong." It was during lunch time and Issei follows her, trying to see what is wrong. Asia's jealous reaction is a bit obvious to most people, sadly Issei isn't one of them.

"Come on Asia. You been acting like this all day. Could you at least tell me what been bugging you." Issei said in worry. Asia just huff and walks away. Issei sighs at this.

'I guess, I have to try again when we get back.' Issei begins to walk outside of school, heard that a new beef bowl place just open. Not long, a mysterious group jumps on him, gagging and bagging him. Taking him someplace unknown.

* * *

Asia sighs as she continues to eat her lunch. Normally she is glad to be with Issei. To her, the week being with him is the best she could remember, but everytime Akeno or Rias comes by, she could help but feel jealous, and a bit fearful. Whatever Rias whats with Issei, Asia got a horrible feeling that she will lose him.

"Marriage problems Asia?" Asia jumps in surprise thanks to her words. Right next to her is a girl who is a inch or two taller, with light brown hair, style with bangs covering her eyes, twin pig tails, large pink glasses, and a similar figure to Asia's. This girl is Asia's new best friend, Aika Kiryuu.

"Aika, wh..wh..what do you mean marriage problems? Me and Issei aren't have any kind of problems." Aika smiles seeing her reaction. Its no secret that Asia have feelings for Issei. Besides her lovey dovey attention to Issei, is her cute jealous reaction when he is talking to a girl.

"You know what I mean. Normally, during lunchtime, you feed Issei your homemade lunch with hearts floating around your head, but if a beautiful girl talks to her, like Akeno-sensei, you huff away and eat by yourself looking gloomy." Asia head slumps down, Akia hitting right on the mark. "You know there is a way to improve your relationship with Issei, and make him loyal to you."

"Really?" Asia's ahoge bounces in excitement, showing Asia's wanting to know the secret. Akia's glasses glen, knowing that thing will be more interesting at the Hyouhou house.

"It's an old technique called 'Skinship.'" Akia whispers into her ears, and Asia blushes to this.

"Skinship is a old technique that is common in bath houses."

"Bathhouses?"

"Yes. While normally it is something women do, complimenting about their skin or figure, if a woman does it with a man she loves,..."

"Loves?" Steam began to pour out of her head. Akia goes for the kill and whispers the rest of the details into her ear, Asia pants rapidly, her face bright pink, till her head erupts with steam.

"Akia! I can't do that! If I did that, I may have..., we will be..." Asia soon imagines Issei coming home from work, herself greeting him, while their child runs towards him, smiling with glee, and herself bearing a large, fertile stomach, looking like she is ready for birth. Asia is lost in her fantasy, and Akia smiles seeing her like this, but something caught her attention. A large group of men are dragging someone.

"Hey, Asia?" Asia soon snaps out of her fantasy, drooling a bit.

"Hmm?"

"Who are they, and why are they dragging your boyfriend away?"

"What?!" Asia rushes to the window and seeing what Akia is saying. She sees Issei, tied in rope, gagged, and being dragged away. Asia is shock and scared seeing her savior being kidnapped. Not long she begin to run and try to catch up to the group. While Asia panics over Issei, Akia is thinking a bit.

'Where have I seen those uniforms before?'

* * *

The scene changes to what appears to be a normal High school. White school building, a gate, a clock tower in the center of the building, nothing special about it at first glance. But in truth, it is Kuoh Academy's rival, Tomobiki High. While Kuoh Academy is known for it elitism, Tomobiki High is a school known for it's eccentric curriculum. It is know to push students limit's, both physically and mentally, to increase the student body's grades. Last summer, they did a water sport activity that have traps, ditch falls, and teachers attacking them on sight. The prize, a whole summer of no homework, starting the next year with As, and for some reason, a kiss from the principal. The loser, three years worth of homework, that must be completed before the next semester. Not surprisingly, vast majority of the school lost, and the winner refuse the prize. Do you want a kiss from a middle age balding man? Anyway, in a secluded dark room inside the clock tower, the same group that kidnapped Issei are watching a movie reel. On it is clips of Lum, prancing, jumping and enjoying her time in the competition. While the group are drooling and leering at the movie, Issei is groaning in pain.

'Where am I?' Issei sees a poorly painted sign with a smiling Oni girl on it. 'Lum fan club? What is going on?' The movie ends with Issei being shocked bt Lum, and the light's turn on.

"That, my dear comrades, is all the data we had on our beloved Lum. Our precious Lum has fallen, most unexpectedly for that scum Issei Hyouhou, and its been over a week since she left for home planet, to obtain her Alien Registeration Permit." A specticle wearing leader said in bravado. He then turns to his comrades, male teens in various shapes and sizes. "We, who can no longer endure Lum's absence, hereby announce the establishment of 'The Committee to Bring Lum Back to Earth' and would like to begin procedure to bring her back as soon as possible." The group cheers in agreement. Then a light shines on Issei's battered, chain bound body. "And here is the very scum that will bring our beloved Lum back, who try to flee the country, but our men catches him in time: Issei Hyouhou." Issei looks up and see the group afront of him. Before him is a four men, the spectle leader, a thick grunt, a pomador muscle man, and a weasley pipsqueak.

"So you kidnap me, bound me, drag me, and imprison me for a girl? Do you know how stupid it that is?" Issei growls in frustration. "And besides, I wasn't even leaving the country stupid! I was going out to lunch!"

"Shut up! We don't care what it takes, as long as we get lum back!" The leader sneers as the introduce another member. "Today, we invited a member of the Torture Research Club to join us." Out of the shadow emerge a large grosstest man, bareing a large overbite, a bald head, a large forehead, heavily muscled, carrying a whip, and wearing a one piece tights and cape. Issei doesn't know he should be afraid or throw up. "If you want to cooperate, now is the time." Issei was silent for the moment, but then laugh at this.

"Do you really think using me as bait will bring Lum back faster? Sorry, but beuacrasy is always like to take their time. Besides, what makes you think what you will do to harm me. I was stabbed by light lances through my torso, and electricuted by Lum, what you do will hurt, but its going to be nothing compared on what I experience!" Just then the latch opens up, to reveal a worried Asia, capturing the other's attension.

"Issei!"

"Asia!" Asia was running towards Issei, but the tortore member grabs Asia's arms roughly making Asia squek in fright. Issei jumps in anger, seeing her being hold by this baboon. "ASIA!" Issei is trying to break his chains, while the leader comes towards him.

"Look, Issei, we don't want violance, see. So what do you say? Help us and you will..." The leader whispers into Issei's ears and Issei begins to drool abit.

"So, in exchange for helping you, you will cheat on my exams, and you will introduce me to some hot chicks from another school? Where?" The leader smiles, thinking that he recruts him to his side.

"Why, Kuoh Academy, of course. A holy ground of beautiful women from all corners from the world." Issei stops drooling as soon as he said that.

"But I'm a student there." The leader froze at the spot and look at the three others.

"Why didn't you tell me he is a Kuoh Academy student!"

"Sorry. We just found him outside the Acaemy. We though he as checking out the girls there." The group explain. The leader then looks at Issei, seeing him still trying to break him chains in vain.

"I guess we have no choice then." The group smiles at Issei darkly, preparing to do God's know what.

* * *

Just outside the clock tower is the Lum fan club, Torture research member included, Asia is tied in rope, placed in a corner, and Issei, still chain bound and hanging in the air.

"Put me down! Put me down you bastards!" Issei screams in frustration. The leader laughs in delight.

"Thats right! Scream to the heavens so Lum can hear you!" The leader turns to the group showing them it is time. "Now my comrades, it is time to hail the UFO."

"Right!" The group forms a circle, holding hands, and began to chant.

"Ventura, Ventura, Space People! Ventura, Ventura, Space People! Ventura, Ventura, Space People! Ventura, Ventura, Space People!" As they continue to chant, Issei is struggling more and more, trying to free himself and soon Asia too.

"When I get out here, I will blast you so hard, you ansestors will feel it. What you are doing won't summon a space ship, of anykind." That is proven wrong when a storm appears, the epicenter above them. Appond seeing this, the members get more excited, and began to chant louder and faster. As the strom gets more intence, they chant louder and faster. At the storm's peak, a tear in space and time opens up, reavealing a large spaceship.

"What the Hell!?" Issei couldn't believe that they actually summon a spaceship, and the fan club cheers as they think they summon Lum, but soon realise something.

"Hey, wait! That's not Lum's ship!" the weasley member replise. The members are looking nervous, looking towards their leader for answers.

"Wh..wh..what are you looking at me for? I didn't expect something like this to happen."

"You IDIOT! You were praying and chanting for a UFO to appear! Not Lum to appear!" Issei's ranting is interupted when he, Asia and the fan club begins to float up. The UFO, the one that they summon, begins to abducts them inside it.

* * *

The group falls onto a floor raggedly, except for Asia who landed on top of them. They are in a dark room, everything is barely visible, but all too visible is the creature who is piloting the spacecraft. It's appearance is that of a slug, wearing nothing but a cap and a eyepatch, covering it's left eye.

"A Alien!" The fan club screams in fear. The creature smiles and pulls a lever, and everyone falls backward, falling painfully, expect for Asia, who landed on top of Issei, in a sugestive position. Issei and Asia blushes at this, and soon separate from each other.

"What will it do with us?" The thick member asks in fear.

"Maybe he is taking us back to his home planet, to be use as live test experiments, killing us in the process." The specticle leader said in fright. Issei have enough of this.

_**DRAGON BOOSTER**_

Issei's gauntlet appears and Issei begins to push the chains, hearing small creaks.

_**BOOST**_

The chains creaks even more, the cockpit making a beeping sound as it goes faster.

_**BOOST**_

The chains breaks under the stress, the fan club jumps in fear, thinking of what will Issei will do to them, but he just went for Asia, breaking her ropes, examing any wounds or markings left on her body.

"You okay Asia? Your not hurt ot anything?"

"Little sore, but fine." Issei smiles seeing her fine, but turns to the fan club, emitting malice towards them.

"You know I have a fear, a fear that something bad will happen to Asia. Just now, you kidnap her, tied her down, and thanks to your halfbaked plan of your, she was upducted by a alien to Gods know where! You know what I'm about to do?" The fan club shakes their head in fear. Issei cracks his knuckles, showing a mad smiles towards them, raising his armored fist towards them. "Well your about to find..." the UFO stops to a complete stop, Issei lost his balance falling backwards into the opening. Issei landed painfully to the ground and sees afront of him is a large fortress, standing in the middle of a barren wasteland. Issei is afraid on what kind of people the aliens are. Not long, the others landed on him, Issei groans in pain for each one landing on him. The alien soon follows, with something in it's hand.

"'So here we are. So would you pay in cash or credit?'" The group stares at the alien confusedly. The alien takes something out of what the group presume to be it's ear. It then took a screwdriver and give the device a few twists, and puts it back in it's ear. "Sorry about that. This univeral translater has a loss wire. Man the stories that I could tell you on how much trouble this thing gets me into time to time. Anyway, we arrive at your desired destination." The alien points to the fortress. "Planet Oni's capital fortress, home to the Invader family."

"WHAT?! You mean that we're at Lum's House?" The fan club screams in joy and began to dance in celebration. The alien goes to Issei with the devise still in its hand.

"Okay since they're out of their gourd, you will pay for the fair."

"Fare?!" Issei said in surprise.

"Yes. The Taxi fair. I'm a galatic space taxi driver. I was on my home, but I got this strong telepathic signal coming from you guys, destination and all. I thought that I just finish this one trip and be done for the day."

"Right, hold on a second." Issei goes to the fan club, still dancing, and hits them once on the head.

"You bastard! What is that for?!" The leader shouts in anger.

"I need you to chip in. You guys called a cab and I need you guy to chip in for the tab." The fan club grumbles at this but all agree to this. "So how much, is it?" Issei said as he brings out his wallet.

"Let see? Interdimentional highway, space-time express, fuel, minus student discount... That will be 10.25 mega credits, roughly all your world's oil, precious metals, rare jewels, and natural resources." The group looks in shock. This creature wants the everything valuable and vital on earth, and he treats it as if it's chump change.

"WHAT! YOU DO KNOW THAT WE DON'T CARRY THAT KIND OF MONEY DO YOU?!" Issei screams in fury, surprising the alien, but his face also turns to fury.

"What? You what me to give you a free ride?! You better think twice on cheating a member of the Inter-Planatary Taxi Drivers Union, Local 68." The alien threaten, but Asia comes by with sadden eyes.

"Please kind sir. No one here or back at earth have that kind of riches. Is there anyway else we can pay for it?" Asia said with watery puppy dog eyes. The alien's anger simmer down a bit and looks to the group.

"Normally we accept cuurency or something of equal value, but we can also accept energy to pay off their fares. And that guy seems to have a nice amout there." The alien point's to Issei. Issei blinks in confusion, but realize what he means.

"What you mean my Sacred Gear?" The alien and fan club looks at him weirdly.

"Sacred Gear? I don't know what you're talking about, but according to my radar, you have 8.50 mega credicts worth of energy."

"So how much is 1.75 mega credits?" Issei said in curiousity.

"All you planet's currency, plus tax." The Alien said with a smile. Issei tries to control himself from killing this alien in fury.

_**BOOST**_

"And now?" The alien scans again and smiles greatly.

"14.98 mega credits. How very generous of you kind sir." The devise then release small suction cups, latches onto Issei and begin to drain his stored energy.

"So how long will this take?"

"Normally twenty to thirty minutes, unless you have a faster method." Issei chuckles at this, remembering himself blowing up half the church.

"Not causing damage hehehe." The alien nods and continues draining energy. While that happens, the fan club runs swiftly to the large gated fortress, and begins banging it.

"LUM PLEASE COME ON OUT! WE CAN'T TAKE IT MUCH LONGER WITHOUT YOU!" Not long the gate cracks open to bring out a scrawny Oni guard, looking fiercely at the group.

"What do you want?!" The guard screams in annoyance.

"We, of the Lum fan club of Earth, demand to see Lum immediately." The guard sighs in stress hearing their 'demands'.

"Great, more fans. Please wait a second." The guard closes the door and the fan club jumps in excitement. Meanwhile, in a control room.

"So more of my fans come to visit?" Lum said in a bored expression. Since she return home, she begins to file, sign, and comfirm her Alien Registeration Form, she was bored out of her mind and misses her darling Issei greatly. Luckly for her she is done a few minutes ago and trying to rest.

"Yes princess. Should I do the usual?"

"Yes, yes. Quickly if you can, I must prepare for earth were my darling Issei waits for me." The guard nods and begin to press a series of buttons. Above the planet is a tiger striped weaponized satilite. It begins to target the group, sending a image to the control group.

"Ten seconds till ready. 10, 09. 08, 07, 06,..." Lum watches the screen, seeing the fan club waiting impaciently for her, she then sees a small group apart from her admiers. "05, 04, 03.." She sees a taxi driver, which explains the latest batch of fans, a small blonde human girl for some reason irks her, and...

"DARLING!" Lums eyes lit up with happiness. She couldn't believe her luck, after a week of waiting, her fiance comes to her in a surprise visit. But then she remembers something.

"02, 01, 00. Ready to fire." The guard is about to press the launch command button, but Lum screams in fear.

"STOP! MY FIANCE IS OUT THERE!"

"Huh?" The guard stops midway, and Lum pushes him away. She frantically press the cancellation command and the program stops. She breathes with relief, but she soons jumps in joy and begins flying outside to her fiance. Just outside while the fan club waits impaciently, Issei, looking weak, is sitting down and Asia trying to confort him.

"Ding!" The devise completes draining Issei's energy and his Boosted Gear disappears. Issei feels like his body is lead again and lays on the ground."And done. I thank you for your business and supporting your local union." The alien goes back to his ship and leaves them on the planet. It wasn't so bad. Issei's body may feel like lead, and they're maybe stranded on a alien planet, but he is getting a lap pillow from Asia. 'Well, at least things can't get worse.' He is wrong.

"Darling!"

"Darling?" Asia and the fan club said in confusion. Out of nowhere, Lum lands on Issei and clings to him tightly.

"Darling! I can't believe you came all the way to see me-icha." As Lum clings to a tired Issei, Asia couldn't help but to feel jealous seeing this. The most vocal is, not surprising, the fan club.

"LUM! WHY ARE WITH HIM!" "HE A COMPLETE LOSER, NOT WORTY OF YOU!" "WHAT HE HAS THAT WE DON'T!" Not long they burst into tears, seeing their idol with Issei.

"So Lum, I hate to be like this, but can you give us a ride home? I don't think I have enough energy for another cab." Issei asks and Lum nods all to quickly.

"Of course I will darling. I will drop off you and your friends, then we will start living together as married couples do-icha." Issei smiles at this, but notice Asia trembling wear she stands.

"Something wrong Asia?"

"I guess its no surprise. She has long beautiful hair, a attractive figure, and large breast. Of course you will fall in love in her." Asia begins to cry, breaking Issei's heart.

"No, Asia its not like that."

"Oh Lord in Heaven, please forgive me for having a sinnful mind and heart!" Asia sniffles in grief, showing obvious signs of heartbroke. Issei walks towards her and embrase behind her.

"Asia, you done nothing wrong. Your a good girl, and always will be." Asia, while still crying, felt a bit better, Lum however...

"Wait a moment, I remember you now! Your that woman who was clinging Issei like a desperate girl!" Ironic for Lum. She then turns to Issei, electricity jumping off her body. "What is her relationship to you DARLING!" Lum launches a lightening bolt at Issei, his body jerking essentricly. Lum clings to Issei, electricity still coursing through her, and shakes him furiously. "WHO IS SHE, WHY ARE YOU WITH HER, AND WHY YOU CHEAT ON ME?!" Lum begin to cry, thinking her fiance is cheating on her. Asia still sees Issei's body still spazzing under Lum's power, begin's to worry about Issei's health.

"Please stop!" Lum stares greatly at Asia.

"What do you want homewreaker!"

"Please stop! I think Issei can't handle more of your power!" Asia said in worry.

"Darling?" Lum stops her electric attack to only to see a blacken Issei, barely concious. Lum begins to tear up once more and hugs Issei tightly let electricity course though him once more. "DARLING, PLEASE DON'T DIE! WHAAAH!"

* * *

"So that your story then?" Lum said to Issei and Asia back home. The Hyouhou family nods to this. As soon as Issei and the others return to Earth, Lum goes straight to the Hyouhou residence, demanding answers. So while Asia heals Issei, he began telling his story of Asia and the fallen angels. Lum growls to this.

"Fine, I will except the idea of you staying here,..." Issei sighs in relief. "but that doesn't mean I like it." Lum grabs onto Issei tightly staring at Asia in malice. "I don't care that darling saves you, he is my husband and there is nothing you can't do about it!" Asia get mad, which is cute, stands afront of Lum.

"When did you married one another?" Lum stares blankly her.

"What do you mean?"

"If its true that you are husband and wife, when did you married one another?" Lum looks a bit nervous.

"We um... have not married yet, but we will soon enough." Asia sits next to Issei, wondering what she is doing.

"Until you and Issei and truely husband and wife, he still have the freedom of choosing someone else." Asia gently grabs onto Issei, placing his head on her breast and he enjoys it. Lum is furious seeing this and grabs Issei's head, placing it between her breast, getting the same reaction. Not long both women are pulling and tugging Issei like rope, Issei feeling he is going to be split in two.

'I don't know if I should be scared or happy that they are fighting for me?' Issei thought as he is crying and drooling in the situation. The older Hyuohous sighs at this.

"There is our perverted son of ours. It looks like we have another daughter today mother." Mr. Hyouhou said. Mrs. Hyouhou nods to this and stands.

"Alright girls thats enough. If you want to stay in this house, you both have to get along." The two girls stop pulling on Issei, looking at each other with jealous fury. They let go of Issei, much to his disappointment, and sits down, both puffing their cheecks. "Good, now that both of you settle down, you both now train the ways of being Hyouhou women." Issei blushes at this, knowing what his mother means.

"Mom! It's bad enough you teaching Asia strange things, but your going to teach Lum strange things too?!" Lum looks confused at this.

"What does darling mean by that?"

"A woman of the Hyouhou house must know skills and techniques that helps the family and keeps it healthy and happy."

"Hmm, I don't what darling is scared about, but I will like to learn it." Issei grimace from this.

"Okay, like Asia here and all women of the Hyouhou house, you must know where the Hyouhou men stash their smutty materials." Issei faces flushes red, so do Asia, remembering Issei's magazine.

"Don't worry mother, with me around, Issei won't be needing those filthy magazines." Lum draws in closer to Issei, embrasing him. "As husband and wife, all his desires will be for me-icha." Lum said with a smile. Asia get jealous once more and grabs Issei's other side.

"No, only I can cleanse his sinful heart." Lum gets irked at this. She grabs Issei and place him on her breast.

"No I will!" Asia shakes in jealous fury and grabs Issei and again places Issei on her breast.

"No I will." Lum's fangs are reveal in anger.

"No, me!"

"Me."

"Me!"

"Me."

"Me!" Issei nose is bleeding, thinking his harem dream is one step closer to coming true. The older Hyouhous sighs, knowing that this will be a common occurance in this house.

* * *

At the Gremory mansion in hell... Rias Gremory haves a funny feeling that she has a new rival today.

* * *

**AUTHOR NOTE: **Another chapter done, more overtime at work. Well at least this is my last day. Happy Easter everyone.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own neither Highschool DXD or Urusei Yatsura. They belong to their representative owners

* * *

[Lum No Love Song]

(A blank blue screen appears, then a heart with bats wings soon appear, drawing a star.[Song Start] Then the title appears, Issei freaking out and trying to hide from someone.)

**Those Obnoxious Demons**

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide_.(The screen soon change pink, showing Lum,freaking Issei out)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(Lum soon wags her finger as Issei runs around)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(Lum skips side to side, Issei ducking under the screen)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban_(The screen changes Lum's position revealing her tiger skin boots and bikini)

_Suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(Lum is shaking side to side excitement, while Issei was meeting Rias, Akeno as a shrine maiden, Asia as a nun)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(Lum is shaking side to side again, while Issei was seeing a strawberry blonde, a blunette, and a blonde magical girl)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(Lum is shakes side to side once more, Issei comically caught by the kendo clubs with is friends)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(Lum soon kiss Issei one the side, making him blush, but soon punched by Koneko)

_Hoshitachi ga kagayaku yofuke_( A UFO draws a heart pattern, soon reveal that Lum riding on top of it)

_Yumemiru no anata no subete._(Issei is dancing side to side, but Lum and Rias are side stepping towards him, causing him to shrink)

_Aishite mo anata wa shiramburi de._(The two maidens try to kiss him,but he soon duck. Issei leaning back soon join by the other girls surprising him, all of them step dancing)

_Imagoro wa dare ka ni muchuu._(Issei sneaking away with a smile on his face, but soon meets a baby on a floating potty, and breathed fire on him, looking quite charred)

_Aaaaaaaaaa otoko no hitotte. Ikutsu mo ai o motteiru no ne_( A tiger striped ship flys off screen, bat hearts moving across the screen, leaving pink neon streaks behind. The Urusei Yatsura cast running across the screen, red ribbons following them. The fish creature soon following them)

_Aaaaaaaaaa achikochi ni baramaite. Watashi o nayamaseru wa_( A tiger striped space fighter float off screen. The Highschool of DXD cast are flying upward with a hearts in the back ground. The fish creature tries to fly but soon falls, revealing Issei and Rias sitting on the moon together as lovers)

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide._(Lum soon appears on the opposite side, tilting the moon and sliding Issei towards her)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(Rias pushes down, tilting the moon back and sliding Issei towards her, Lum does the same thing, both aren't eager to share Issei. Issei himself looks a bit nervous being between the situation)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(Lum appears in pink once more wagging her finger, while Issei is running around)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban._(Lum is shaking side to side in excitement)

_Ichiban suki yo!_(Issei soon sits down, sighing)

* * *

Chapter 05A: The Arrival of the Mature Beauty

Our story starts in a normal looking, but shady part of town, wives are buying the freshest vegetable on sale, while a group of burly men are coming and going in alleyways. In a corner is a small Chinese cafe that specialize in noodles, and in a secluded corner, is Issei Hyouhou, wearing shades and a cap. The reason he is here is because of what happen in the last day or so.

(Flashback)

It was morning and Issei for some reason feels heavier then usual, even warmer. Issei open his eyes and what he sees cause his eyes to pop out. Right on top of him is Lum, hugging and clinging to his body. He could feel how frail and soft Lum's body is, how small she is and, and most importantly, how big and soft her breasts are. Issei could tell that they are easily large DD size cups. Issei can also see his hand is on her bare back. 'It looks like heaven is giving me a gift today.' Issei slowly guide his hand to her perky backside, but Lum stirs awake, staring Issei with tired a tired look.

"Darling?" Issei smiles nerviously as Lum is wide awake in the middle of his attempt groping her.

"Hey Lum, how you slept?" Lum smiles sweetly and hugs Issei closer.

"I slept fine darling. You make a nice body pillow." Issei smiles nervously, trying to avoid Lum finding out his act. Lum smiles sensually at Issei. "And I know what you doing darling, you naughty boy." Lum takes his hand and place it right on her butt. Issei face flush at this. This is the first time a girl allows him to do this and Lum looks a bit surprise just now. "Oh darling! You beast." Issei knows what she means. Just now, his manhood is fully erect and Lum can feel it.

"L..L..L..Lum, I can explain!" Issei said nervously, but she just place her finger on his lips and shush him.

"Don't freight darling. I don't mind that you take me. We will make a beautiful baby together." Lum is about to kiss Issei, but something interrupts her.

"Issei, it's time to wake up." Issei froze on the spot hearing Asia's voice. Lum growls at this, but smiles on this.

"Asia, why wake us up so early? Me and darling are tired from all the loving and cuddling we made...all...night...LONG!" Lum quickly strips herself and holds onto Issei, naked, as Asia opens the door looking shocked. Lum smiles at this, thinking that she won this battle, but...

"I will be naked too! I will not be the only one left out!" Asia began to strip off her uniform and walks towards Issei, becoming more and more bare. Lum looks infuriated seeing this, even more so when Asia clings to Issei's body to her now bare body.

"No! This is not how it suppose to happen! You suppose to runaway crying from the house!" Asia stares at Lum, looking defiant.

"Sorry, but I love Issei too much to leave him to you." Lum hair rises up and launches a lightening bolt at Asia, sadly it struck Issei's frozen form and spaz and twitches in pain.

"DARLING!/ISSEI!" Both girls scream in fear seeing Issei blacken form as he lays down on his bed, and he is thinking to himself 'This is the fourth time this happen.'

"Wake up Darling, Wake up-Icha" The alarm said with Lum on it.

(Timeskip)

After the morning incident, Issei and Asia are walking to school, Asia fully heal him. While Asia normally enjoys walking side by side with Issei, but not with a floating oni girl clings to him and Issei could tell. "Come on Asia don't be like that." Asia huffs at this, causing Issei to sigh. "I know that you two don't like each other, but please try to get along." Asia sighs and nods, and Issei pats her head, making her smile.

"Darling, thats not fair! I want to be pampered too." Lums pouts and Issei complies. Lum hums in delight as she is being petted by her Darling.

"Ara ara, you became quite a ladies man Issei." Akeno appear before the group with the usual smile on her face. Asia frouns at Akeno sudden appearance, knowing what she will ask Issei.

"And who are you? How you know my darling?" Lum said with a suspicious look. Akeno looks at Lum with confusion.

"Oh, are you a Oni? 'Are the youkai becoming more aggressive?'"

"No, I'm a space alien, Lum, so again, Who are you and what is your relationship to my Darling Issei?" Lum is getting more irked by this woman.

"Oh, my name is Akeno Himejima, Vice President of the Occult Research Club, and I am just a messenger for the President of our Club." Akeno explains to the space princess, but Lum isn't convince.

"And what is your message?"

"Rias-sama is getting impatient waiting for your answer, so she..."

"I want to know your answer today Issei Hyouhou." Out of nowhere appears Rias Gremory, Yuuto, and Koneko, with Rias looking impatient. Issei looks nervous seeing Rias angry.

"Hello Rias-sempai. How have you been?"

"Fine as of late, but you will already know that if you agree to my deal already." Issei laughs nervously at Rias's remark.

"Sorry, but things got a bit crazy from the last time we meet Rias."

"I know. Yuuto and Koneko told me about it."

"And what is this deal you and darling are talking about?" Lum said with suspicion. Rias stares at Lum with strife.

"Why you what to know Oni?"

"Space Alien, and why I would like to know is because from what I heard from Asia, you lot want Darling for some reason." Rias looks a bit nervous.

"We, the members of the Occult Research Club, select only students that we deem promising to our club. With his role thwarting the alien invasion, and his ability with sculpting, we think he will join in quite nicely." Rias smiles at this

"Then stop asking darling to join you stupid club. What I heard about your school, you should have many 'promising' people that can join you." Rias looks irked at Lum's statement. "Besides, for all I know you want Darling for his power, not for him alone." Rias is now visibly angry at Lum.

"H..H..H..How dare you excuse me of such statement! I think he deserves to serve someone caring as me!" Rias stutters in rage.

"Serve you! He will not serve someone spoiled as you! Come darling, lets depart." As Lum drags Issei away, Rias grabs Issei opposing side.

"Not before I get his answer." Lum growls in anger, pulling Issei back.

"Never!" Now Issei is in another tug of war, smiling like the idiot he is and the Research Occult club sweat at this.

'Hahaha. Even though I can feel my limbs being pull apart, I have women fight for me daily. No man is lucker then me.' That thought came to a stop when Issei felt like he was hit with a sledge hammer to the stomach. 'Then again, I'm also the unluckiest.'

"Issei/Darling!" All three girls cry in fright as Issei slumps down unconsciousness. And the culprit is none other than Koneko, acting like she had done nothing wrong.

"Koneko what was that for?!" Rias said in surprise.

"Yes! What has darling have ever done to you?!" Lum said in fury.

"He was thinking perverted thoughts." Koneko said as she points to Issei's fallen form, resting on Asia's lap. The girls growl at this, knowing that this will be settle for another time.

"Ara ara, I guess we have to wait for another time. Rias-sama looks so adorable not getting what she wants." Akeno walks to Issei's fallen form and whispers into his ear. "And you look so cute too getting all flustered. If you want, I'll take you in and be my plaything." Akeno playfully bites Issei's ear earning hateful stares from Lum and Asia, looks of jealously from Rias.

(Timeskip)

After that incident, Issei and Asia are at class, fully conscience now. Asia looks at Issei with worry. "Issei, what does Rias really what from you?"

"Nothing Asia. She just what to know if she wants to join her club." Issei lie. Asia shook her head, knowing there is more to it then Issei is saying.

"No one goes to that length without a important reason. Please Issei don't lie anymore." Asia looks at Issei with sad eyes, and Issei caves in.

"(Sigh) I guess it's time to that you know the truth. Rias is a devil princess and the entire club are devils, under her service." Asia gasps at this.

"But, why she wants you? Unless, she..."

"I don't really know why, but all I know is that my power is key to it."

"No, don't join her Issei! She will only care for your power, not you! Why would you want to join her in the first place." Issei laughs nervously at that, causing Asia to stare at Issei intensely.

"Um, well... she offers me to be a devil, with good benefits, but the downsides of becoming and being one are making me think about it."

"What is there to think about! She is a demon that only sees you as a tool to be use and discarded when she is done with you!" Asia cries in fear. She still remembers the devil she healed and how he repay her.

"Look Asia, on the day we meet is the day Rias given me the offer. I was thinking of a way to help me decide to be a devil or not when we first meet. When we were hanging out, I was forgetting about the deal, and seeing you in danger made me forgot about it completely. Akeno or Rias comes by time to time to remind me time to time." Issei can see that Asia is still tearful about it, making him feel like crap. But that change when Asia sits next to him, latching to his arm. "Asia! What are you doing?" Issei said with a red face.

"Just as you protect me, i will protect you. With me around, you will completely forget about accepting Rias's deal. 'And maybe we will...'" Asia is lost in her mind, imagining themselves as husband and wife, but someone interrupts it.

"I can't believe it! I leave you two for a few minutes, and you're cuddling with Darling?!" Lum screams at at Issei and Asia, surprising the entire class.

"Darling? Issei?" "Who is she?" "What with the outfit?" "Is she flying?" "Why is she clinging to Issei, of all people?" the class whispers as they see Lum clinging to Issei.

"Darling, why she holding onto you like that?! I'm the only one who should hold onto you?" Issei began to sweat. Lum appears into his class and everyone sees her affection for her.

"So, who are you anyway?" A random student asks. Lum stares at the crowd, with confusion.

"Hmm? Oh sorry. My name is Lum Invader and I am Darling's wife-icha."

"WIFE?!" The students say in disbelief. Lum shakes her head, clinging back to Issei.

"Darling save me from an evil devil woman and propose to me. Darling is so brave."

"Him? Brave? When did this happen?" another student say, still in disbelief.

"On the final day of the competition of course. Darling scared me a bit, showing his power, but to jump and protect me from a fall..." Lum swoons remembering that day in the competition, clinging onto Issei more, wrapping her legs around his, causing the crowd to gasp a this, and Asia to cling to Issei even more.

"Wait... I remember now! Your that alien invader that came to conquer our planet almost two weeks ago!" another random student blurts out in realization.

"No that was my father. I only play with darling with a game of tag." Lum corrected. Before anymore students continue there questions, the teacher enters the room and yells at them in annoyance.

"What are you standing around for?! You are students of Kuoh Academy, not dribbling idiots from a common high school! Now get back to your seats!" The crowd disperse, the teacher just pay attention to the board not noticing Lum, Issei or Asia at all. And it been like that for most of the class. While the teacher lectures the class, both Asia and Lum try to out 'cuddle' each other, and Issei is the 'referee.'

"Now class, can anyone tell me what is the gravitational forces? Anyone?" The teacher turns around, trying to pick his latest victim, someone who looks to be the to distracted or better yet, too slow to understand. That change quickly as soon he finally sees the elephant in the room.

"MR. HYOUHOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" The teacher screams in fury. Issei jolts out of his nirvana fantasy and sees before him is a angry teacher, his face red in both anger and embarrassment.

"Enjoying these ladies company?" Issei said nervously.

"Last I check, I am a teacher, molding the future minds of our newest and brightest students, not a host of a GOGO BAR!" Issei jumps at this in surprise.

"Teacher. I know that it's improper for students to show their feeling in class, but isn't it natural for couples to show their love for each other?" Lum points out.

"Not in this class Miss. Now stop this vugar display all of you or you will be expelled!" the teacher threatens. Issei and Asia complies to it, but Lum...

"Fine, this class is boring anyway, teaching the basics. Come darling, let go play outside."

"Basic?!" the teacher said offended. "This miss, is a college level education. A education that will help these worthless lot to get a change for a future! Now tell me, how is this basic!" The teacher ranted, earning glares from the students.

'Worthless lot? I hate who you consider decent?' Issei and most of the class thought.

"I haven't learn about gravitational forces since kindergarten. Right with trigonometry, rocket science, and the ABC's." Everyone is shock to hear this, especially the teacher.

"Who exactly are you?" the teacher ask.

"Hm? Oh sorry, I'm having a deja vu moment. My name is Lum Invader, daughter of Lord Invader and Princess of Planet Oni." Lum states out.

"Princess?!" The class screams in surprise. Not long everyone, including the teacher, swarms to Lum, firing question after question about everything about her. Issei, on the other hand, was trampled under the crowds feet, Asia healing his battered body.

(Timeskip)

Its now late at night, Issei sighing on today's events.

"Whats the matter darling? You act like you have the worst day ever." Lum ask in concern.

"It's nothing just a lot have happen recently." Issei said.

"Really? Like what?" Issei chuckles at this, seeing the tiger skin rug on the floor, his closet converted into small room, and alien artifacts, tools and plants littering his room. "It's that Rias woman isn't it. Asia told me about her, and frankly she is spoiled girl." Again ironic from Lum.

"Rias is a nice girl. She just use to getting what she wants." Issei defended. Lum huffs at this.

"I still think that she a rotton devil, but no matter." Lum draws close to Issei, placing her breast on his back. "At least I'm honest with my feelings." Issei chuckles nervously. "Now hold still Darling, I will give you my special kisses." Power began to build in her body, Lum ready to channel it to her lips, but Lum get interrupted. Asia burst in Issei's room, looking upset.

"No! I will give Issei special kisses!"

"What! No I'm the only one who will give Darling special kisses! Besides what are you doing here in the first place!" Asia blush at this, pushing her fingers together.

"Um...well... I was going to ask Issei that if I could sleep with him tonight." Issei head is releasing steam seeing her being so innocent. Lum snarls at this.

"No way in hell that will happen! If anyone going to sleep with darling, its ME!"

"No, me."

"Me!"

"Me."

"ME/Me!" Both stare at Issei, Lum with jealously, Asia with sadness, both with tears in their eyes.

"Um well, can you both share?"

"NO WAY!" Both say in sync. Issei sweat at this.

"QUIET! YOU'RE WAKING THE NEIGHBORHOOD!" A pair of fish creatures scream in annoyance. They threw a lamp at Issei, giving him a large lump.

"Issei/Darling!" Both girls scream in worry as Issei lost conscience once more.

(Timeskip)

Issei wakes up in the middle of the night, feeling pain and heaviness on himself. What he sees is both Asia and Lum, laying next to him and blissfully asleep.

'Ah man, not again. That the fifth time today. Well at least these two are getting along again.' Issei got up and clean his face. He look at his face, showing signs of stress and fatigue. 'Man, if I keep this up, I will die in stress before I meet my mid-life crisis.' Issei is in deep thought, trying to find a way to relieve all of his stress. 'Maybe a me day will work.' Issei sees the time and it's 5:48am. 'Yeah a me day will work.' Issei gets dressed, wore a cap and shades just in case, and wrote a letter to ease everyone's worry going like this:

_Dear Everyone,_

_If you find this letter, don't freight. I just having a me day. I will be back later the day or the next. Asia, if you're reading this, please don't cry. Knowing that if I make you cry in anyway makes me the worse possible man on earth. Lum if you are reading this, please don't blame Asia or yourself for my sudden disappearance. This is my decition and mine alone. A day or so to clear my head won't kill me. And mom and dad, please don't make this into a big deal. If I can handle myself for a week, I can handle a day or so. So until then, please don't worry, all of you. I will be back. Promise._

_From, Issei Hyouhou_

'There that will due.' Issei thought as he place the letter on the dinning table and quietly left the house, starting his adventure today.

(Flashback over)

"Here is your Pork Chow Mein sir." the maid said as she hands Issei his meal.

"Thank you." Issei began to eat his meal, while watching a program on T.V.

"Now today on our program, we will allow distressed families to reach for their love ones who left them." The announcer said.

'Man that quite sad. Mothers, fathers, siblings, love ones leaving them for one reason for another.' Issei mentally sighs as he continues to eat.

"Now here is another lover, crying out for her love one to return."

"Darling! Where are you!? Please come home!" Lum said as she appear on the screen, causing Issei to spit up his meal. So much for a me day.

"Hey, I recognize her, she's that Invader girl, Lum." A customer said remembering her.

"Darling, please come home. It's getting cold at night, and I want you to keep me warm-icha." Next to appear is Issei parents, their eyes full of tears.

"Issei, please come home. We don't care for why you left, we just want our son home." Issei's father said in tears.

"Issei, please listen to your father. When we discover your disappearance, we couldn't handle it. Even with the letter, it's still too painful." Issei said in worry. Issei starts to feel bad about this.

"Issei! Please come home!" Asia said with tears in her eyes. This nearly cause Issei's heart to break. "Please come home Issei. A soon as you were gone, I felt an empty void in my life. Please come, and if you still want to continue your journey, please take me with you."

"Boy! Be warn today! You will recieve more bad luck today Issei Hyouhou!" Issei slams his head to his table, seeing Cherry on the screen, causing customers to stare at him with odd looks.

"For those who have seen any of these individuals please call this number on the screen below." The announcer said. Issei collects himself hearing that.

'Wait, calm down. Even with photo, people won't reconize me at first glance thanks to this disguise.'

"... and finally we have a picture of sixteen year old Issei Hyouhou." The screen show Issei in disguise, causing him to fall to the floor seeing this.

'Thats impossible! No way my luck is that bad!' Issei notice people looking at him intently. 'Crap! I better go before a riot starts.' Issei pays for his meal and quickly exits the building, but then he bumps into something soft, knocking his disguise off. Issei pries himself of to see somrthing that made him flustered. A tall, long hair brunette, with lips red as rubies, brown eyes, and a figure that only fashion models could afford. "I'm sorry miss." Issei appoligize, but she said nothing, but trembles.

"Whoa! Easy there!" Issei said as she collapse on him. 'She breathing heavily.'

"The shock... when you ran into me... my heart is..." The woman groans in pain, clinging Issei for support.

"Hey, ease yourself. Is there anything I can do?" Issei said in concern.

"Hey, what the hell is he doing?" a customor is asking himself.

"Wait I seen his face before." "Yeah, he's that Iseei kid that almost lost to the alien invaders." "Wasn't he on t.v. not that long ago?" "Your right. Wasn't there two girls calling out to him?" "Right. I remember that Invader girl calling to him, and that foreigner. She was crying for him." "Does that mean he's a cheater?" "Sounds like it, and he is doing it again." "That little bastard! I going to beat him senceless." The crowd mutters and gathers around Issei, under presumption that Issei is a cheater.

"Hey, its not what it looks like. She needs a hospital now." Issei word's feel on deaf ears as the crowd only see red. Seeing that words won't reach them, he have no choice but run.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE PUNK!" and the crowd chases after him, thinking he is up to no good. As Issei runs from the mob, a familiar brunette saw this.

"Ara ara, even on weekends, he is a naughty boy. hmm?" Akeno eyes open widely as she sees a familiar face. "No, can it be?" Akeno now follows the mob, looking for a woman she has not seen for a long time.

* * *

"Where is he? Where did he go?!" How the hell should I know? He just disappeared." The leader growls at this, just finding out how slippery Issei is. "Fine! Lets check over there!" The leader command and the others follow him. As soon as they were gone, Issei peeks behind a tree, and sighs in relief. Both Issei and the woman hid in the park, after avoiding the angry mob.

"Good they're gone."

"UHH!" the woman groans in pain.

"Woah, easy there. Here sit down." Issei places her on a park bench. While she still breathes heavily, she appears to be better. "There, better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Your welcome. My name Issei Hyouhou."

"Sakura." Sakura cring in pain once more and Issei goes to her, trying to comfort her.

"Easy. Umm.. do you need a massage or something?" Then Issei sees her large breast inside of her form fitting dress. 'Or maybe, releaving your chest of pressure. That works too.' And almost on que, Sakura slaps Issei's face, looking in fear and shock.

"Such a malevolent aura, is this why you have such horrid luck?" Sakura said, covering her breast. Issei looks surprise, while rubbing his sore cheek.

"Wait. How do you about my luck?"

"Simple, I can see it on your face. I..(huff).. I've been serving as a priestess to a shinto shrine for all of my life... but I've never seen someone with your luck before."

"A Shinto Priestess? That explain why you have this aura of mystery around you. It quite complements your beauty Miss Sakura." Issei complimented.

"Thank you, but I have a fiance." Issei chuckles at this. "Aren't you a student? (Huff) Should you being studying for a exam or something?"

"It's a weekend and what been happening for the month, a me day."

"Me day? What happen?" Issei chuckles at this and began to tell his story from the day he got selected, meeting Rias and her group, saving Asia from the fallen angels, his alien aduction, Lum moving in, and the craziness that follow her. "... and that's my story."

"That explain why you are so familiar. You're that individual that prevented war between our worlds. (Huff huff Groan) My heart!" Sakura clutches her chest once more in pain, causing Issei to support her.

"Miss Sakura! Don't strain yourself. Damn it, we must bring you to a hospital fast!" Issei starts to carry her, but Sakura stops him.

"No thats okay. My home is not far from here. I've been always been sick, so my house is fully prep for this kind of thing."

"Then where is it?" Issei asks and Sakura points to the forest.

"There, a minutes walk from here."

"Right." Issei carries Sakura to her home, but at the same time Akeno founds them, following them to their destination.

* * *

"Here we are (Huff huff) This place is my home and where I exorcised countless spirits." Sakura said as they arrive to a building that doubles as a shrine and a home.

"Mother, I'm home." Sakura said as Issei gently places her on the floor.

"Welcome back Sakura. You been out longer than before." A old woman voice's said.

"There, you should be safe now." Issei said as he began to leave.

"And where are you going dear?" the old woman voice out. Issei turns around to see Cherry with curly hair, and a kimono. Issei nearly jumps out of his skin seeing this double.

"N..n..nowhere particular. Just returning your daughter safely and I will be on my mary way." Issei walks quickly, but not far when a piece of rope ties him up. Issei turns around to see it was Sakura.

"Oh (huff) no you not. As a thanks for bringing me back (Huff) I will exorsise your bad luck. Turning it down will invite more bad luck." Sakura said.

"You should listen to my daughter. Once she made up her mind, nothing will tether it." Sakura's mother as she grabs the rope, but she then looks into Issei's face. "Oh my, by the looks of your facial features, your reeking in bad luck, more so than anything humanly possible. That does it, you will be exorise, no buts about it." Sakura's mother said as she drags Issei inside the temple.

"Isn't this concidered kidnapping?!" Issei screams in protest. As the shinto family drags Issei inside the temple, Koneko sees this and looks surprise on who the woman is.

"Sakura-sensei. Why are you here, or out for that matter." Akeno runs her way to the temple, wanting to see a woman she haven't seen for many years.

* * *

"Now while we wait, do you want some tea?" Sakura's mother ask Issei.

"Tea would be nice, but what be nicer is that you FREE ME!" Issei screams in frustration. Sakura's mother wince at this, but waks his head with shide wand.

"Such rude behavior, no wonder you have such bad luck." As the old woman berates him, the slider opens up, and to Issei's horror, is Sakura in her miko outfit, with candles on her forhead and swollen cheeks, reflecting her poor condition.

"I apoligise for the time, but my infected tooth is swelling again."

"Miss Sakura! You look worse then before! We have to get you to a hospital now!" Issei said in worry.

"Yes, listen to the boy Sakura! You are nowhere near the condition to perform a ritual." Sakura's mother said in worry.

"No! He help me in my time of need, so in return, I will exorsice his bad luck." Sakura said in conviction. She walks to a small shrine, home to a small fire, and began to chant. "Exorsie him, purify him, exorsise him, purify him..." As Sakura chants, she cringe in pain trying to focus her spiritual energy. While Issei looks at her in worry, small unusual creatures appear before him, dancing around him.

"Um... Miss Sakura, is this normal?"

"Quite! I need to concintrate!" Sakura yells as she chants faster and faster. As more creatures appear, the fire grows and intencifies. Issei's left hand tences as the chanting intencifies.

_**Dragon Boost**_

"What the hell?" Issei said as his sacred gear appear on it's own. Issei's gear began to glow, and the fire rises up, taking shape. As Sakura reaches the climax, the flame took shape of a dragon, roaring fire to everyone inside the building.

* * *

As the ritual nears it climax, Akeno is a front of the temple's door. Even though she can feel her demonic energy draining, she needs to see this person, this woman. Even now, she is ready to knock, but she is scared. 'Come on Akeno. You made this far. You have to do it. For Sakura-sensei, for me, for mama.' Akeno prepares herself to alert the owner of this temple, by rapping on the door.

Knock BOOOOOOOOM

The temple explodes, surprising Akeno greatly as the fire dragon fly high to the heavens, parting the clouds miles away. As the smoke settles, Akeno sees three people, lying on the floor, all them she reconize.

"Nanny, Issei,.." Akeno gasps to see the Miko's fallen form "... Sakura-sensei!" Akeno rushes to Sakura, lifting her up in worry. "Sakura, Sakura, please be okay." Sakura began to groan and stir. Sakura open her eyes to see a familiar face before her.

"Akeno? What are you doing here?" Akeno smiles and cries as she embrace Sakura.

"Sensei! I got so worried for you! How are feeling?" Sakura got up groaning in pain, but notice something.

"No way... no WAY! MY TOOTH, MY HEART, MY BODY! I HAVE NEVER FELT SO HEALTHY IN ALL MY LIFE!" Sakura cheers as hugs Akeno.

"Sakura, it that true? All your ailments are gone?" Sakura's mother said, Sakura nodding her head, confirming it. "How joyous! Something like this should be celebrated!" Sakura's mother notice Akeno and smiles more. "Akeno! Its so good to see you!" Sakura's mother walks to Akeno, giving her a huge hug, Akeno responding back with another.

"Nanny! It good to see you!" As this little reunion occur, a certain oni girl flys over them, looking for our hero.

"Darling! Darling! Where are you Darling?!" Lum sits on the temple ruins but hears groans below her. When she sees Issei, free from his confinement, she jumps in joy, flying towards him. "Darling!"

Issei groans as he gets up,but falls back down when Lum embrase him. "Lum what are you doing here?" Lum stares at him with tears.

"Darling! Where have you been?! The bed is cold, the room lonely." Lum embrace him more, like he been gone for years.

"I've been gone for a couple of hours, hanging out at my usual hangouts. I've got caught in a situation, thats all."

"Situation?" Lum stares at Issei with suspition. Lum looks around to see Sakura and Akeno. Lum looks back at Issei with a malicious look.

"Did that situation involves a shinto priestess and a slutty girl?"

"Lum this isn't what it looks like." Issei said as he tries to calm her down.

"Don't frieght, he only help me return home, and Akeno just got here."

"Thats right Akeno-sensei." Akeno said with a smile.

"Sensei?" Both Issei and Lum said in confusion. Sakura and Akeno sees their confusion and Sakura explains.

"Akeno was my apprentince in the Shinto arts. Despite my health, I taught her all that is need to know."

"Akeno as a Miko Shrine Maiden?" Issei said as he began to imagine and drool thinking Akeno as a shrine maiden. Issei soon winces in pain as Lum pinches his cheeks. "Ow! What was that for?"

"That is karma, thinking of adulterous thought of a young maiden." Cherry said out of nowhere, surprising Issei. "Oh Akeno. Nice to see you again."

"Same here Jiji."

"Jiji?" Lum and Issei looks more confused. Cherry is Akeno's grandfather? They don't look nothing alike.

"It's a nickname she gave me will living in our home. Speacking of which, what happen?"

"Well uncle, I was performing a exorism on this boy, but with my health on the fringe, I use too much spiritual energy and accidently blew up the temple. But in the plus side, I have never felt better in all my life." Sakura said in glee.

"Ah this is good. By the looks of it, when you where exorcising Isseis's bad luck, you also exorsise the disease spirits inside you."

"Wait. Disease Spirit? Is that what those thing dancing around me are?" Issei said, hinting irritation.

"It appear so, but luckly my spirits didn't transfer to you, though I'm a bit curious." Sakura said, thinking about something.

"Like what Sakura-sensei?" Akeno asking in curiousity.

"Normally, my spiritual power is strong, but not strong enough for this level of devistation." Akeno is not sure herself, but she sees Issei's gear out, making her think of something.

'Is this the power of the Boosted Gear?' "Probably it's nothing Sakura-sensei, but it been years sence we last seen each other, do you wanna catch up?" Akeno said, hoping to change the subject.

"Hmm alright. It will be nice to catch up with my little student." Sakura said.

"Alright see you guys later then." Issei said as he leaves, Lum following him, she sticking her toungue at Akeno.

"So Akeno, have you found someplace you belong?" Sakura said with concern. Akeno look downward, forlorn.

"Yeah, I did. They except me greatly."

"I see. You know you will always have a place here, depite our feilty." Sakura offers, but Akeno shakes her head in disagreement.

"Thats okay Sakura-sensei. I don't want to be a burden to you or your family. Besides, I have a place of my own already."

"Still living there are you?" Sakura said with concern, Akeno nodding her head. "I bet it gets lonely there does it."

"Yeah it does."

"Okay then, but enough melodrama. Lets catch up. Last I saw you you were worried that you might be getting fat, eating all that food." Sakura joke as Akeno blushes at that.

"Sensei!" Sakura laughs at this as her former student flustters at this.

"Just kidding, just kidding ,but I am curious. What do you think of that boy, Issei."

* * *

Issei is tired today. What was suppose to be his me day, turn into a run for his life, bringing a sick woman home, getting blown up, and being berated by his parents, but things weren't so bad. He is glad to hear that Sakura is no longer ill, and Asia has stop crying in sadness. Lum and Asia still fight, but they seem to agree with each other more. As Issei lies down on his bed, something enter his room, and its not the girls. It was sickly green skin, long sharp fingers, needle fangs, skin and bone figure, and eyes glowing red. It look intensely at Issei's sleeping form and became transparent. It slowly turn into mist, entering Issei's body till it is gone.

(Cough, Cough)

* * *

Issei nears Rias, but soon replace by Lum, making him trip. Title apears.

**Those Obnoxious Demons**

* * *

_Commercial break_

(Going downward, parting clouds and viewing a grey city, with two large towers standing out)

Daten City, a place where Heaven and Hell are closest to Earth. Where human live in constant danger in a post apocalyptic world.

(Black and red creatures of all shapes and sizes attacking, tormenting humans)

Where spirits emboding negative human emotion and deeds, threaten their lives. And it only protection are two envoys of Heaven, purifying the tormented spirits to eternal peace.

(Two female figure emerge from the shadows, shooting and slashing the spirits, all of them exploding)

But, the city will change with a arrival of boy, a natural born angel killer.

(Emerging from a airport, is a shadowy figure, slowly revealing itself into the light)

Shinji Ikari!

(Now the figure reaveals to be fourteen year old, average looking scawny boy.)

"Huh?" Shinji looks confused. Afront of him is what looks to be a pink weasel, with a zipper on it's body.

"Fastner."

{PASWG OST 05}

Now Shinji's hope for a normal life goes down the drain, because he is living with incestious demonic sister,

(Scanty and Kneesocks coming on to Shinji, making himself nervous)

meeting People from his past life,

(Images of Rei meeting Shinji at school, Misato and Shinji grocery shopping and Mari smelling him in public)

and those of a alternate reality.

(a flying ship over the city, a older, colder Misato demanding Shinji's capture, a motified Unit 02 chasing Shinji, piloted by Askua wearing a eyepatch, and both Maris' teasing Shinji)

Combine with a mysterious role for Humanity's future. (Shinji being armored by a humanoid miniture version of Unit 01's armor, bareing black wings and a red broad sword)

And to top it off, are two angelic sister that are nothing like angels. (Shinji meeting the sisters at school, Stocking demanding Shinji to make her sweets everyday with a blush, Panty walking in the mall while Shinji carrying her bags, baring a slurly smile)

Based on the Animes of Gainax, Neon Genesis Evangelion, and Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt. Inspired by kazikamikaze24's work, and created by the writer of Those Obnoxious Demons, brings you a crossover that demands epicness. (Showing scence of the Angel Sister's transforming, the Demon sister stripping, and armored Shinji battling a evangelion unit)

Shinji's life is never going to the same again.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion:**

**Trouble in Daten City**

"Chuck!"

_Commercial Ends_

* * *

Issei running towards a topless Lum, but gets punch by Koneko as the title appears.

**Those Obnoxious Demons**

* * *

Chapter 05B: Heal me Nurse Sakura

It was the next day, sunday. Most people take this time to go to church or pray to the local gods. For most students, it's time to return to classes, and our hero and his companion are getting late.

"Issei, class is going to start soon! We must hurry!" Asia said as she runs with Issei.

"Alright Asia. ACHOO!" Issei is sneezing up a storm, his nose dripping snot.

"Issei are you getting a cold?" Asia ask in concern.

"Don't worry about it Asia, a case of the sniffles won't kill me." Issei said with a smile on his face, making Asia blush. Not far Lum is flying over the two, carrying something in her hand.

"Darling you forgot something!" Lum hover over Issei handing him a wraped object. "Your lunch for today and your text book."

"Thanks Lum! I had a feeling I was forgeting something." Issei said as he grabs him item and continue running.

"Of course. What kind of wife will let her husband forget his important things." Lum as as she looks at Asia with a victorious smirk. Asia huffs at this, not going to give up so easily.

"Oh thank you for bringing the lunch I made specialy for Issei. Thank you for being for thoughtful." Asia said, giving a small smile, irking Lum. As the trio was about to arrive at school, they notice a large crowd of male students surrounding the school entrance, lining up. waiting for someone. The trio is confuse by this. So combing the crowd, and he sees Mastuda and Motohama, people he will know will provide the answer he needs.

"Yo Mastuda, Motohama."

"Ah Issei. Good morning." Motohama greets.

"Sup Issei." Mastuda said.

"So what with the crowd?" Issei asks. Both Mastuda and Motohama look shock hearing what Issei is saying.

"Wait you don't know?" Mastuda said in surprise.

"How odd. You of all people should heared about it." Motohama points out. Issei looks more confuse then before.

"About what?"

"A new nurse is going to be working here buddy." Mastuda said as he wraps his arm around Issei's head.

"And if rumors are true, our new nurse will be a mature beauty." Motohama said as he adjust his glasses, wrapping his other arm around Issei's head.

"Really? Maybe I join you guys and see who she is." Issei said with some drool on his mouth. Both Issei and Asia look furious at Issei just him thinking about it. Almost on que, a small tapping sound is coming toward the school gate. The boys hold their breath, waiting in anticipation and appond arrival a beautiful woman appear. Wearing a form fitting one piece purple dress, revealing great amout of cleavage, and a small delicate rope tied to her waist, completing her hourglass figure.

"Damn, just look at her! Her looks, that figure, her radiance! Just seeing her wants me to marry her." Mastuda said with vigor.

"88, 45, 73. A ideal hourglass figure. Her mature beauty is complemented greatly with her figure, combine with her attire, gives her a air of mystery." Motohama said as he adjust his glasses. All the males are hooting and holaring seeing her, making her blush a bit.

"Oh my. The youth today are so energetic for someone my age." While the male population cheer for this unknown woman, Issei reconize her immediately.

"Miss Sakura!"

"What you say!" both Mastuda and Motohama said in surprise. "How you know her! Tell us now!" Issei was about to talk, but something grips him. Issei is shaking, hugging his body in fright.

"The Horror! The Horror!" Issei screams in terror, shocking the crowd. Both Asia and Lum come to him in worry.

"Darling what's wrong" Lum ask.

"Issei, what happen to you?" Asia said in worry. Issei clutches his head as if remembering something horrific.

"The Horror! The Horror!" Issei sreams as he run as far away as he can.

"Darling!/Issei!" Both girl follow him, wanting to make sure he is okay.

"What was that?" Msatuda asks in confusion.

"I have no idea. This kind of behavior isn't something Issei would do under the circumstance." Motohama said, he too in confusion.

"You Idoits! Class is about to start!" A teacher scream in fury, scattering the group everywhere.

Back to our hero, Issei is lying on the ground calming down from his earlier episode.

"Darling, whats wrong?" Lum ask as she bring Issei up. As Issei is on his feet, he shakes his head, snapping out of his fear.

"What happen?" Issei asks himself. Both Lum and Asia sigh in relief as Issei is acting normal now.

"Issei you scare me when you scream like that. What made you do that?" Asia said as she hugs Issei in comfort.

"Darling, are trying to keep away from other women?" Lum ask with hopefulness. Asia puff her cheeks at this.

"I really don't know. One moment I was going to explain Mastuda and Motohama how I met Sakura, next thing I know I was feeling afraid for some reason." Issei said as he began to ponder what happen.

"Ahhh, Darling you don't care for me?" Lum said with puppy eyes. Issei blush at this, rubbing his head in embarrestment.

"Well... I do care for you Lum." Lum perks up and glops onto him in delight.

"Darling! You do care! Now let me give you my expression of love." Lumsaid as she discharge electricity thoughout Issei's body, scaring Asia.

"Issei!"

* * *

Issei, Asia, and Lum are inside class Issei a bit tired, despite Asia's healing him. But by the looks of it, Issei isn' t the only one who isn't injured.

"Ow ow ow. I've have never been happier in all my life."

"Even though I am injured in three places, it all worth it."

"All right! I am injured all over my body!" Vast majority of the male students are injured, but are happy for it.

"What are they happy about? Normally, when someone is injured, they summit to pain, trying to ease it." Asia said in confusion.

"That because of that new couger nurse Asia." Aika said with a smile. "You did see her did you." Asia looks glum, remembering the nurse.

"Yes I do. Her tall ,perfect hourglass figure. luxiurious black hair, her ruby lips..." Asia starts patting her breast, knowing that she is smaller then how Issei usually like them. Aika sighs at this and slaps Asia's back, snapping her out.

"Don't look so glum. The one that got themselves injured are morons. They will do anything to get a girlfriend. Do you see Issei doing something anything like this?" Asia ponders on this and remember a few things.

"There was a time he won Ratchu-kun for me. There is also the time he save me from the fallen angels, then there is also the time..." Asia is soon lost in her memories, remembering how much she loves Issei. Aika smiles at this.

"And did he did all that for you being you. Not for being a hot super model." Aika said Asia comes out of her trance.

"Really?"

"Really." While Aika and Asia where talking to each other, Issei began to feel under the weather.

'Man, whats wrong with me? This can't be the flu is it?'

"Yo Issei, you don't look so good." Issei look up and see his two friends talking to him, but he couldn't help but laughs a bit seeing how they look.

"This coming from two mummies." Both Mastuda and Motohama are covered in bandages over thier heads. Both blush in embarressment knowing what Issei is talking about.

"Hey, you didn't look so good when the kendo team caught you." Mastuda points out.

"Yes. The kendo team caught us peeping again, and of course the captain, still remembering what you said to her, she took her anger on us." Motohama said, trying to adjust his broken glasses. Issei smirks at this.

"Yah your right. At least you got to see Miss Sakura." Issei said as both Mastuda and Motohama began to drool.

"Sakura-sensei... even when she cold to us, just seeing her almost make the pain worth it." Mastuda said dreamly.

"I agree, even though she seen similiar cases today, she still take the time to see us and heal us." Motohama said just as dreamly. Issei sighs at this.

"Yeah. Once Miss Sakura makes up her mind, its hard to deter her from anything else." That caught Mastuda's and Motohama's attention.

"Speaking of Sakura." Both Masutda and Motohama said as they close in to Issei.

"How you know her anyway? Someone like her doesn't look like some one who just walk up to you and say hello." Mastuda said as he points out.

"Yes, I remember you saying that you know her in someway. Tell us how you know her." Motohama said. Issei was going to tell them how, but Issei began to feel light headed, and collape on the floor.

"Issei/Darling!" Both girls scream in fright seeing the one they love collapse on the floor. Both Mastuda and Motohama check on him and surprise them on what they found.

"Holy shit dude! He's running a fever." Mastuda said, as Motohama nods in agreement.

"We must take him to the nurse now." Both of them carry him out quickly, as the girls follow them in worry. Not long the group sees a horde of students waiting or suffering on the floor. The healthy one are helping the students. What is going on?

* * *

"What is going on?" Sakura ask herself as she sees another student, suffering a wide range of diseases and symptoms. At first it was a bunch of hormone driven teens, wanting to see her by inflicting wounds upon themselves. That was hold off when she set up a table, and setting a policy that only serious illnesses are needed. That lasted for a hour until this pandemic happen.

"Sensei here's another one." Akeno said as she lay down a girl who is breathing heavily.

"What are her symptoms?"

"Trouble breathing, high fever, swollen eyes." Sakura nods as she writes it down.

"Here is another one Sakura-sensei." Rias said as she brings a first year student, scratching up a storm, squrming in discomfort. "He is suffering fungal infection, and constipation."

"Right" Sakura said as writes that down too. "What could cause this?"

"I have no idea Miss Sakura." Yuuto said as he applies medicine to a festering wound, showing little improvement. Koneko comes inside, clearing a path for more patients, but she notice something.

"Another one is coming sensei." Koneko said to Sakura. Moments later, Mastuda, and Motohama brings inside Issei, with Lum and Asia following them.

"Nurse Sakura! We have a problem!" Mastuda said in worry.

"He isn't the only one. Place him over there." Sakura said to the group. As our group place our hero down, Asia looks around her and feels sadness in her heart.

"All these poor souls. I must do something." So she came to the nearest student and began to use her power. This act of selflessness caught the attension of the Occult Research Club, the student body, and Sakura.

'A Sacred Gear? Right under my nose?' Rias thought to herself.

"Is she a angel?" A random student asks. As Asia finish that student, Sakura goes straight to her with stars shining in her eyes.

"Miss, will you aid me in this crisis?!" Sakura said with vigor, surprising Asia greatly.

"Um well, I will try." Asia said with shyness.

"Alright. Now you start with the most serious cases. Festering wounds, broken bones, the worst." Asia nods to this and began to work. With that out of the way, Sakura go behind a curtian to see the specialist she called.

"So what did you find?"

"I have no idea. It's not bacterial, too aggressive and varied to be a virus. The only initial idea I can give is that this is some sort of Bio-weapon." This cause fear to enter Sakura's heart.

"A weapon? Who would do something like this?"

"That could be many things. This academy is home to sons and daughters of the elite, leaders and politicians." The specialist shakes his head in grief.

"A least we have a miricle on our side." Sakura states.

"I know what you mean. I don't know how she is doing it, but at least we can deter the worst of it till we find a cure. Now if you excuse me, I must bring this sample to the lab." As the specialist is going to retreave his sample, he sees Lum, looking at it with a strange microscope.

"Wow! Look at these viruses."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" The specialist screams in anger and fright.

"Finding out what's wrong with Darling." Lum looks into the scope again, but sees something unusual.

"Wow. It looks like they are suffering too."

"Too?" The specialist question as he looks into the microscope, much to Lum's disapproval. What he sees next surprise him.

"What the? Miss Sakura please look at this." Sakura come up and see what is wrong.

"What is going on?" What Sakura was seeing is millions of viruses, organizing and shaping a message.

**S.O.S.**

"Cries of help... from viruses?"

"Viruses?" Everyone said in confusion. How something mindless cries for help.

"Let's ask what wrong with them." Lum suggests.

"How?" The specialist ask as he write this down. All of this will give him a Nobel Pease Prize. Lum looks to the microscope once more.

"Can I have a volunteer?" Under the scope, a small spec moves foward, Lum smiles at this as she pulls what looks like a pen out of her bra.

"Macro ray, On!" Lum points and fires a beam of energy in a blank spot near the slide. At first, nothing happen, but that soon change when something began to grow. When Lum stop, the figure was large, robotic, primal looking, but that counters it a high pitch voive and waterfall tears pouring out of it's single eye.

"**Bwhaa!" **the virus cries in pain as it sits on the table surprising everyone.

"There there, tell us what wrong." Lum said as she comforts this walking blight.

"**Sniff. Okay. We were normal viruses, inflicting our usual symptoms, but then it came. Bwah!**"

"Who came Mr. Virus?" Asia said as she pats it's head.

"**A Demon. A Plague Demon! He is twisting us, corrupting our singular purpose, to it's own. He even go as far as to twist our host to his purpose!**" Everyone is shock on what they are hearing, especially the Occult Reasearch Club. To find out that this epedemic is cause by a demon.

"Who is your host?" Sakura demands the virus.

"**Its him! What was suppose to be the sniffles, but now the demon made him unconscience!**" The virus bawls as it points to Issei.

"What a minute... that wound make sence. Issei has been acting weird today." Mastuda said as he looks at Issei's fallen form.

"And what makes him the perfect criminal is that he hides in a sea of the sick and wounded." Motohama said as he contiplates it.

"Then we have no time." Sakura takes off her lab coat and to reveal her shrine maiden outfit underneath it.

"Now everyone please clear your hearts and minds of all worldly thoughts. We need the exorism to work properly." Sakura said to the students. While that sound simple, that isn't possible to a group of hormone driven males and self conscience females.

'Look at her. She is in a shrine maiden outfit. She is even sexier then before.' 'Oh man, I don't think I can do it.' 'How could she keep such a figure? She must have work done.' Sakura eyes twitch feeling 'earthly' thoughts growing.

"I said purify your souls, not dirty it! How am I suppose to exorsie the demon?!" Sakura said as she unconsciencely reveals her cleavage, placing it on Issei's form. Issei began to stir, but something is wrong. As everyone backs away, Issei eyes glow sickly green, his mouth full of fangs, and he is staring possesivly at Sakura's exposed cleavage.

"Hehehehehe.. aHAHAHAHA!" Issei leaps into the air, landing right on top of Sakura.

"Get off me you beast!" Sakura screams as Issei is trying to rip off her cloths.

"Hey! Stop that!" "Get off demon!" The student, while weak tries to pry Issei off Sakura, but he is holding on to her with his teeth. With one final pull Issei is off Sakura, but something unexpected happen. Right on top of the struggling Sakura is a small, sickly green demon, with small bat wings and quite skinny. Sakura, having enough of this, punches the demon off, it withering in pain.

"Thats a demon? I thought it will be more impressive." "You mean my pain and suffering is cause by this creature?" "My beauty faded beacause of this creature's amusement!" As the demon gets up, it sees it is surrounded by everyone. Sakura, Lum, Asia, Rias and her servants, the student body, the virus, and Issei, with his gauntlet, glowing in rage.

"Um parley?" The demon asks.

"HELL NO!"

"AAAAHHHHHH!" And the demon receive a beat down of a lifetime. When it was over, the demon is battered, brused, and thank to Sakura's charm, powerless. "I can't believe it. Me, a creature resonsiple for countless blights, brought down by a mature woman's charm."

"Shut up!" Issei said as he brought his armored fist to it's face. "You made me a tool for you plague! You have no right to speak!"

"Ugg, even with a longinus, I couldn't win." The demon speaks as Sakura redress herself.

"The exorism is complete."

"That was a exorism?" Asia said out loud. As the students drags the demon away, the virus is cheering in delight, on it kness afront of Sakura.

"**Thank you noble priestess. With that demon out of the way, we can now forfill our purpose, as it should be for all Rhinoviruses everywhere!**" The virus shrink down back to nothingness, but not leaving everyone confused.

"Rhinovirus?"

* * *

Not long after the demon is sent to trail for biological terrorism, almost every student are coughing and sneezing everywhere.

"The rhinovirus, better known as the common cold." Sakura said as she sends another student home.

"I guess class is cancel for today." A teacher said with a mask on. He sees Asia being surrounded by a horde of students, making her nervous. "And for good reason."

"Asia-sama! Please go out with me!" "Asia-sama! Let me smell your hair!" "Asia-san, let go to the movies." "Asia-san. Please join our club." Asia is shaking like a leaf. She haven't been treated like this for a long time, and it makes her nervous. Someone grabs her from behind, slipping though the crowd. It surprise her, but she is relieved its Issei.

"You okay?" Issei asks in worry.

"Yeah. I guess I've gotten popular today."

"With your gift out of the open, it's not that hard." Asia sighs at this. She wants a normal life with Issei, but that change quickly. As Asia wonders what to do, Sakura comes to her with a offer.

"Asia, correct?" Asia nods to this. "How would you like to be my assistant, healing out students in need?" Asia ponders on this, but nods her head in agreement.

"Good, cause I need you to help me sending students home."

"Okay, but is it okay that I have someone with me?" Asia shyly looks at Issei, not knowing what she truly means. Sakura however knows what she ment.

"Yes you can. The way everyone behaving today, it makes perfect sence for a maiden to have her knight at her side." Sakura tease, making both Asia and Issei blush at this.

"No, Darling shall be my knight!" Lum intervenes as she clings to Issei side. Asia puff her cheeks and grabs Issei's other side.

"No. I ask for Issei."

"Like I care!" And so Issei is in another game of tug of war.

* * *

Somewhere in the underworld...

A picture of Rias in a bride dress is being held in someone's hand.

"Brother, the tea is ready." A petite blonde girl said as she sits down, enjoying the afternoon. "Are there going to be any problems in your wedding preperation's" The figure laughs at that.

"Like anything will go wrong on in my marriage little sister." The figure comes out to the light and shows to be a handsome man, but his eyes show great conviction and greed.

* * *

And in space...

A large creature is coming towards the cockpit, changing size and appearance to that of a handsome man, wearing a one piece tiger stripe suit, and a pair of horns. It sits down on the pilot seat, holding a small doll in his hand.

"Lum."

* * *

**Author's note: And this ends another chapter in Those Obnoxious Demons. For those who actually voted, thank you for helping me pick another story for type. And sorry at advance. I just have a weakness for Crossover, and A.U.s. Do expect more 'commercials' my head pops up. If you really like to do any of these 'challenges', P.M. first and we can talk.**


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own neither Highschool DXD or Urusei Yatsura. They belong to their representative owners

* * *

[Lum No Love Song]

(A blank blue screen appears, then a heart with bats wings soon appear, drawing a star.[Song Start] Then the title appears, Issei freaking out and trying to hide from someone.)

**Those Obnoxious Demons**

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide_.(The screen soon change pink, showing Lum,freaking Issei out)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(Lum soon wags her finger as Issei runs around)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(Lum skips side to side, Issei ducking under the screen)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban_(The screen changes Lum's position revealing her tiger skin boots and bikini)

_Suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(Lum is shaking side to side excitement, while Issei was meeting Rias, Akeno as a shrine maiden, Asia as a nun)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(Lum is shaking side to side again, while Issei was seeing a strawberry blonde, a blunette, and a blonde magical girl)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo..._(Lum is shakes side to side once more, Issei comically caught by the kendo clubs with is friends)

_suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!_(Lum soon kiss Issei one the side, making him blush, but soon punched by Koneko)

_Hoshitachi ga kagayaku yofuke_( A UFO draws a heart pattern, soon reveal that Lum riding on top of it)

_Yumemiru no anata no subete._(Issei is dancing side to side, but Lum and Rias are side stepping towards him, causing him to shrink)

_Aishite mo anata wa shiramburi de._(The two maidens try to kiss him,but he soon duck. Issei leaning back soon join by the other girls surprising him, all of them step dancing)

_Imagoro wa dare ka ni muchuu._(Issei sneaking away with a smile on his face, but soon meets a baby on a floating potty, and breathed fire on him, looking quite charred)

_Aaaaaaaaaa otoko no hitotte. Ikutsu mo ai o motteiru no ne _(A tiger striped ship flys off screen, bat hearts moving across the screen, leaving pink neon streaks behind. The Urusei Yatsura cast running across the screen, red ribbons following them. The fish creature soon following them)

_Aaaaaaaaaa achikochi ni baramaite. Watashi o nayamaseru wa _(A tiger striped space fighter float off screen. The Highschool of DXD cast are flying upward with a hearts in the back ground. The fish creature tries to fly but soon falls, revealing Issei and Rias sitting on the moon together as lovers)

_Ammari sowasowa shinaide._(Lum soon appears on the opposite side, tilting the moon and sliding Issei towards her)

_Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro._(Rias pushes down, tilting the moon back and sliding Issei towards her, Lum does the same thing, both aren't eager to share Issei. Issei himself looks a bit nervous being between the situation)

_Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!_(Lum appears in pink once more wagging her finger, while Issei is running around)

_Watashi ga dare yori ichiban._(Lum is shaking side to side in excitement)

_Ichiban suki yo!_(Issei soon sits down, sighing)

* * *

Chapter 06A: The Handsome Shape-shifter

It's a dark and stormy night. Heavy rain beats down on the streets, lightening brightens the sky as it centers on the Hyouhou residence. Inside, the Hyouhou family and their guest are receiving more bad luck from the deranged monk.

"More bad luck is being brought to Issei?" Mrs. Hyouhou said in worry, causing Lum and Asia to cling to Issei in worry.

"You are correct. Issei for some reason has a natural ability to attract bad luck and dark creatures. Most likely from his power." Cherry said in absolute calm, but this upsets Issei hearing this.

"Wait, are you saying that my power, the same power that save Lum, Asia, and the world, is making my life more miserable, just by having it?" Issei said to Cherry, nodding to confirm it.

"Power always attract the unwanted, and invites unwanted parasite, like Lum here." This cause Lum to get angry at him.

"I am not a parasite! I only bring love to his life! Right, Darling?" Lum said with sincerity.

"Well umm..." When Issei is about to give his answer, a bolt of lightening struck the power box, making the neighborhood black out, scaring both Lum and Asia to cling to Issei more.

"Oh, a black out." Mr. Hyouhou said, but Cherry laughs at that statement.

"This is no ordinary blackout, but a sign of a great beast coming to your home."

"It's just a blackout Cherry. It happens on almost every storm." Issei said to clarify this so called 'sign'.

"That's right, there is no reason to worry because I'm with you-icha." This cause Asia to huff at this and pinch Issei in jealousy.

"Come Issei, since the powers out, it's time for bed." Asia said as she drags Issei upstairs.

"Hey, wait! I want to go to bed with Darling!" Lum said as she flys upstair. Mrs. Hyouhou hugs Mr. Hyouhou behind him, smiling in remembrance.

"Asia has a point. With nothing else to do, we should go to bed." Mrs. Hyouhou said, making him smile.

"Like we use to do as newly weds." Cherry blinks at this, seeing that his warning is being brushed off.

* * *

As Cherry exits the Hyouhou house, power returns and Cherry only shakes his head as he leaves. "This is terrible, the whole family is cursed."

* * *

"Come Darling, its time for bed-icha." Lum said while in the covers, waving her top a front of Issei.

"Lum! That's indecent!" Asia said in embarrassment. Lum growls at Asia's accusation.

"Said the girl that strips without hesitation!" Asia blush more at this. Not long that Asia is on her knees, praying forgiveness.

"Come on you two, please stop fighting. I have to get this place clean up." Issei said as he clearing the floor of trash and litter with his good clothes on. Both Lum and Asia look at Issei with suspicion. While Issei isn't the dirtiest person they know, but Issei doesn't clean his room this greatly without reason.

"Who's coming Darling?" Lum said with irritation.

"I don't know what are talking about Lum." Issei said nervously.

"Don't Lie! It's that devil girl isn't it!" Asia froze on the spot as soon as Lum said that. Issei stays silent, cleaning faster on Lum's question. "She is coming isn't she?!"

"But why is she coming here Issei? Don't tell me you still thinking about becoming a devil?" Asia said in fear.

"Whats so great being a devil anyway?!" Lum said in anger. Issei laughs nervously at this, but explains anyway.

"Um... well the perks that Rias said of becoming a devil is that I would become immortal, I can rise from the ranks from lowly class servant to High lord, and later on have servants on my own." The room grow deathly silent, as a black aura surrounds Lum, showing her anger knowing on why Issei is still thinking about becoming a devil.

"You Idiot! Baka! Go to Hell!" Lum screams in fury as she begin throwing random items she can get her hands on, while Issei is dodging and catching his things.

"Asia! Please help me!" Issei cries to Asia for help, but is dumbstruck as to seeing her handing stuff to Lum as she looks downward, muttering in jealously and melacholy.

"His only wish is to be a man with multiple wives, even though its against the Lord's teachings. If he continues that way of thinking..." Asia mumbles as hands Lum Issei's chair.

"Thank you." Lum said as she hurls the chair at him.

"No wait!" BAM. The chair hit Issei squarely on the face, knocking him unconscience. Seeing Issei on the floor, both Lum and Asia have looks of worry and regret.

"Issei/Darling! Please don't die!"

* * *

Just outside in the storm is Rias with a umbrella, walking down the road, her mind on something.

"Its coming closer... everyday that time is coming closer." Rias looks up in distraught. "With Issei in my peerage, there might be a change for me to change it. And maybe with him, I maybe could ask Asia to join too." Rias smiles on that thought, but soon frowns remembering something Lum said.

"You don't want for Darling! You only want his power!" Rias shakes her head, removing the memory from her head.

"No, I'm not like that. I would never do something that selfish." Rias told herself, but her mind reels back to when the school were suffering from that plague demon. "I could never be that selfish, even though its natural for a devil like me." As Rias reflects, a huge lightening storm forms above her, building, growing, until it stikes right afront of her, surprising her greatly.

"What the Hell?!" As Rias tries to collect herself, a large bestial form emerges from the lightening. What came out is what looks like a bull at first glance, but it carry traits that defies that idea. It haves tiger claws, instead of hooves, tiger striped hide, segmented horns, a mouth full of long fangs, and eyes full of hunger. Rias jumps back, her hands engulfing in red and black energy. As the creature approach her, it began to shrink, change shape. What ever the creature is doing, it made Rias blush a bit, seeing what the creature turning into.

* * *

Issei is sitting at his window, wondering what taking Rias so long. "Issei please come to bed. It's getting late." Asia said as she regrets her eariler actions. Issei pats her head, trying to ease her.

"I know it's getting late, but what kind of man would I be if I stood up to a girl?"

"A faithful one for that matter." Lum said with jealousy still in her system. "And it be better if that beast Cherry mention ate her up whole."

"Lum! That's isn't nice to say to anyone." Asia said in shock.

"Like you didn't thought about it." Asia reel back on Lum's statement. As Issei tries to calm the girls down, a pair of hands grabs Issei's window, slowly rises up to show a tired, soaked Rias.

"Isseeeiiii." Rias moans, catching the group's attention.

"RIAS!" Issei screams in fear.

"Yay! The devil is dead!" Lum shouts in joy, rising her arms in triumph.

"You poor soul. May you forever be at God's side." Asia pray seeing Rias met her untimely demise.

"One, I'm a devil, I don't go to heaven. And two, I didn't die. This man brought me here." Rias said as rises up more, showing that she been riding a tiger stripe bull creature, making her fall on Issei.

"Man?" Issei said in confusion, seeing the large creature sitting in his room. Not long the creature began to shrink, warp into a handsome man, wearing a one piece tiger suit, having green hair, and a pair of horn on his head.

"Rei!" Lum said in surprise and fear.

* * *

"Hmm? What's with all that noise?" Mrs. Hyouhou said curiously.

"It's probably nothing. You know how the girls act around this time." Mr. Hyouhou re-ensure his wife, but the sounds of screams and running didn't help.

"I'm going up anyway. What if our useless soon finally cave in." Mr. Hyouhou sighs at this, but nods as he too joins his wife upstairs.

As they approach Issei's room, they hear a commotion inside. "No! I'm not going back! Get away from me! Go away! Go away! Go away!"

"Isn't that Lum's voice?" As Mrs. Hyouhou opens the door, she sees Lum being chase by a stranger. "Oh my! Who is he?"

"He is Lum's ex-fiance apparently." Rias said as she, Issei and Asia are watching Lum getting chase by him.

"Lum!" The stranger said in a deep masculine voice as he finally grabs hold of her.

"No Rei! Go away! I hate you!" Lum screams as she starts to scratch his face, oddly not leaving a mark.

"So that his name huh. Lum and Rei that has a nice ring to it." Rias said with a smirk.

"So more guest then? I guess I should make some tea then." Mrs. Hyouhou said as she began to walk back downstairs with Mr. Hyouhou.

"See. It nothing to worry about." Mr. Hyouhou said to his wife, but she has a look of uncertainty.

"I don't know. The return of a ex-love, and see them in the arms of another. That is never a good sign. It alway lead to trouble."

"Where you learn that?"

"From dramas of course."

* * *

Back to Issei's room...

"Lum, why you left Rei in the first place? He is a handsome man and it make sense to marry someone of your own species." Asia said in curiousity.

"No way! He maybe that now, but everytime that he gets excited, he transforms!" Lum screams in fury, but she then looks to Issei with tears in her eyes. "I.. I.. I only want Darling!" Lum jumps onto Issei, pushing him to the ground.

"Wait. Wait! Not a front of everyone!" Issei said with embarrestment. Normally he is all into it, but with Asia here and her ex-fiance watching, it's quite the opposite. That doesn't help when Rei is growling in anger, changing back to a beast.

"See! He is showing his true colors!" Lum said as she points out Rei's beatial form.

'He isn't the only one.' Issei thought as he is seeing Rias emitting a deathly aura around her, and Asia is puffing her cheecks and crying with tears of sadness and jealousy.

"So what he turns to a monster once a while. Nobodies perfect." Rias said while Rei calms down, transforming back to his humanoid form. Then the door opens up, showing Mrs. Hyouhou holding a tray of tea and dumpling.

"I hope you don't mind these leftover dumplings I made yesterday. They might not be fresh, but they are still delishious." As Mrs. Hyouhou set down the tray, Rei picks up her hand and licks her fingers. Everyone blush at this, especially Mrs. Hyouhou.

"Oh my, how bold children are these days." Mrs. Hyouhou said to herself as leaves the room.

"Hey! Just what the hell you were doing with my mother!" Issei screams in fury, but Rei said nothing as he looks deeply to the tea and dumplings. "Is he alway like this?" Issei said to Lum with irritation in his voice.

"Only when food is around." Lum said, making everyone confused at that statement.

"Food?"

"He was licking the juice off her fingers. He is extremely TACKY!" Lum screams just as Rei begin scarfing down the dumplings and chugging tea with gutso.

'Man, she's right' Issei thought, as it is interupted with Lum wailing.

"He's a Pig! I hate him! I hate him!" Lum screams, shaking side to side. Not long Rei begins to cry, upsetting Asia and Rias.

"Lum, stop that! You hurt his feelings!" Rias said what looks to be worry. It only unset Lum more, making her cry on the floor.

"No! Hs is crying tears of joy because the dumplings were good!" Rei nods his head confirming it. Lum cries even harder, hitting the floor with her fist. "Wahh! He hasn't change one bit!"

"But isn't his good looks enough for you?" Rias said, hoping to remove this one barrier from Issei.

"I don't want a man like him! I only want Darling!" Lum clings to Issei once more, and again upsetting the group.

"Lum! Please stop this indecency!" Asia said blushing up a storm.

"Agree! Someone with your maturity should be able to love someone like Rei with little problem." Rias said with a twitch in her eye. 'Normally I don't stoop this low, but with that date coming closer, I don't have much choice.'

"No no no no no, no way!" Lum said childishly. Rias is getting more angry seeing this psedo-oni refusing her logic.

"Lum. It make sense that you marry someone of your own species. So in logic, you should go home with Rei and live happily ever after." Rias said once more, her aura growing more tence, scaring everyone, but Lum.

"No way." Lum inhale greatly, getting ready to say something loudly. "Because I'm having Darling's baby!" Everyone in the room froze on the spot, nobody making a noise, while Lum smiles as if she won.

"Mind running that by again. I think I got something stuck in my ear." Rias said with anger in her voice. Either anger toward Lum or Issei, only God knows.

"Hahahaha. Are you really that surprised? I'm pregnant for over a month now!" Lum laughs at Rias shock. Rias is shaking in place, a look of anger in her eyes, focusing on Issei.

"Issei... you been a bad boy... you will be punished." Rias rise her hand as it glows in power, magic circles surrounds it.

"Wait! That not true! Lum is making it up!" Issei tries to defend himself as Rias comes closer and closer to him. Not long Issei hears sniffles behind him and sees Asia crying, breaking his heart. "No Asia, don't believe in it!" Asia only smiles, her eyes still full of tears.

"Congraulations Issei, you're going to be a father. I hope that you and your wife have a nice full life." Asia stand up and begins walking to the door. "Now if you excuse me, I must pack." This scares Issei greatly, knowing that Asia thinks that she lost the only person she considers a friend. Issei grabs Asia before she left, shocking Asia greatly. "Issei what are you doing?"

"Asia, what I am saying is true. I didn't impregnate Lum. I would never do something like that with you around. Believe me Asia." Asia arms grabs onto his, trying to hold back the tears poorly.

"But when Lum said those words, I thought..., I thought...," The Asia cries into Issei's chest, Issei comforting her. When this happen, Rias anger dissipated, knowing Issei's personality. Even though he would jump in on a one night stand, but he would never do it when people he cares about are there. This would be considered a nice touching moment, expanding character development and connection.

"Grrrrrrr..." Sadly that won't happen when Rei and Lum are ignoring this sentimental moment, especially Rei.

"GrrrrRRRRR**RRRRRRR**... **RAAAAAAAAAHHHHH**" Right a front of everyone Rei transforms to his bestial form, ready to devour Issei alive.

"Wait Rei, don't do anything stupid." Issei warns Rei but his only response is roaring at him. "Oh shit!" Issei just barely dodges Rei's initial attack, but Rei continues on, chasing Issei around the room. Rias and Asia are worried about Issei's well being.

"Lum, do something about this!" Rias orders, but Lum ignores it, singing and humming while knitting tiger striped booties. Rias is irked seeing this, now knowing that Lum is faking it.

"Lum please stop Rei! He is out of control!" Asia please to Lum, hoping that she can calm Rei down, but she is just sitting there, holding her stomach in bliss.

"Oh! I felt the baby kick." Now Asia begin to doubt Lum's claim. While the girls try to convince Lum, Rei has Issei in a cornor, Issei himself prepares to fight it. Soon enough, the giant tiger cow changes back to a oni, pulling out a pistol, pointing it at Issei.

"Gun." Rei said, scaring everyone in the room, but Lum.

Lum flies to Issei, who have his hands up, thinking about using his Sacred Gear with everyone around. "Darling, Rei is challenging you to a duel" Rei nods at this. "If you don't accept, he will kill you right on the spot."

"Bang." Rei said as he pulls the trigger, which is weird considering its a laser gun.

Lum clings to Issei side, hugging him warmly. "Darling, you will fight to protect me." Lum give Issei a kiss on the cheek, making him blank out there. This also made Rias and Asia a bit jealous that Issei is defending Lum's honor.

* * *

Issei and Rei are standing outside now, the storms still raging on. Thunder and lightening clashing across the skies, both foes ready to clash one another. This would be consider epic, but that is greatly down played with the large crowd surrounding them, the media filming everything, and both of them wearing lightening rod helmets.

"Darling, don't lose!" Lum screams to Issei, making Rei change a bit.

"Issei, please don't die." Asia prays in worry.

"Issei, if you win, alive or dead, I will make you my special servant!" Rias said casually.

"Not like I have much of a choice. Heaven hold my fate right now." Issei said as he cross his arms.

"What is going on?" Mrs. Hyouhou ask to a neighbor.

"A duel is happening."

"A duel? In this day and age?" Mr. Hyouhou said in confusion. They went though the crowd only to see Issei and Rei in the middle of the field.

"Issei!" Both parents scream in fright.

"I told you something bad would happen." Mrs. Hyouhou said. As they stand there, the storm above unleash a giant lightening bolt directly onto them.

"Issei!" The girls and his parents screams seeing Issei being strucked by lightening. Both competitors are struggling to say still and trying to say conscience. Issei is spazing in place, while Rei is gritting his teeth, staying still though out the whole thing.

"Issei, please be okay." Asia prays to the heavens.

"Grrrrrr." Rei clamps up, but soon starts to scream loudly, transforming to his beastial form, spazing everywhere like Issei. And when it was over, only Issei is standing, while Rei is laying on the ground.

"Yay! Rei change! Darling won-icha! Darling!" Lum rushes to Issei side, followed by Asia and Rias, all of them holding onto him, while he collapes on the floor. "I knew you would protect me Darling! I will give you a beautiful child-icha!" Lum said in glee.

Asia puffs her cheeks hearing what Lum is saying. "Stop lying Lum. Its a sin to lie, especially something about something precious as new life."

"Quiet you two. I must perform the ceremony." Rias said as she pulls out a glowing pawn piece out of her pocket.

"Like Hell you are!" Lum said as she blew up the piece up, shocking Rias greatly. Rias growls at this and pulls Issei towards her.

"Issei is going to be my special servant!"

"No! He is going to be the father of our child!"

"Please stop this! You're pulling Issei apart." Asia said as she is pulling Issei behind him.

As this was happening, the Hyouhous are walking up to Rei's form, wondering what to do with him now. "Should we send him to jail?" Mr. Hyouhou said to his wife.

"I don't know, he seems harmless now." Mrs. Hyouhou said as she pets Rei's head, receiving a purr of approval from him. Mr. Hyouhou cross his arms, thinking about it

"Can't exactly keep him. Besides his appitite, keeping a bull, much less a tiger bull, is something quite unheard of today." Mrs. Hyouhou nods as she continues petting Rei.

"He's going to be my servent Oni!" Rias screams as she pulls Issei to her.

"No! He's going to be the father of our children Demon!" Lum screams as she pulls Issei towards her.

"Please stop fighting." Asia pleas as she pulls Issei towards her.

Issei on the otherhand. "Is this heaven or Hell? I don't know!"

* * *

Issei nears Rias, but soon replace by Lum, making him trip. Title apears.

**Those Obnoxious Demons**

* * *

_Commercial begins_

"Ha ha ha ha."(A old monk is running swiftly his withered body can. Running from a small group of armed soldiers.)

"There he is get him." (The leader of Asian decent orders them.)

"I must keep it away, I must protect it. Hurg! (A sword pierces right behind him. The leader pulls out the sword, a large gush of blood escapes from his wound. The monk falls down, gasping in pain. The leader walks toward him.)

"Where is it? (The monks laughs and coughs blood, irking the leader, stomping his foot on the wound) "Where is it?!" (He heard auduble crunch beneath his foot, curious on what it was.)

"A place I know by heart." (The monks rolls over, opens his ropes to show a dimond shape seal, with four charging horses inside it, burned to his chest, broken, where the leader have stabs him.) "May you be forever damn in hell." (He dies on the spot, the leader growling. Not long he calls someone, letting him know that the mission failed.)

"Illusive man, this is Kai leng. The mission failed. The artifact is destroyed." (In a secluded part of space, a middle aged caucasian is sitting afront of a dying star, smoking a ciggerette, sighs at this.)

"I see. Kai Leng, bring you and your operative back to base pronto." (Kai Leng looks confused at this)

"Why that sir? It's just a trinket."

"No you are wrong. (The Illusive man drags a long smoke, breathing it out soon after.) There is a reason why seals aren't ment to be broken."

[_Darksiders- Rose Scythe_]

(A meteor storm is falling towards a planet, within it two being of polar opposites, battle one another, neither aren't giving in)

From the creator that brought you "Those Obnoxious Demons" and "Neon Genesis Evangelion: Trouble in Daten City."

(Cities from Palaven, Tuchanka, Thessia, Sur'kesh, Omega, the Citidel, and Earth, showing civilians enjoying their peace, until they are struck by meteors)

Gives you a crossover that has never been touch before.

"News of meteor showers striking on all garden worlds is causing great stir within all terratories." A young human news reporter said as she stands next to where it landed on earth. As civies near the crash site, something began to emerge from it, two beings of supernatural origins, one covered in golden armor with glowing wings, while the other is a unnatural beast, with great horns, wearing chained human skulls. After crushing it's foe, it began looking at the onlookers, their eyes full of fear. It roaring in malace.

A time when myth becomes truth. "What in Spirts' name is happening?" A Turian commander roars as reports of "monsters" emerging from the ground, attacking civilians and "flying humans" defending them are given to him. "I want real reports, not something from a children story!" The commander yells at his yeoman.

A time of peace coming to a end. "Everyone inside now!" A Asari Commando on Thessia roars to the civilians as they are running from hordes of creatures, one by one getting eaten. "Goddess." The commando whispers as she is seeing all this, starting to shot them down.

A time that when all things are coming to a end (Krogen are fighting and firing weapons on a species of Thesher Maws they have never seen before. On Sur'kesh, Salarian soildiers are investigating a site that reports a large human, fordging weapons.)

"What in Spirits' name is going on?!" The Turian councillar screams as he and his colleges are receiving news. On earth, soldiers are fighting these unholy creatures with the angels, but they soon stop as they heard neighing. From the smoke emerge four individuals, riding unnatural steeds, all carrying a aura of destruction, as they begin to slay the demon horde.

A time when the call must be answered.

(Humans are fighting in the streets as they are killing the horde one by one. The Hellguard shooting down any abomination that come near them. On Palaven's moon, the Turians are shooting both husks and demons, as they get assits from the makers and their Wardens and Guardians. Juscticars are fighting against their Ardat-Yakshi detainees, leading them is a beautiful demoness.)

What will you do... (Images of Samael on a black throne, Gabriel standing afront of someone, a intelligent Wicked standing before the council.)

To prevent... (People all over the Galaxy fighting one another, Cerberus fighting with the Reapers, the Asari Republic fighting with the Hellguard, the Krogen fighting against the demon horde, the Quarians and Geth fighting against their corrupted breatheren.)

The End of Days. (Everyone in the galaxy are fighting on Earth, ships are flying with gryphons, mortal soldiers are fighting along with legendary figures, Cerberus is fighting with the corrupted horde and Husks against the opposing force. Commander Shepard is riding along the Four Horsemen, the image changing between Shpard holding powers of Heaven, Hell or a combination of both)

_**Armageddon Effect**_

"We are the Harbinger of your Destiny. Destruction is your Salvation." Harbinger and as he and the other Reapers begin desending on Earth, hints of Corruption are within them.

Is this the beginning of the end or a start of a new beginning?

_Commercial ends_

* * *

Issei running towards a topless Lum, but gets punch by Koneko as the title appears.

**Those Obnoxious Demons**

* * *

Chapter 06B: Return of the Lady-killer

"So you were on the news again?" Mastuda asks Issei as they walk down the street after school.

"Yeah. 'A love Triangle from Outer Space.' That what they call it." Issei sigh, remembering it.

"Well it didn't improve your image. I heard that students from the Academy and Tomobiki High are making death threats on you. Can't blame them, when three beautiful women are fighting for you." Motohama said, but then both he and Mastuda begin to cry. "You lucky Bastard!" Both of them screams at him.

"First Lum, then Asia, now Rias!" Mastuda screams in jealous fury.

"Keep this up, we will have no choice but to curse you and your decendents to a life time of pain and misery." Motohama said as he adjust his glasses over his still tearful eyes.

Issei backs up as they come closer to him, with envious eyes. "Come on guys, its not I like did it on purpose. 'Despite the fact that three beautiful girls are fighting for me hahaha.' Issei thought to himself with a lectherous smile.

"But you are glad it happen!" The other Perverted Trio said to Issei, catching him by surprise.

'Damn it! How can they keep finding out?' As Issei back up even more, he bumps into someone.

"Hey! Watch it!" The stranger yells at the group, scaring them. It wasn't long that Issei reconize the stranger and those near him.

"You!" Both Issei and the now know stranger. It's the spectled leader and his fellow members from the Lum Fan Club. "What are you doing here?!" The Spectled leader screams in fury. Issei growls at this. still remembering what they did to him and Asia.

"Me and my pals are going out to lunch to that new resturant. And what of you guys, still kidnapping people and making half baked plans." Issei answers, ticking off the group.

"We too are coming to lunch to the very same resturant." The leadersaid with a twitch in his eyes. "Luckly for us all, it just a few stores that way." He points to a new looking resturant, a ;arge group waits outside with a smiling cow above it's door, with a sign that says " '1.50 for jumbo size beef bowl.'

"Thank you for pointing that out." Issei said as he, his friends, and the Lum Fan club walk together.

"If there are a few thing that are true, if the indivisual or group are too angry or too stupid to think straight, they will put their issues aside when food is involve." The fish creature said as he also walks to the resturant.

"Excuse me. Pardon us." Issei said as the group move though the crowd, all of them giving them shocked and horrified faces. "Whats with everyone?" Issei ask his friends.

"Beats me. I would figure that most people would like beef bowls at that price." Mastuda giving his thoughts.

"Yes, quite parculiar. Even with the ongoing recovery of the global recession, food on these prices should be raking in great income." Motohama said in suspicion.

"Who cares. Jumbo Beef bowls at cheap prices, what more does a man want. Am I right?" The spectled leader said to his group, all of them yelling in joy. Issei shake his head at this. As they enter inside, all of them scream in fear, esesially Issei, when they see a giant tiger stripe cow eating jumbo size beef bowls one by one. "Its a cow eating Beef bowls!" The speckled leader screams in fear.

"It's Rei. What is he still doing here?" Issei said outloud, grabbing his friends's attension.

"It's he Lum's former fiance." Motohama said as he slowly backs away.

"What that giant cow still doing here?" Mastuda quivers as he also backs away.

"I don't know, but I want to be anywhere but here." Issei said as he and the other Perverted Trio starts to runaway, but something is weighing them down. It turns out to be the Lum Fan Club, paralaze in fear, clinging to the nearest thing they can grab hold on, which turns out to the Trio. "Hey, let go!" Issei yells at them.

"We can't. Our brains is screaming to run, but our legs aren't listening." The speckled leader pleas, the others agreeing.

Rei stops mid-eating his latest bowl, Rei turns around, roaring at the group. "Help us!" "Mama!" Chibi and Pomador screams in fear, but Rei only grabs Issei, chocking him to the ground.

"Quick! Jumbo Beef bowl now!" Issei said as he is kicking Rei off him.

"Yes sir!" the Owner screams.

* * *

A bowl is place a front of Rei, he is eating with greediness. Issei pay for his bowl, as the group relax a front of the hungry bull. "Yo, Issei. How do you know this bull?" The speckled leader asks.

"If you haven't watch the news, he name is Rei and he use to be Lum's fiance." Issei said as he slumps to his chair.

"What!" The Lum Fan Club screams in disbelief. "That can't be right! Lum would never marry this cow!" The Speckled leader said, still in disbelief. Rei puts down his bowl, laughing at the group, and begins to shrink and warp afront of them. "Hey, what is he doing?" The leader asks Issei.

"He is transforming to his Oni form." Issei explains, causing laughter from the fan club.

"If his alter ego is a bull, I hate to see what his real form is!" The Speckled leader said, but as soon he looks to see Rei's true form, the fan club froze on the spot.

"A man's looks isn't everything!" "It's the heart that counts!" "It's the guts!" The Fan club protest seeing Rei's true form. The Perverted Trio laugh at this.

"Not convincing coming from you guys." Mastuda snickers at this.

"While still having Lum at your side still irritate us, but seeing that you took her from another Bishonen Bastard, congratulations are in order." Motohama smiles at Issei.

"Only doing my duty for all the real men all over the world." Issei smiles at this. Rei smirk at all this, but soon pulls something out of his suit, blowing into it. When it fully expanded, it surprises the group to see to be a inflated Lum doll.

"Lum." Rei said as he held it in his hands, but he begin to ball and transform back to his bull form. This upset the fan club when they see Rei cuddling to it.

"Stop that you Ugly Cow!" "We won't let defile Lum..." "... in any shape or form!" "Where can I get one!" The fan club said one by one, but Rei only angerly hiss at them, and they begin to cry and run away. Rei return to crying, looking mornfully at the Lum Doll.

"BWHAAAAAAA!" Rei hugs the doll tightly, causing the air inside it to collect in it's legs, to the point it pops, flying everywhere, until it flew outside, away from the shocked Rei. The Perverted Trio and the Lum fan Club froze too, until everyone begins to laugh at this.

"Even a doll doesn't want you, that is just sad!" Issei laughs at this.

* * *

Just outside, Lum is hopping from building to building looks for our hero. "Darling where are you-icha." Lum said as she lands onto of a post with just her finger. Loud screams coming from the restaurant catches her attention and smiles greatly seeing Issei coming outside with his friends. "Darling!"

She flies to him quickly to him, but Rei stomps right on top of him, getting ready to catch Lum. "Lum!" Rei screams in joy, but Lum is in distress.

"Oh shoo! Get away! Get away!" Lum screams at Rei.

"No... Way!" Rei said as he shakes his head, but the Lum Fan Club trips him in retalliation, realeasing Issei at the same time.

As Issei gets up, he is soon gets glomp by Lum, making him and Lum fall to the ground. "Darling! You sacrafice yourself to save me!" Lum said as she give Issei a kiss on the cheek, making Rei angrier then before.

"Lum!" Rei screams at this, but Lum only gives a dirty look.

"You still haven't given up on me?' Lum said to him, but the tiger bull only bring out a piggybank, a bundle full of junk.

"Are you saying that you save all you money just to see Lum, but after the duel, you spend it all on the Beef bowl place and now you have no way home?" Rei nods as he transforms back.

"Not my problem! It because like thing like that is the reason I dump you!" Lum screams at him. Issei sighs at this.

"So Rei, if Lum so important to you, have you propose to her?" Rei shook his head, but Lum gets a idea from this.

"Yes Rei. If you make a decent proposal, I will go home with you." Lum said to Rei.

"Yeah, say a proposal to her." "You can say your name, then it should be easy." "Go for it." "Can you speak any human languages?" The fan club jived him. Rei only chuckle at this as he brings out another item out of his suit. It turns out to be a tiger striped scroll, unraveling it, and begin to read.

"Will you... cook for... me... for the... rest... of... our... days?" Rei struggling to say. Everyone is shock at this.

"Holy crap! He said a full sentence!" Mastuda screams in surprise.

"I know! Let see if he can do it without the cheat sheet." Motohama said as he checks out the scroll. "Isn't this a scroll from your planet Lum?"

"Yes, it a Oni to human language book for first graders." Lum said as she crosses her arms.

Rei ignore this and he walks to Lum pointing at himself. "Pro... mise."

"Promise? What promise?" Lum said, while acting ignorate at it. "Darling do you know what he is talking about?" Lum asks Issei.

"Sorry, but I don't what you talking about." Issei said truefully. He seriously doesn't know what she is talking about.

"Same here dude. I don't remembering or hearing anything about some promise." Mastuda said in confusion.

"Agree, I have no recollection of such promises." Motohama said to Rei.

"Hehehe. So you promise Lum huh. Hey guys, do you remember any promise?" The speckled leader ask his fellow members.

"Speak no Evil." "See no Evil." "Hear no Evil." Is what they responded.

"Maybe you could explain it then Rei. You spoke a full sentence, telling us a story should be a cinch." Issei said to Rei, but made everyone else laugh at Rei. Rei grows furious at this, and soon transform into a larger sized Tiger bull, towering over Issei and everyone else, roaring in fury. "Holy crap he even more mad now! Run!" Issei sreams at the group, all of them running, except Lum who hops. As they are running, Issei gets a idea. "Mastuda go to that fruit cart! I got a idea!"

_**Dragon Boost**_

Issei summons his Boosted Gear turning around to face Re.

_**Boost**_

Issei grabs hold onto Rei's horns, holding Rei back a bit.

"Okay, I'm at the cart now what?" Mastuda said as he sees Issei holding back a giant beast.

"Buy a whole lotta fruit and throw one at another direction!" Issei said as he begins to strain under Rei's weight.

"Alright!" Mastuda just grabs a whole lot of fruit, pays for it then tosses a apple down the street. Rei soon stops and begins chasing after the apple. "Thats the plan? Just toss food at him so we can distract him?" Mastuda said to Issei.

"Yeah (huff) can you think (huff) if a better idea?" Issei ask him.

"Not at the moment. So what now?" Mastuda asks Issei.

"If we could run to the park, we may lose him there." Motohama sugested. A loud roar surfaces, revealing to be Rei oncemore. "Holy crap!" Mastuda throws another fruit, and Rei chases after it.

"You heard him, let go!" Issei roars at the group, all of them following them, with Rei chasing after them.

* * *

"Ms. Noodle, will you marry me." A young man ask a beautiful woman, who is shocked hearing this.

"Mr. Soup, are you serious?"

"Of course I'm serious. There is nobody else that I would rather ask." Mr. Soup said, and look at Ms. Soup longfully. "Is there someone else in your life Ms. Soup?"

Ms. Soup also looks longfully into Mr. Noodles's eyes. "Oh Mr. Soup, of course..." When she was about to give her answer, our group jumps over them, interupting this romantic setting,

"Excuse us!" "Pardon us!" "Sorry to intrerupt!" They said quickly as they ran. Soon the couple got up, Rei crashes inbetween them, changing back to his normal form.

"Will you cook for me for the rest of our lives?!" Rei screams to Lum, but she ignores it.

"Of course I will." Not Ms. Soup however. Rei only continue chasing after Lum, leaving a shocked Mr. Noodle and blushing Ms. Soup behind.

"Ms. Soup, how could you!" Mr. Noodle screams in hurt.

"But he already got me cooking." Ms. Soup sighs.

* * *

"Come on baby... one kiss?" A young man asks to a blushing girl, but not long, Rei crashes in while chasing Lum.

"Will you cook... for me?!" Rei screams at Lum.

"Oh course I will." The woman said, shocking her boyfriend.

"Will you cook for me?!"

"Yes!" A young brunnete said excitedly.

"For me?!"

"Sure!" A blonde said.

"Will you cook for me?!"

"I can do that!" A red head said. Rei transforms to his bull form chasing Issei and Lum. Mastuda tosses another fruit, luring Rei away, but scaring a Ramen cart owner away, making him drop his megaphone. Rei quckly picks it up, climbing that tallest tree and begins shouting into it.

"Will you cook for me for the rest of our lives?!"

"Yes!" Almost every young female scream inside the park, and Rei is getting vengeful looks from their boyfriends.

* * *

"Sigh."

"Something a matter Asia?" Akia ask Asia as they return from school.

"Oh, it's nothing Akia." Asia reinsure, but Akia only smiles like a cat.

"More problems at home Asia?" Akia said slyly.

"I don't know what are you talking about." Asia denies quickly. "Everything is going fine." Akia doesn't buy that.

"Really now. Then how close are you and Issei are?" Akia said sarcasticly.

"Well, umm, we started sleeping together." Asia said nervously.

"Oh my, how bold. Just you or you share?" Akia said curiously.

"Umm, I sometimes share with Lum." Asia whispers to herself, but Akia heard every word, smiling greatly.

"Oh ho, how very bold. I can imagine Issei enjoy the situation. Him between two beautiful girls, both of them using him as a body pillow, he himself feeling them up..."

"Stop! Issei doesn't do that!" Asia protested, but Akia still smiles.

"And what makes you think that doesn't cross his mind." Asia blushes at this.

"Maybe he does think about it, but that doesn't mean he acts appond it." Akia huffs at Asia's statement.

"Oh course. Issei Hyouhou is your knight in shining armor, who will whisk you away, carrying you in his manly arms." Akia spoke dramaticaly to Asia, making her blush.

"Stop that!" Asia said with a red face.

"Kidding. Issei is a good guy in the long run. No need to get rild up." Asia defends herself. Asia sighs at this, her blush still on her face.

'But it would be nice for Issei to carry me like a priness.' Asia though to herself. As she was distracted, something is running towards her in quick hast.

"Asia!"

"Huh?" As Asia returns to reality, she suddenly feels light and and secure all of the sudden. Asia looks up to only see Issei, carrying her in his arms, princess style. 'Hwua! I can't believe it! Issei is carry me!' Asia thought as steam is coming out of her head. As Asia is living her fantasy, Akia is now wondering what just happen to her friend.

"Lum! Please cook for me for the rest of our days!" Rei screams as he runs past her.

"Wait!" "Don't go!" "Wait for us honey!" A horde of girls runs screaming after Rei.

"Get back here you bastard!" "I will guts you where you stand!" "How dare you propose to my fiance!" Following the girls is a horde of their lovers, all of them carrying weapons and mideval tortoring tools in their hands. Akia only did is just smile at this.

"Oh, looks like more drama at the Hyouhou house is going to happen. I got to remember to ask Asia for the details."

* * *

"Hmm, what taking Issei so long?" Mrs. Hyouhou said as she prepares dinner. "Asia is also late. I hope nothing happens to them." As she begins chopping the vegetables, a load slam alerts her. "Hmm? Issei is that you?"

"Mom! Help barge the doors!" Issei screams as he set Asia down, while Mastuda, Motohama, the the fan club begin stacking large furniture.

"Oh my, what happen?"

"You don't wanna know." As they finish, the hordes begin to barge in. "Crap! Everyone hold on!" The whole group are putting their weight onto te door, holding them, back, while Lum is being chased by Rei and Mrs. Hyouhou is still confused. Try as they might, the door cave in, unleashing hordes of love sick girls and vengeful males.

"There he is!" the girls scream as they see Rei.

"You bastard! You will pay for what you have done!" The males roar in fury. Rei is soon surrounded by the girls, all of them hoping to get him for themselves, while the males are circling him, lookinf for a opputunity to give him pain.

"You... misunderstand... me..." Rei struggles to say, but it falls to deaf ears as the girls are to entrance by his beauty and their lovers are too angry to listen at all. The group stand and watch as they see Rei suffering the concequences of his actions, while Lum hovers above him, covering her ears, ignoring his plight.

* * *

"Huh? What's going on?" Mr. Hyouhou said as he returns home, seeing large groups of men and women entering his house.

"How the hell should I know?" The fish creature said as he taking out the trash.

* * *

"Man what a day." Issei said as he sits down on his bed. After the men and women left, Rei left too. Maybe looking for a job or a Twenty four/ seven store most likely. As he lay down on his bed, something begin to glow on his floor. "Huh?" A magic circle begins to form, a circle he is quite familiar. "Wait, isn't that Rias's magic circle?" And almost on cue, Rias began to materialize inside it. "Rias." Issei said as she fully materialize. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" Issei ask as he can see Rias's eyes full of forlorn.

"It's something else." Rias said quickly. Faster then he can process it, Issei is now underneath Rias, she herself guiding his hand to her breast. "Please Take me!" Rias said loudly, but soon her voice change to more full of desperation and sorrow. "Please take my virginity."

* * *

**Author note: Whew! That took a long time. Sorry for the wait. The length of the story combine with what I call 'Flea genocide', would take a long time to type this story. The "Commercial" that is introduced, that is the second most wanted story that was in the poll earlier last month. For those who want to type it, go for it. Currently, two stories are plenty for now and as it is stated, its a crossover that no one ever thought of ever. Maybe did a art version, but not in fanfiction. If you need help on your story and linking it to the 'commercial', PM me. Until I decide to do it, its a free for all for those who want to do it.**


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